I just saw this poll that was taken in 1938 on TV, asking if the public approves/disapproves of a married woman working if her husband was capable of supporting her, and 78% said they disapproved. Nowadays I’m sure 99% would approve either way. What do I think? I think people should be able to do what they want based on their own individual needs and desires.

I wish I’d sent the freeloaders’ mail before the 80s. It was around the 80s that they started overriding us whites with special treatment and extra/unfair rights. Before then, you could be caught beating the shit out of an off-brand right in front of a cop and nothing would happen to you, but now, you so much as stick your tongue out to an off-brand and you’re in for it!

It never ceases to amaze me just how much childbirth is on TV! No one would ever need a Lamaze class again if this trend keeps up. I thought by now they’d switch to highlighting other topics, but nope. The population seems to be just as obsessed with the subject as I once was. There are series galore dedicated to labor and delivery. There’s even a special on covering childbirth in 9 different countries!

Anyway, I sure felt like a fool earlier. I was in the bathroom when I heard barking. It sounded like it was definitely on this property. I went and checked, yet found nothing. A few minutes later I heard it again. Then again. It sounded too loud to be outside, yet way too soft to be from someone else’s place. I began to suspect a dog may’ve gotten under the house and was trapped inside the vents. The dog sounded like it was either a puppy or a small dog. So I got Tom up and he heard it, too. It sounded like it was underneath the living room or my office. Tom went out and pulled the skirting off in one section, but never heard or saw anything. Then he realized it was my puppy screen saver I had just loaded that was doing the barking! And also, there are speakers in both my office and the living room. As stupid as I felt, though, I was glad that that was it, cuz the last thing we would’ve needed was a dog trapped in our vents!

The renters are continuing to set up whatever the hell it is they’re setting up in front of their place. At first it looked like it could be a giant playpen, a trampoline, or a swing set, but we now think it may be a portable Arizona room. Meaning, it’s just a big tent-like screen. Nothing with solid walls with outlets for stereos or anything like that.

As usual, and as I knew would be the case, I never got the doll that I should’ve gotten last week. It’s like - aaarrrggghhh!!! Why can’t I just order a fucking doll and get it! Why must there always be a delay? It’s like something up there’s punishing me for getting dolls. But we pay for them! It’s not like we’re stealing them, so what’s the big deal? It’s like - just let me order a doll and get it! I hate to think of the hell we’re gonna have to go through to get Joy delivered to us unless we do go through JBS. Even if we do go through them, though, they’ll have a problem getting her for a while from their Kingman store.

Although yesterday was the first day I didn’t shed a tear over Teddy Bear, I thought about her on and off like I always do. What happened? Just what the hell happened? After all that was said and done between us, you mean she really doesn’t care? She makes me laugh, kicks a girl out of the pod for me, says we’ll get together, takes off her ring, and now she doesn’t care? It’s like it all may as well never have happened! Like she never existed and I never existed for her. How did we go from liking each other to being nothing at all to each other? What could’ve happened to strip her of any feelings she had for me? The woman obviously doesn’t give a damn, but how could that be? How could she not have an ounce of curiosity and not feel bad about blowing me off?

No, I certainly didn’t get my dream woman out of this jail shit. All I got was a pen pal.

For the last few years, all I’ve wanted to do was speed up time. Now, a part of me wishes I could turn back the hands of time to when I still believed Teddy Bear would be in my future.