I had hoped to sleep till around 3:00, but I woke up at 1:00. I'm very hungry now, but I'm going to have to live with it for another 6 hours or so because my lab appointment isn't until 8:00. I would have scheduled the first appointment they had at around 5:30, but it's not safe for Tom to drive in the dark until he has his cataracts removed. Next week we should learn more about that. I think it's next week, anyway. If not, then it's definitely the week after.

Anyway, I had zero leaks and two frags. I crashed at 5:00 and woke up to pee at 8:00. Then I had trouble falling back asleep, so I took half a clonazepam. I did take magnesium before bed, and I also had a cup of chamomile tea toward the end of my day. I slept soundly until 11:00 when I woke up for a second, and then didn’t get up until 1:00.

AHI score was up a bit but still under 5. Sometimes I feel like I don't have the mask inserted in my nostrils properly, but it always says I have a good mask seal, and I don't usually lose more than 5L of air. The pressure has been a little higher than I've seen it, though, at 11.5. So the chin strap is continuing to do a good job of preventing leaks, as long as I'm not on my back which is my least favorite position anyway.

Fragments still remain a problem, though. A little research said they should lessen over the next couple of months. It said that being tired a month into CPAP treatment is common and that I should be a little surprised if I'm not better in early July. If I'm still tired in early August, that's my red flag.

I really have a bad feeling about this. I really do. I fear more than ever that I do indeed have chronic fatigue. If I don't, then it's likely connected to the frags. The question is how to stop them if they don’t on their own. It said, though, that my brain and body are still adjusting to treatment and reminded me that I had years of sleep debt.

I really hope I'm just being unrealistically pessimistic, but unfortunately, I have a knack for sensing these things. I'm psychic, I'm intuitive, and it's my own body we're talking about here. I'm not trying to guess or get a sense of someone else.

It still feels like one big curse on me. Something has been determined to use my mind and body against me for the last 11 years, and it's like it just doesn't want me to have any energy. Sure, I would be limited as to what I could do due to money, but I could still do a lot more if I had the energy. Maybe I’ll be miraculously and marvelously surprised by being wrong and I'll gradually get more and more energy. I would settle for 20 good days a month if I couldn't be good every day — and hey, no one's good every day, right? So yeah, I would settle for 20 good days, with the rest being moderate, and one, maybe two days of heavy fatigue.

We went out to Publix yesterday so I could pick up my prescription and get a couple of post-lab treats. The plan was to indulge in some chocolate chip cookies, a caramel candy bar, and then coffee ice cream the next time we do a Walmart order, and then I will jump back on my sugar-free plan. I'm also going to slowly morph into a healthier and better-balanced diet with fewer calories, little by little.

So far, though, while I haven’t noticed a huge difference in energy levels, my blood pressure is definitely better. I didn’t realize just how much sleep apnea affected that.

Okay, it's almost 3:00 a.m. now, and I’ve been in bed ever since getting up at 1:00. Time to get up and get moving. I gotta shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, and start guzzling lots of water so it will help with the hunger and the vampire being able to find a vein easily enough.

I'm sure the rat is eager to see me too. I can just picture her bouncing up and down at her door, LOL.