I still hurt over the loss of my Tinky. Tom said he watched some VR videos he shot when she was a baby, wanting to remember her young, healthy, and playful. In my mind's eye, I see it all. I see her at every stage of her life. My final image of her pains me the most. Handing her to a stranger and seeing her little nose stick up in the air, whiskers twitching, and wondering what the hell was going on, what these strangers were doing to her, and where her mommy and daddy were until she was unconscious, will always haunt me.

So many questions run through my mind. Is there really an afterlife? Does she somehow go on, or is that pure wishful thinking?

I had rat dreams last night, but they weren't good, and they weren't of her. I was supposed to be holding a couple of rats for someone until they could get them in a few days. I placed them in a long, skinny duffel bag and took them home, placing the bag down wherever. A few days went by, and I suddenly panicked, realizing that I'd forgotten all about the rats. I was relieved to find they were still alive when I opened the duffel bag. I took them out and gave them food and water. The house I was in looked like our house in Phoenix. I was in the kitchen when out of the corner of my eye I saw them dart across the living room. Realizing they had gotten loose somehow, I went to fetch them. The first one I picked up, however, was all bloated with tumors that appeared to be bleeding. So I rinsed the rat off in the sink and then went to get the other one, only to find the top of its head was hollowed out. Upon closer inspection, I realized its entire body was hollowed out, and I wondered how it could function that way. So yeah, it was a gross and shitty dream.

It's been a very quiet Thanksgiving. I don't know if Toni's gone anywhere, but I think it's safe to say the Honker is at someone else's place. His truck has been in his driveway all day, and I don't see any activity at his place. I wonder if he's with Colleen. I haven't seen her come around as much as I used to, so I wonder if they're not as close, especially if she has another guy.

I take that back. I see the TV on at his place. I suppose he could have slipped out on the golf cart. If Colleen is with him, she didn't come by car or her own golf cart. Or maybe he sat at home by himself all day, even though that one is hard to believe, as sociable as he is.

Andy reacted with a care emoji to my public post about putting Tink down. I still have mixed emotions about ignoring him, but I still feel that I'm doing the right thing.

Although I do still prefer to eat as healthily as I can most of the time, I need variety every now and then, and since healthy eating doesn't seem to do anything for my weight, cholesterol, or anything else — at least not much — I got myself a 42-piece snack pack from Walmart with our last grocery order. I'm doing a better job of making it last than I thought I would. Maybe that's because most of the snacks are just okay and not totally awesome. I've got more salty stuff than sweet stuff, too.

Deciding to cash out my points on Ambetter, knowing I wouldn't earn many more in just a month, I had to choose between an LED tooth whitening kit and a variety of six different bags of Amish-grown popcorn kernels. This kit comes with buttery salt. I decided to go with the popcorn, and I'll buy myself the tooth whitening kit at some point. I found the same one on Amazon. They have the popcorn too. The popcorn packs tend to be a little more expensive, so that's why I decided to let my insurance company cover that, LOL.

It's mind-boggling to know that since the 24th, I've been making $15 or more a day. Since then, I've made roughly $70! I really hope these AI jobs last! But I've lived long enough to know that all good things do come to an end. My favorites are the $5 15-minute jobs where I choose the best images, video clips, or audio clips.

So since the money has been coming in faster than usual, I decided to get myself a couple of candle-warming lamps. I'm having a problem with tunneling, and I figure this way it will be safer. I'll put one in the bedroom and one in the kitchen. From what I learned from AI, the negative is that it may not throw the scent out as much, but the positive is that it will last longer.