My fucking tooth is driving me crazy again and the weather has been miserably cold, even for NorCal, but life is otherwise good. Not even Jesse was heard from yesterday, though I crashed early in the afternoon and can’t say what racket he may’ve stirred up afterward.

Yesterday was the first day that we’d ever seen it still in the 30s at noon.

I’m adding new music to my Jango station now since they’re starting to play the same stuff over and over.

Other than eating too much and working on my stories too little, life is okay.

Sometimes I get frustrated with the no-success-allowed-for-Jodi rule that seems to have been put on me since the day I was born, but I know that no matter how many manuscripts I submit to publishers, we simply can’t change our fate. At least I’ve had some intellectual and personal success to make up for the lack of financial and career success. Besides, life was meant for those who can keep a damn schedule to begin with. I don’t want to do things just to fail. I could get a guitar, cut these nails off and try to whip myself into shape where that’s concerned, but what good would it do me? What good does being able to sing do me? Or write stories? All I can do with any of the things I’m into – writing, languages, music or whatever, is just have fun with them, and I do. All I’m saying is it sometimes sucks that I can’t get paid to do the things I’m good at and that I enjoy doing, but most people don’t enjoy their jobs anyway. Why should I have thought I’d be lucky enough to be one of the exceptions? I’m a very unlucky person. Lucky in many ways, but unlucky in more ways. Maybe that’s why I don’t bother to try to meet anyone in my own town I’m attracted to. It’s not just that I don’t want any drama and that I like to spend most of my time alone, it’s because I know better. I know what’s meant to be and what’s not.

Got another Columbus, OH hit but not from the USO. It was a direct hit and I think it too, is connected to Christine from the USO and the Dublin hit. Especially since they didn’t appear to go anywhere else other than the landing page, and I’ve noticed before that Christine doesn’t bother with comments, just the blog entries.

Later…

No email or blog views from Maliheh since Friday night. Something I said? I hope not, but I think she’d tell me if that were the case.