Jesse’s kid didn’t go careening through here on the dirt bike yesterday, fortunately. I swear I wanted to string a wire across the drive so that when the little punk came tearing around the bend just past the fork it would go flying down the hill headfirst!

Chatted with Maliheh, who just might be one of the best buddies I’ll ever have, as much as I would have laughed had someone told me years ago that I would one day say that. But just like Alison, she has always accepted everything about me as a whole. Parts of me are never doubted or ridiculed in any way.

She actually wanted to rant about a friendship that she ended for being too one-sided and to also tell me she loved what I said in my journal about how no one could punish me for telling it like it is.

A neighbor recently told her that no one in the neighborhood likes her and she told them she doesn’t give a shit. LOL, I can see why they wouldn’t like her, though. Anyone who wants to live in peace and quiet is automatically hated. People want to be free to be rude and inconsiderate toward their neighbors be it with their dogs, their music, their kids – anything they want – without anyone complaining about it.

Speaking of those that just can’t accept my own goddamn medical problems, I thought about it and even if I give myself the simplest of “jobs,” a lie like that could still be a bit complex, and well, I was never a very good liar to begin with. I’ve always found it much easier to just stick to the truth no matter how unbelievable or boring it may seem. BUT… it’s too late for this stupid idiot to go back and undo mentioning my sleep disorder. Yeah, I could really kick myself for that one. I admit it. I should’ve figured some people would not only not get it but give me grief about it, too. That’s just the thing, though. I can see this coming from strangers or acquaintances, but Andy? Andy?!

It’s sad but true that those we’d think would understand and support us the most are actually the last ones to do so more often than not. This registered sex offender has defended the blacks and made me seem like the villain when he himself says he’s been railroaded by the law after being picked on without provocation. Before identifying himself on Formspring he taunted me for my weight despite having 100 pounds on me. And now he calls me an “excuse queen” even though he has a sleep disorder too (sleep apnea). How is it this guy’s become such a hypocrite and so damn ignorant???

He claims his not believing I have a sleep disorder doesn’t mean he’s calling me a liar. It’s simply his opinion, he says. Having an opinion would be fine, it’s when he gets insulting and accusatory that’s not fine. He’s basing his “opinion” on the me of 25 years ago and he’s comparing my type of sleep disorder to his own. That’s like comparing breast cancer to skin cancer!

I realize just how untrue of a friend he really is. Oh, he’s a great friend online when he isn’t offending me with some ignorant BS, but if we were starving on the streets in his city I KNOW he wouldn’t help us. He’s nobody’s caretaker, he once told me. Well, neither am I. It’s why I never had kids. But I could never leave a friend in need hungry on the streets! Really, it’s ok to be selfish. We all are in many ways. But so selfish you’d stand by and let someone you call a friend suffer or even die?

Back to the “job” thing - I’m gonna tell just him I got it diagnosed and was recommended disability rather than tell everyone I got a job. Then maybe I can enjoy our online “friendship” without any BS mixed in. Also, if I develop any problems in the future, I’m not going to tell anyone about them. I could tell Aly and Maliheh but not Andy.

In truth, I don’t qualify for disability in this day and age cuz I didn’t work long enough and it would be a different kind of disability than the one I was on before. Also, fair or not, being married pretty much stamps out any chance to get them reinstated. Therefore, there’s no reason to get it officially diagnosed. I know I’ve got this problem. It’s as obvious as periods are periods. It’s never going to change no matter what people’s “opinions” on the matter are. I also don’t owe anyone any further explanation. Like I said, I never should’ve mentioned it to begin with.

I hope they’re right in saying that time has no meaning in the afterlife and that there’s no sense of time, cuz if that’s true, then neither do schedules.

Even Maliheh said I’ve put up with more from Andy than she ever would, and asked why. I guess I just felt bad after dumping him as I did, and well, there is more good in him than bad and I know that no one’s perfect. We still do have a lot of laughs together and I know he wouldn’t dump me no matter how irritating I got.

I have GREAT news about the benefits, but first I want to go work out and shower. I’ll just say that another reason to look forward to bombing this weekend is that again there was a yellow jacket waiting to pee with me when I got up today (now yesterday). I really think they’re coming up from under the sink.

Later...

It’ll take a month or so, but in about 30 days we will be insured for the first time in nearly a decade! I still can’t believe how much our lives have changed in less than a year! We went from no income and one foot in the grave to great money that became permanent and now great insurance, too! Wow. Just wow. Bye-bye, toothaches and maybe even bye-bye glasses if I can ever get up the nerve to have Lasik surgery. It would cost us a grand, though. I saw a video on the procedure and while the patient only described feeling dryness and pressure, she didn’t seem to be in any pain as disgusting as the video was. Really, it was totally gross to watch! I had no idea they sliced the top of the eyeball off with a “can opener” and then stuck it back on. It’s amazing it never falls back off! So I’m not sure I have the balls to do this to myself but a half hour or so of torture for a lifetime of vision might be worth it. It’s a low priority right now. First thing is getting my ear and teeth - but especially my teeth - dealt with.

There are so many details about the insurance thing, so I’ll just try to remember as many as I can, especially the basics. Ok, the medical plan that we chose is $88 a month. Considering he had to pay around $40 a week just for him up in Oregon, that’s pretty damn good. Dental is $56 a month and vision is $15 a month. We’re not going to enroll in the vision plan till October (every October is when you can change/adjust plans) because we want to focus on the move first.

We went online and chose and enrolled in the plans we decided on. We provide our SS numbers so they can connect us with Teleplan, the company he works for. The new laws have been implemented in these insurance plans and now so many things are free that once required a copay. Now we would only need to pay $25 for something like a therapist and $35 to see a specialist. Things like exams, pap smears, mammograms, x-rays, blood tests and quite a bit more are free. The dental pays 80% so if I needed the grand or so in dental work I probably need, we only pay $100. I don’t know if my teeth are worth salvaging, but I’ll find out, and that will tell me if the pain I’ve had on and off for too damn long is on account of my teeth or my ear. No need to see an ear specialist if it’s the teeth. The nerves run so closely together that it’s easy to think tooth pain is ear pain. I’m excited at the thought of finding out which one it is and dealing with it once and for all, though I’m suspecting my teeth at this point. For so many years they’ve bothered me. It started in 2004.

I know I should go for regular female exams, but I probably won’t unless I have a problem. Some would say it’s silly not to, especially being DES-exposed in the womb and with a higher risk of cervical cancer, but oh well. I’ll take my chances.

They’ll also pay him $25 to get regular physicals as part of their aim to encourage people to stay healthy. They even have activities they pay employees to participate in.

The reason we chose the $88 plan instead of the one that cost a few hundred is that the more expensive one provides hospital coverage. Well, neither of us expects to have to spend any time in the hospital, so even though we could afford it, we saw no point in getting it.

Also, the 401K is fully vested beginning in September.

In case I didn’t mention it, I did a final warrant check on myself a few days ago. Unless I’m missing something or something’s been issued in California, which I don’t see possible, that makes 3 times the black bitch tried to seek legal vengeance upon me and twice that she’s failed. Because there’s no warrant, this heightens my suspicions that “Juan D” wasn’t really a cop, but she and her buddies instead. The black pig was probably in on it since two of the email addresses that received the message I got were his. Where they really fooled me was that they knew several email addresses I had or had in the past. Yet anybody willing to pay a small fee could always get that info from a site like Intelius or something. I still don’t doubt she went to the black pig or some other pig that was actually a real pig and at least tried to screw me. But any legit pig would’ve told her she had no case on me and why.