MO is now as sluggish as Thoughts was. Why can’t sites just WORK? Just fucking FUNCTION!

For the longest time, I toyed with the idea of deleting my sister and ceasing all communications with her but will admit that I had kept in contact for my mom’s sake. But still… I was torn between doing for me and doing for a woman who was never the greatest mom to begin with. Well, tonight she helped me make up my mind.

One of the things Tammy has always loved to tell people she’s pissed at is that they will never change. She’s right. When it comes to exercising caution with those who have caused me a helluva lot more grief than split wine on our carpet could ever cause, she’s damn right I haven’t changed. But it’s not just that I worry about this person who has had no qualms whatsoever in admitting she’s no saint when pissed and how vindictive she can be, it’s that I just didn’t “feel right” about being in touch with her. Sometimes what once was can never be again, and since around 1999 or so we simply haven’t been “sisters.” Instead, we’re two totally different people with two totally different lives, interests, goals and dreams living on opposite sides of the country.

When I expressed my concerns to Tom, who also worried about getting too close to the drama queen, but was at least ok with keeping a “friendly” distance, he pointed out that with Mom aging and becoming less dependent, it’s not like she could keep Tammy out of her business that easily.

The DQ says she doesn’t have our address, mom wrote out the envelope for the GC, she thought she was doing a nice thing, I’ll never change...goodbye.

Maybe she doesn’t yet have our address. But I can see where Tammy has every opportunity to snoop through Mom’s stuff these days, and if she doesn’t now, she will eventually. Hell, I’d be tempted to do the same thing. Not to see what info I could get to spite anyone with or anything like that but just out of sheer curiosity. You know what, though? At this point, I don’t care if she has our address. It’s only – well – an address and it’s not even our physical one. And I don’t care if she uses her brood to tell me what a horrible person I am. She’s the one that dumped me this time around but I can’t deny I feel a sense of relief. Now there’s no decision to make as far as that goes, though I’m the one who deleted her on Facebook. But the strange thing is that I was never mad at her or accusing her of anything. So why she got pissed at me simply expressing annoyance over mom sharing our address is beyond me. I don’t know if something else is going on or if she’s trying to hide something or what. Either way, it never made us any less appreciative of the GC. I told her this, too.

I also took the opportunity to tell her that while I admit I’m no lawyer and I’m not calling her a liar, what she said about the will makes no sense at all. Why would my parents be dumb enough to trust her to “give me what she wants?” Well, I don’t think they were/are. I think they would know that sometimes we’re not only not speaking to each other, but people are naturally selfish. She would keep everything for herself if it were up to her as that’s only human nature. Hell, I would do the same thing. Who the hell would share fairly with their friends or siblings if they were suddenly in possession of a 100K winning lottery ticket? Not me!

“She’s just trying to get you going,” Tom said. “A will is a legal document drawn up by a lawyer.”

He was right, I realized, and it doesn’t make sense for any lawyer to draw up a will saying: Cut oldest kid out and let middle child give youngest what it wants – WTF?

That’s another thing right there; Larry has supposedly been cut out of the will. But if that’s so then why would Tammy mention keeping him out through the courts, and why would mom and dad cut him out in the first place???

Sorry, but something smells fishy somewhere. If Tammy isn’t bullshitting me, then it sounds like someone may be bullshitting her. Another thing I don’t care about anymore, though. I get what I get and I don’t get what I don’t get. That’s up to my parents as it’s their money and not Tammy’s. I only mentioned it to point out that not much makes sense where she’s concerned. Not what she said the will says and not why she’s pissed at me now for simply being annoyed with Mom if she did indeed share the address.

Funny how I don’t hear a damn thing from her till she reads something that pisses her off be it because she either misunderstands me or I’ve come to be a shitty writer. She was probably ignoring me all this time, not wanting to let me in on what was going on. If that’s so, then that makes me all the more suspicious of what she may be trying to hide or screw me out of, but I’ve known for some time now that be it on account of Tammy or my mom going broke (with a little help from above) that we wouldn’t inherit much if anything at all. It would go against what’s in my cards. If we’re still meant to be poor most of our lives or at least not rich, then we can’t be “allowed” to get much, can we?