Guess who's back? Yeah, I knew it would be. It was waiting for me when I got up. I checked the camera and found it came in at around 9:30. It's still parked on the side and hitched to its trailer with its tool of annoyance tucked inside it. So some days he'll be out and barely noticeable, and other days it'll be loud motors, hammers, saws, and 50 guests in addition to the honking.

My fatigue has been so bad again that I gave up on the CoQ10. I realize it definitely is CF, and I definitely am screwed for life, with only a few good days scattered in. I just so happened to have a better spell for a while after starting the CoQ10, and I can see now that it had nothing to do with that. Leave it to me to be so cruelly teased, though. Just when I think I'm on to something, I find I'm not. Even though I slept a little more than eight hours, I was so exhausted and eventually napped for a little over an hour. It helped a little, but only a little.

There's no kidding myself where NewNo is concerned. I just can't do it. I can write a 50k book, but I can no longer do it in just a month because I have so little energy so much of the time. Things just aren't what they were over a decade ago, so I’ve frozen Them for now. It's going to take me months to finish the book, maybe even a year or two. It pisses me off to see assholes like the honker so full of life and energy, doing this and doing that with a seemingly unlimited supply of energy, and also what seems like a need for just five or six hours of sleep each night. It's just so not fair! I know life isn't fair. I've always known this, and I know it's never going to change, but that doesn't stop it from pissing me off. This guy's a few years older than me, and he seems to have the energy of a 20-year-old. 

I really wish I could say that the only thing limiting my activities was money. In fact, I wonder if part of me would actually be pissed if we suddenly had a lot of money, because I wouldn't really have the energy to enjoy it much. At least it doesn't take energy to enjoy the candles that are on the way. Today I'll get the patchouli amber candle, and tomorrow I'll get whiskey tobacco. I've always loved patchouli, and I wanted to try something different, and whiskey tobacco is definitely different. I can't wait to see what that smells like. I've noticed that sometimes the candles smell exactly as they're supposed to, and other times they don't. My buttercream cheesecake candle turned out to be pretty nice, with a pretty consistent throw, even though it takes time to notice it, but it definitely doesn't smell like cheesecake. It smells like gingerbread.

I've created a candle sheet on Google Sheets so I can keep track of the brands and scents I like and don't. Next up, I definitely want to try that three-scented trilogy candle—Café Favorites, or something like that, I think it is—with vanilla on top, caramel in the center, and biscotti on the bottom.