The fatigue is really kicking my ass. It seems like nearly every day I’m napping. I feel like I’m gonna be so doomed if we can’t figure this out. My biggest fear is still that it’s chronic fatigue, something I can’t even treat let alone cure. Fatigue like this would be a horrible life sentence.

I’m not sure if I would be relieved or horrified if they told me something was wrong with my heart. It would certainly fit with my symptoms and there would be treatment for it but I just don’t see it. That would be too easy. Finding a cause and being able to say hey, that’s it and this is what we can do about it is too easy and nothing is ever that simple for me. If there’s anything up there, yes, it would be cruel enough to inflict me with something this debilitating. The only thing worse that could happen to me would be if I became paralyzed or blind. Dealing with such heavy fatigue so much of the time is nothing I can ever “get used to.” This is simply no way to live because you’re basically too tired to have much of a life.

I’m also worried about my TSH and whether or not we can ever get that under control to stay and whether or not I’m really infected. I took the second diflucan, but I have my doubts as to whether or not I ever had a yeast infection or a UTI despite the WBC in my pee.