Oh, Teddy Bear, what happened, babe? I just wish I knew! Am I always going to wonder every day for the rest of my life?

Probably.

How could she have had me so fooled? How can someone come off as so genuine and caring, only to prove that they never even really cared? I mean, does she ever think of me or consider how I may feel about her dumping me?

Obviously not.

Did someone sweep you off your feet, Teddy Bear, or was it something I said in the letter or that you heard about me?

Unless she died or didn’t get my letter, lost my number, and had no way to get it from wherever she had to have gotten the letter. Even if the county swiped it, I find it hard to believe they wouldn’t show it to her or give her a copy, and if Pérez really didn’t get my letter, I’m sure it’s cuz it was never mailed. But knowing she got the letter doesn’t answer the question as to why she blew me off. It seems pretty damn likely, though, that my first two guesses are it. I doubt they threatened to fire her if she saw me or that the letter got her in trouble. Of course, there’s still the possibility that single or not, she decided against seeing a married woman.

A part of me wishes we’d never met. Just why did we meet anyway? Just so God could use her to hurt me?

Anyway, first we’re going to look more into kilns. Like where the best prices are and where’s a good place to get one in Phoenix; that sort of thing. Then, we’ll look into classes, books and or videos. I like the idea of learning by videos so I can go at my own pace at my own convenience with Tom right there, but with classes, I’d have an experienced person walking me through the steps.

I restored an old doll last night and was amazed at how good I got her looking. She was my very first doll. One I stole through the mail when I was at the Vista Ventana. She had an old-fashioned nightgown with a stain on it and a hideously styled thin blond wig that I had braided. I ripped wigs off a lot of the dolls I no longer care to display and ended up sticking her in a brown wig and a ballerina/fairy-type outfit. I’m amazed at the results. She sure does look a lot better.

Then I took the doll whose wig and outfit that came from and put her in a spare dress with a wig from one of the musical dolls I dismembered.