What would I tell my younger self? Such a popular journal prompt. I would definitely tell my younger self that people don't change, and I shouldn't be forgiving. It almost embarrasses me to think that, as late as in my 50s, I believed that if I simply explained to someone what they did to offend me, I could expect them to listen, understand, and not do it again.

Anyway, I wish every day could be like today. Not only do I have good energy, but after the dream I had, I knew it was going to be a good day. 

I slept with the nasal pillow and tape for the first 4 hours or so. But then, when the leaks started getting to me, I took it off and inserted the nasal dilator. Again, my sleep was less fragmented, and I didn’t have the foot cramp I had yesterday that I shouldn’t have had because of all I drink.

First, I dreamed that I was in an exam room. A doctor entered the room, and Alyssa was following close behind. I wondered if she recognized me, but I didn’t want to say who I was. She seemed hesitant to explain to the doctor why she needed to be seen. I was just about to say I would wait out in the hall when she started talking.

Then I dreamed that I got a phone call informing me that I won a house in Florida. Only we were still in California, and he was still working. I told the woman that I’d love to have a house in Florida, but we couldn’t just pull up stakes in just a few days. I ran to get Tom, but I couldn’t find him anywhere in the house. Then I heard the shower running and hoped he would be out soon. While I was waiting, I asked the woman how big it was, and she told me it was over 1200 square feet. Still a bit small, but bigger than this.

I woke up feeling like it was a sign of good news to come. And sure enough, that cataract surgery we thought was going to cost close to a grand is only going to be $25! Not only that, but it’s to be done at the end of the month. There will be three different eye drops he’ll have to take, which will also be free. As if me not driving is bad enough, I’m going to have to sleep during that time. He assures me it’s fine and that he’ll take advantage of the free rides he’s going to get. I know it’s out of my hands, but I still feel bad anyway.

Sure makes me shake my head at a Facebook reel I saw that says that before we’re born, we pick our family and our struggles. No one chooses to be poor, someone said in the comment section. No shit! Nor do they choose negative, neglectful mean bitches like my mother was, or health issues, including a couple of nasty sleep disorders. No one wants to have to take a thyroid medication they’re sensitive to and that can make them very anxious. No one chooses to have the horrible neighbors we once had, or the shit some of them did to us.

In the end, it was a great day overall. Wish it could be like this more often. Instead, my energy levels—and therefore my moods—are still rather bipolar. In other words, I’ll be tired tomorrow. Going to try a drink they say helps with fatigue this weekend when we order groceries. It’s maca powder.