For 17 years, I wrote for me first, others second. Now it's time to enjoy my final 17 years or so of writing for me first, and me only. Quick, to-the-point, "live" updates will be dropped on Facebook for Todd and Christine, as well as the few people on my friend list on PB. Blogger and LJ are now private but everything will be public at some point or another later on in life.

My Glade candle started tunneling, and I learned that the first time you light a candle, it's crucial to let the wax melt all the way across the top; otherwise, it will form a "memory" ring as wide as the wax went the first time and create a tunnel. Tom took a heat gun to melt it, but it's still tunneling—just not as much.

I slept better yesterday/last night, but I'm still tired. Just not as tired as yesterday. It frustrates me to not know how to break out of this vicious, never-ending cycle of bouncing back and forth between decent enough energy to feeling batshit exhausted. It's just up and down and back and forth with seemingly no way to stop it.

Even though I slept better last night, of course I had to have something wake me up. I was lying on my good ear when the nostril closer to the bad ear clogged up and caused me to snort. Once I changed positions, I was okay.

I totally regret coming to this state! And I really, really hope to hell the mouthpiece works out. I'm just not in a frame of mind yet to try to sleep with it. I want to get a little more caught up on sleep, if that's possible, before I try to sleep with it. I'm still a long way away from saying whether or not it's going to be usable. First, I have to hope I can somehow sleep with the mask itself. It could cause discomfort, it could leak, it could whistle, and it could dry the shit out of my mouth even with the humidity turned up.

The nose blockers came yesterday. We got a child-size silicone plug that you shove up your nose, but a little bit of air can still get through with those. The foam nose pinchers seem like they would be my best bet, although they are a little tight, and there's a stick in front of them where you pinch them open and closed. It may be a little awkward trying to sleep with that on my face.

Even if by some miracle I could get used to the mask and didn't need to plug my nose, I still want options and backup alternatives, so I still want to see about a mouthguard and nasal surgery. We're not getting out of the state. This is it. This is our forever state. So, since shots are out of the question, I have to find other alternatives to deal with allergies.

When I'm up and about, I'm fine. But at least twice a week, my nose clogs up in my sleep, and I either wake up struggling to breathe or because it causes me to snort. I wish I could get myself to stay off my stomach, but with the new setup, that might not be an option anyway.

It was nice that my NewNo story got another like and even checked the “waiting for more” option, signaling that they're looking forward to reading more. I worked on it a little earlier, but it's looking less and less likely that I'm going to win, and personally, I don't think I ever will again. Too much fatigue way too often. I'll finish the book, but it will have to be done much more slowly. I'm still a little tired since one night of good sleep isn't enough anymore to replenish my energy.

I already gained back one of the two pounds I lost from yesterday's levo skip, but I would rather that than worse symptoms. It will be interesting to see how many times I'll have to skip. I took it this morning but waited only half an hour for coffee and didn't take any supplements except for the gummies and kids' vitamins. I don't know that the gummies will do me any good, but they taste good, and I'm going to at least finish this bottle before I decide whether or not it's worth getting more. Maybe the CoQ10 was helping more than I thought it was, but I don't know.

I also figured out what was blowing up my stomach, and that was the probiotic smoothies I've been having every day. So I won't have those as often.

Tom got blood work drawn yesterday but can't donate today because of bruising.

It pained us to discuss it, but we think it would be best to have Tink put down before she gets to the point that she's really suffering. We couldn't find any way to get hold of the anesthesia used by vets to do it ourselves. She looks absolutely horrible. The tumor is half her size now. She's lost so much weight and the tumor is almost the size of two golf balls. She can barely move anymore and she can't groom herself, either or trim her back toenails. The tumor always has dried blood on it and the poor thing just looks really gross. She's still cuddly and eating, but otherwise has no life. Just like her mommy, her life is over before it's over. It's like all she can do is exist, and like I said, I don't want to wait to the point where things get dire.

So Tom did some research and found an 800 number he can call that says they deal with exotics even in our area. If not, there's a place in Lutz. We'd have to charge on the way back, but we could do it.