Satish is nice, but he sure is an idiot. Really, stupid! He was here with a clipboard yesterday, consulting with Say about how many more rooms she had left (I guess he’s the boss of the housekeepers at times), then he showed me a way to check for rentals on Yahoo which he insisted weren’t all owned by management companies. Yet all the ones I could find within our price range were indeed owned by companies. Or at least run by them.

He says he wants to really take his time searching for a new house, despite the continuing price drop because he wants a place to stay permanently in. Let me guess, he’ll be able to find the perfect place and we won’t. No, we’ll keep rental-hopping from one rowdy dump to another. Right? Right, God? We’re not deserving of finding the right place to stay forever. Only other people are.

Tom said he saw a couple of shady characters the other day on the 2nd floor trying doors. I never heard ours rattle, so I guess they didn’t get as far as the 3rd floor.

Tom had a sinus headache yesterday at work so intense he nearly left to lay down in the truck since he wouldn’t have been able to drive with it. Hey God, I thought I was his sacrifice. Take it out on me if one of us must have physical problems!

Each day that passes without hearing from Nancy or getting the check raises my fears of us being the victims of a cruel publicity stunt. The main reason for having sweeps is to draw attention to your company. But people are stupid. So much so that they obviously forgot to consider the fact that not delivering prizes would only bring them negative publicity. As I’ve told Tom, he’s been too soft with Nancy. Sometimes being harsh and really putting your foot down with these assholes is the only way to get results. That’s the way it was with Simple Green. So we’ve agreed that he can waste one more email on her on Friday, then I’ll take a shot at her next week and make my threats without actually threatening, and let them know that I’m not only getting pissed but that it’s in everyone’s best interest if they stop wasting time and send the prize now. This implies a lot of possibilities.

Meanwhile, I would sure love to know what other winners are doing and how they’re handling the delays and excuses.

I’d also love to know why God wants us to remain in this room so badly. Why is it so damn important to Him? It’s not like we can live wherever we want anyway. I know we’re not allowed to live in peace. In fact, I’m willing to deliberately concentrate on an old dumpy place in a rundown neighborhood that is noisy enough not to steal much of my sleep, but enough of my peace when I’m awake. That way I know the risk of losing it would be low.

We’re still doing what we do best – waiting for nothing to happen. I hope this week (what’s left of it) won’t be another “nothing” week, but we’ll see. I have a little bit better feeling for this week than I did for last week. Maybe that’s because we have a little more money now and will finally be getting a decent paycheck with some overtime on it this Friday. Yeah, God denied my request to spare us from having to pawn the TV, but at least we’ll only have to pay interest of $35, instead of the $50 or more I thought we’d have to pay, and we have 130 days. We decided to let the camera go too, since they now have better ones for much less. I just hope God will care enough about us to let us have a place to live! And real soon, too! I tell you, some of our old problems would be a blessing to have over the stress and problems we’ve been dealing with. I’d gladly bitch about barking dogs just to have a home, rather than live in the fear of going hungry, homeless or worse.

I had a slight vibe on a small white car, plus something about March 10th. Other than that, yesterday sure ended better than it began. I was so stressed out, worrying that we wouldn’t get enough money for the TV, even though common sense told me we would. High-def TVs are still pretty pricey, and so it’s not like people are going to have them to pawn them regularly. It was still so stressful waiting till we actually pawned it because we still needed to pay for storage, the rest of the week here, get some food, gas, that sort of thing. Anyway, they offered either $150 or $225, and we took the $225. We could’ve gotten by on $150 if we really cut back on the groceries and waited till the weekend to pay for storage, but we decided it’d be best to give ourselves some extra cushion there. It was nice to get lotion, ibuprofen and those little things so many folks take for granted that make life a little more comfortable. It still pisses me off, though, to have to be pawning shit. And so late in life too, and as hard as we work. The more I learn about pawn shops, though, the more I can see that some things would be good to get there. You can get a really good deal on stereos there.

It’s “black history” month when the blacks all come out and try to convince us how wonderful they are. Thank God February’s the shortest month of the year!

Michelle has been kind enough to give us housekeeping every Wednesday that we’re still stuck here, even if we have to book the room in twos. Normally, you’re not supposed to get any service without booking for at least a whole week. Prasaad is the name of that Indian chick I don’t like as much as the others, though I don’t know how it’s pronounced. She did the room last time around and seemed pleasant enough.

When I went down to give her a letter to mail, I asked if she signed up with Netwinner and she said she just moved and still hasn’t got any internet access yet.

She also got quite a haircut, too. Before it was just below her waist and now it’s barely to the middle of her back.

We’ve been having some nice afternoons and even hit 70º a few days ago. This week, however, is to be rainy. We’re so close to the foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains, that Tom can sometimes see snow on some of the vehicles that have come down from the mountains that haven’t had time to melt off. That’s how close we are to the evil crap.

My second cold is just about over. Now I just have to hope I don’t get a third one!

I’ve been feeling rather shitty, thanks to whatever has us trapped in this room. That’s part of it. See, I begged God to take it out on me and make me sick in order to spare Tom the misery of allergies if need be, so now I have a cold all over again, although this one’s easier. I’ve had more colds in the last year than in the last 12 years altogether! At first I was worried because while He was quick to let me be a sacrifice since we’ve always got to have something going on, He neglected to ease up on Tom’s allergies at first, but they’re now starting to get much better.

Since we very well could end up forced to pawn the TV, I’m almost embarrassed I praised God to my folks and urged them to pray, telling them it’d make things run smoother. Why has He answered most prayers, but not my pleas to be let out of this room? I’m constantly reminded of that line in that old Eagles song Hotel California where they say, “You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.” It’s getting harder to pray to anything that would want us to be wrung through the wringer like this month after month. Why would God want us to suffer and live poorly? Why wouldn’t He have our best interests at heart? Same reason He doesn’t give a damn about millions of others with shitty lives, I suppose. Really, though, poverty is one hard life! The thought of scraping pennies for the rest of my life is enough to make me wonder if life is even worth living. Not being able to get the things you want is one thing, but having to pawn this and sell that just to survive is another. I actually miss some of our old problems. At least then our lives weren’t on the line. Not like they have been anyway. We could’ve been killed in Oregon, yes, but last October was no comparison. If I hadn’t remembered those phone numbers, or if my folks had refused to help us, we’d definitely be dead. I don’t see any other way we could’ve survived. Tom would’ve survived if he’d been by himself, but he wasn’t and he never will be.

Of course, a part of me still wonders if we haven’t been granted a reprieve, but just a little extension. Maybe what happened only happened to reunite my folks and I so that they could be notified of our impending deaths, and have our stuff. Maybe they would want to read the journals and stories after all, which is hard to believe. The drama queen would at least want the journals, but I highly doubt any of them would want the stories.

Last night I was so panicky, wondering if we’d ever live to see any of the money I’ve won, and we still may not as there are a million things that could go wrong along the way. But as Tom pointed out, and even though stranger things have happened, it’s hard to believe they would all let us down and fail to come through. Yeah, they probably will come through, but the question is when? How much more suffering will we have to do in the meantime?

So anyway, I was all bummed out when the check wasn’t at the mail place when he checked on Wednesday. Then, just as Tom was falling asleep, he swore he had a vibe about it being sent today, which means it would arrive Tuesday since Monday’s President’s Day (at least he’s been with the company long enough to get paid for this holiday whether he works it or not). What’s got us wondering if he may be turning psychic himself is because of the Netwinner dream that sort of came true. He emailed Nancy yesterday and she said she’d contact Rhino to see what was up, so hopefully – hopefully – she’ll email us today to say it’s been sent!

Best Buy finally admitted they were not going to have that printer, so they canceled the order. I don’t know if we’ll just get new ink for the inkjets we have, or get another new laser. If we live to escape this room, then I’m sure we’d do both at some point.

Another weekend he won’t be able to gamble, and again, is it because something’s trying to keep us from money we’d inevitably make? Or is it trying to tell us, “Hey, there’s no money for you here? Don’t waste your time.”

Even though we don’t qualify for housekeeping this week cuz it was cheaper to book the room in twos, Michelle was kind enough to put us on for today. I hope it’s Kissum, the motormouth since I’ve gotten used to her.

Speaking of Netwinner, I am sooo pissed at them! They cut us to just 100 spins per day on the money wheel and just 10 Banko cards. First it was unlimited spins, then 800 spins and 30 Bankos, now it’s just 100 spins and 10 Bankos. What comes next, 50 spins and 5 Bankos? Obviously, they need to save money, though I don’t know why. They’ve got their jackpot odds set high enough to keep people from ever hitting it. They’ve also taken down their forums. Guess they got tired of people bitching about how long they take to fulfill prizes, and all the damn changes they constantly gotta go and make.

Anyway, we’ve got one account in my name and two in his to help make up for the cutback.

Tom’s allergies are still bad. He’s pretty sure it’s something that’s starting to bloom as a lot of trees have started to bud around here. At least they’re letting him work an hour overtime in the mornings.

Another day of sitting in this room waiting. There’s no reason the check shouldn’t be there tomorrow, from a logical standpoint, but from God’s standpoint, I can almost guarantee that it won’t be. Of all the prayers He’s answered, and there have been quite a few, He just won’t budge when it comes to getting out of places we don’t want to be in. I asked for the apartment upon coming here. The answer was no. I asked for Satish’s house. The answer was no. So obviously we’re right where He wants us and where we’re meant to be. The question is how to escape, and how to do it before another crisis hits. Just how do you defy God, go against Him, and beat Him in the end? And all without being punished for it?

I hope the people that checked into the end room at 10:00 last night stay as quiet as they have been, because judging by the way they had to use the dolly to haul their stuff up here, they’re not going anywhere soon. Seems like they crashed pretty much as soon as they got in.

Will the dolly be needed at room 338 soon enough? God, I hope so!

I also hope Tom and I both don’t end up with the same allergy attacks I had in Phoenix. He had one all day at work where they’re back to the 2nd shift bullshit. Now it’s March 3rd this is supposed to happen.

Meanwhile, all I can do is hope we survive until the check gets here. This is really scary, you know? Always having to wonder if we’ll make it. It seems the problems I had before the turn of the century weren’t nearly as bad. They were bad, but still, my worst problems as an adult were noise, being stuck where I didn’t want to be, not being able to have things I wanted, and some health problems. But when we first went to Oregon, as well as for the last half a year, I’ve had to literally fear for my life at times. I wasn’t even this scared when I used to have those ferocious asthma attacks. Yet right now, until and if we ever do obtain a more secure life, there are a million things that could easily go wrong. Things that wouldn’t simply “inconvenience” us.

One way or another, we are going to take $20 to gamble this weekend and see if my dream means anything.

Things are really shitty right now. Not as shitty as in October, but shitty enough, and it’s all over being just a lousy $100 short.

We’ve been hungry and losing weight again. I like how it makes rocking easier, but it’s totally no wonder most older folks are fat! Diets work, yes, but the people can’t stick to them cuz it makes them feel like shit. I just can’t cut it on diets like I could when I was younger. They just make me feel totally rundown.

The storage people said we may as well hang onto our money for now and just pay the $15 late fee (at least it’s not $50 or more) because even if we pay them in installments, we’d still have to pay the late fee.

For the millionth time I have to ask, are we always going to live our lives in poverty? Are money and noise forever an issue for us??? Is there really no escape? Well, each year that it’s the same old, same old, the answer gets more and more dismally obvious. I don’t know how much longer I can go on this way. I do not want to live another 40 years in misery, always scraping pennies and dealing with neighbor’s shit! This idea totally saps my will to live. What’s the point of winning all this money if we can’t have it when we need it? I don’t want to end up forced to die in a motel room, either. Tom says worst-case scenario we sell or pawn the TV, and hey, why not? I can’t seem to have anything I win anyway. I just won a satellite radio, though with no subscription, and although it’s only worth a couple hundred, I’m sure we’ll lose that, too.

Nancy responded to Tom’s email yesterday and said that last she knew the check would be sent “shortly.” But shortly could mean a few weeks or more, unfortunately, and I’m still weeks away from the $500 writing check from Clorox, plus the $200 Netwinner owes me, and they’ve cut just about all Tom’s overtime at work. For now, our stuff is unpaid for, we’re hungry and totally worn out. I told Jessie, whose new job sucks so much that it’s affecting her home life and she dreads going to work worse than before, to just be glad she has the security of a roof over her head and food to eat!

I also told her she can hug herself for getting me to see something I didn’t see before. That it’s the damn motel that’s holding us back, not the place itself. It’s like trying to kick someone’s ass while restrained in a body bag. I was beginning to worry that something was punishing me for trying to chase a dream and that it was the state, not the motel.

Renting is the least of our concerns, I told Jes. Sure we’d rather own, but if we could have a secure place without a lot of noise, we’d rent all our lives if we had to. If we survive to get the check, we’re still going to aim for a rental first, but if no one will take us, we’ll get a trailer. While the trailer would save us a ton of money, I’d really hate to be cramped into such confined spaces, and it may be noisier at a campground. Especially during the summer. But like I said, if my whole future is basically going to be what it is in the present, I don’t know that I want to live at all, period. Take the end room, for example, I think it’s empty right now, but just what is it with that room lately having to come and go so damn much of the time? The inner room doesn’t usually do that. So what’s up with the end room? Why is it that every 2-3 guests in there end up so obnoxious if not, really damn close to it?

If I, or we, are going to kill ourselves to escape this never-ending cycle of bullshit, we’d definitely want to do it on our own terms. As in a bathroom of a rental or in a trailer, not a motel. But if we can’t live the way we want to, who says we can die the way we want to?

Tom said what’s got him so excited about all the money we’re waiting on is that for once it’s enough. In the past, it’d never be enough. The money from the Phoenix house was more than we expected, but not enough. The money from Maricopa, not enough. The money coming down here, still not enough.

Tom feels sure I’d be having nightmares warning of impending disaster if we were headed that way, but it’s still been very stressful and depressing. It’s like God doesn’t want me to eat, sleep or have a place to live, and I’m rapidly losing the faith I’d gained in Him, too.

Meanwhile, we redid the spell we did at the duplex. Hopefully, it’ll kick in again for us really soon and make our lives a little easier for a change, cuz it’s been terrible since coming here and the bamboo is obviously not as powerful as I gave it credit for unless things would’ve been even worse had we not taken them, which we can never know, nor do I want to know. I totally regret coming here. Not cuz I hate it here, but cuz of how rough it’s been. Yet neither of us ever wants to return to Oregon.

Spring is trying to nudge its way into this area. Wish we had a decent place to enjoy it without all the stress. I still feel out of sorts today, and Tom says it’s just because I’m getting over being sick (and that the sneezing was indeed connected to the cold). That may be part of it, but I think most of it is knowing that check could be weeks, even months away. Nancy completely blew off his last email about it. Guess she and the people that are actually going to cut the check have run out of excuses as to why they just can’t put the damn thing in the mail and send it to us. They forgot one, though. The one where someone dies, be it for real or not. What about that one? Isn’t the death of a family member one of the standard excuses?

Last night I dreamt telling Andy, as he drove up to a house we were in for a visit, that Tom still says we’re going to get rich, and Andy said, “Yes, you are,” matter of factly. This was before I was telling him about the “surprise pregnancy” and the child we gave up.

Tom said while he’d never take all my dreams literally, at least they’ve been positive. True, but I don’t feel very hopeful and positive right now. I feel hopelessly trapped in this room. We may have to pawn more stuff just to eat next week.

This isn’t Africa! We’re not strung out on coke or lazy! We work hard, so what are we doing in poverty??? Why are we any less deserving of a normal life and a decent place to live than anyone else???

I just wish I knew why God has answered all my prayers but the one about the check arriving and letting us get out of this room! Even the weight one finally seems to have been answered. At first I prayed for the willpower to lose a little weight, but that never happened. So then I asked, in spite of my lack of willpower, that he speed up my metabolism. Well, I’ve still been eating, I haven’t exercised in over a week due to feeling lousy, yet I’m down a bit.

Anyway, perhaps it’s time to change my prayers from “Please let us find a peaceful place to live,” to, “Please let me learn to accept never living where I want to live.”

Right now I am so, so depressed. The check still hasn’t come, and thanks to my worthless spells and being cooped up in such tight quarters, I still feel sick. Mostly because my head is clogged. I’m no longer coughing or sneezing or with a scratchy throat, though.

Anyway, something wants us trapped in this room, but why? Why, why, why??? Is it because it’s the last place I want to be? Because it’s so expensive? Tinkerbell’s spirit trying to hold us back? I don’t think she’d do such a thing, though, so the only reason I can think of as to why it’s got us stuck here is to keep us broke and unhappy. Who wants to live in a motel they can barely afford? Now we may very well have to pawn the TV I won just to get by. The thought of the rest of our lives being nothing but living in poverty and chaos makes me really want to beat my head into the wall at times! And worse. Hell, we haven’t even had our own washer/dryer for the last 4 years! Even a simple, ordinary everyday thing like that would be quite a luxury for us! I totally feel destined to be the underdog forever at times! We work so hard yet just can’t seem to get ahead. Right now we don’t even have the $20 to test the latest horse program.

It’s days like this where I’d tell you, forget everything I said about God, He doesn’t give a damn. I’ve prayed many times for this check to be there to no avail. Why would He want us to suffer like this??? All we want is a simple rental of around $800 a month that’s closer to wherever he’s to be working for as long as he has to work for someone else. Why are the simplest things so much to ask for at times???

We really need to get a new vehicle before he gets pulled over too, though he’s had cops behind him before, like today, and they haven’t pulled him over, and there seems to be a surprising amount of cars running around with expired plates as it is. There are an awful lot of laws that don’t get enforced. Just cuz there are freedom of speech laws doesn’t mean you can say what you want. Well, just cuz you’re not supposed to drive around with expired plates doesn’t mean you can’t, but we’d really rather not!

There’s Operation Third Horse, as I’ve dubbed it, which only does the horse that comes in third, and only on the western tracks. He’s also been working on Operation Every Horse, which does superfectas all over the country, but I’m so afraid it’s just another tease on us. And my dream too, where he won 2K, though I rarely have dreams like that for nothing. Even he believes it means something good.

He dreamt that instead of doing the quick pick on Netwinner, he picked all 6s and hit the jackpot. Well, he didn’t hit that, but he got 500 points.

Yeah, he’s been having some weird dreams, too. After racking his brains out trying to figure out how to be able to win on better-paying bets anywhere, he dreamt of a way to do it, tried it when he woke up, and it seems to work so far.

Either way, I’m so afraid we’re just not meant to make it here. I totally regret leaving Oregon at this point, totally! All that’s been better here is the weather. It was too cold and he hated his job, but we had a whole lot more security and peace of mind in that old, tilted little dump. I’m so, so sorry we gave it all up! But there’s no turning back now, so we’re either going to make it someday, someway, or we’re going to get fed up enough with the same old never-ending cycle of bullshit and get out of this crazy world.

Other than that, I thinned my hair some more to get the weight off, and they changed his hours to 9:00-5:00. This would allow him to place more bets before work if we could ever get to that point, but it’s still a sucky job with sucky people and sucky pay.

Another week of hopefully not the same old, same old bullshit of getting nowhere. As in no check and as in late fees for not paying for storage on time. He says they can’t do anything for weeks, but if anyone knows about laws that are never enforced, it’s me. Just because we have laws saying we have the right to free speech doesn’t mean we can say anything we want. So just because they say one thing doesn’t mean they might not do another. We’ll just have to wait and see and hope for the best.

I did have a dream that Tom gambled and gave “Operation Third Horse,” as I’ve dubbed it, its first real run, and won two grand. The only problem with Operation Third Horse, though, is that it only works at limited tracks, so he’s been trying to work the program to be more flexible. OTH is just for Western tracks so far.

I don’t know, it’s still hard to imagine us with money. Do people really change fates midlife like they sometimes change careers? Our having money seems to go against everything God’s set up for us so far and totally defeats the purpose of the schedule curse. Once again, that was to stunt us financially and help keep us from living where we want, so why now, all of a sudden, would He grant us money?

I could smell the stench of pot in the bathroom earlier. The bathrooms are connected by vents in fours. No one’s on either side of us right now, but some chick on the other side was obviously getting high and squealing with delight over the Superbowl. Thank God no one was next to us tonight!

I wish we could be on the other side. That way the sounds of the highway would be sort of like another sound machine, and people would be less tempted to blast stereos there since the office is on that side. See, we can’t even be where we want to be within where we don’t want to be. Just like at the duplex and other places.

I just want to get out of this place altogether! And I don’t want to be struggling in some chaotic dump anywhere either, but like I said, at this point I’ll take a dumpy place that isn’t exactly spacious or peaceful over this or an apartment and even over a trailer.

Right now I’m so depressed, frustrated and just feeling lousy in general. The check still hasn’t come and I’m feeling more and more trapped and hopeless. My cold has left me feeling pretty shitty, and I’m having an allergy attack I fear is not related to my cold. This is the third time I’ve had sneezing fits since we’ve been down here. I’m afraid it’s going to get more and more frequent and that I’ll have attacks like I did in Phoenix.

I’m so worried that it will not only be weeks before we get the check but that the money will run out before we can either get a house or a trailer, leaving us stuck here even longer.

It’s times like this that make me wonder if I should bother praying. Perhaps as long as I didn’t cuss God out, the prayers that were granted would’ve been granted anyway. Maybe my prayers had nothing to do with it.

If God really has a “plan” for us, then why does He want us trapped here? It’s obviously important to Him that we be here for some reason, but what is it? It can’t be because I like Michelle, because even if that were entirely mutual, a fling with another woman is the last thing God would ever want for me. He’s never wanted me with another woman, and the idea of sex in general just doesn’t excite me like it does when we’re younger, so that brings me to the only other possible reason I can think of, and it’s not a good one. If I’m right, God is anything but our friend! I hope I’m wrong on this one, but could it be because it’s the last choice on my list? My first choice would obviously be a house. Runner-up to that would be a trailer. Next would be an apartment. An apartment would be noisier than a motel, but we could have our stuff, more space, and not have the hassles of housekeepers. A motel would be my absolute last choice. So is that why we’re here? Is that why we’re really here??? Like I said, I hope not! Yet I can’t help but feel like I’m being punished for trying to chase another dream. Our lives have sucked since coming here, making me have a lot of things I feel sorry about. I’m sorry we didn’t stay in Phoenix, take the security and put up with the freeloader’s shit. I’m sorry Maricopa didn’t work out. I’m sorry Oregon was too cold and that he hated his job.

Tom thinks I only got the two colds I’ve had since being here and the one on the cruise because we were in such confined spaces when he got sick first, then gave it to me. He also thinks the check will come this week and that we’ll get a house, but you know him, always thinks things will work out. But they never do. At least they haven’t yet.

I’m pissed that we can’t even afford to gamble and test out his latest development, but at the same time, I’m not stupid. I know it’s just another tease on us. Everybody’s different, but with me, the longer something’s been a certain way, the more likely it is to stay that way, and well, I’ve struggled financially for most of my adult life, so it’s awfully hard to believe that could ever change.

I worry that God only let me win this money because he knows they’re going to maybe fire Tom, or have some other crises arise that’ll steal most of it before we can get a place. Hell, I’d take the rowdiest tooth house at this point! I’m not allowed to live in peace anyway, so why not? It’s all I know and it’s what’s familiar to me, so I have no problem at this point with living on someone else’s driveway and with their dogs and music if it’s going to get us into a cheaper place with more than one room and all our stuff.

I also worry I’m not going to be able to survive another 40 years or so of poverty and chaos!

After 3 months of waiting, we finally got that ecard from Netwinner. Tom was really close to having to call into work because he couldn’t buy more gas. It really is humiliating to be going through such struggles this late in life. Some things just never change! As it is, we may have to break up our storage payments this month, but Tom says they’re nice people and that he doubts they’ll have a problem with him paying half of it tomorrow and the other half next week. I hope he’s right so we don’t have to pawn anything!

I still can’t believe I ran into that corrupt, lying little pig in cyberspace before we moved! I was curious and went to look up that real estate site, but was unable to find it, to my surprise. It made me wonder if perhaps Tom was right when he said something about pigs not being allowed to publicize their pictures with non-police-related things. But I know that smug little face. It was him. Unless he’s got a twin with the same name or a cousin that sure looks like a twin, it was him.

Would God actually allow me to do that? To tear down whatever he may’ve had going on the side, and actually screw over a perp for once? Wow, what a change that would be if that’s truly the case because if it is, that’d have to hurt! If he was into real estate to make money on the side (unless the corrupto was kicked off the force altogether), and he had to bail out in case of another showdown with me that may’ve exposed him, then he’s got to be unbelievably pissed. I hope he is too, so he can know what that fury’s like, though nothing I could ever inconvenience him with could ever compare to the rage I felt thanks to him, the whacked blacks, the manic Hispanics, the public defender and the judge.

I still can’t believe all the media attention the case got, and all for a letter. It’s amazing the huge mountains people can make out of such tiny little molehills, and it’s amazing how something so stupid and trivial can get the kind of attention celebrities and murderers get.

Tom’s over his cold now, and although I never really did feel sick, I did get a sore, scratchy throat and a cough. What is it with my immunity spells lately anyway? Is it just because we’ve had to be in the same room so much of the time?

For about two weeks now, we’ve had no one in the inside room, but we had a quiet one-nighter in the end room a couple of nights ago, then someone checked in a few hours ago over there. They’ve been doing what most people do best so far, coming and going too often, blasting the TV, etc. At least it’s just one person, from what we can tell.

I’ve really come to like Michelle, who works days in the office. She’s huger than hell and very plain-faced, but she sure has pretty long red hair. It’s just below her waist and mine is now to the middle of my ass when it’s not pulled straight. Michelle may not be the prettiest thing, but she sure is nice. I ran down and gave her Netwinner’s address and my email address yesterday before Kissum, the bus stop housekeeper who talks non-stop, came to do the room.

I see Satish around here every now and then, too. Also, I met this guy in the elevator who mentioned his friend Carol having a house for rent in Folsom. Well, it must be as quiet as Satish’s place cuz I haven’t heard from her, even though I gave him my email address to pass along to her.

Anyway, I was wrong in assuming Michelle likes me unless she’s been really busy. She never registered with Netwinner, nor has she emailed me. So unless she’s been busy, wouldn’t you register and even email the person if you liked them? Could be a case of not wanting to mix business with pleasure. Or maybe she had trouble registering, but if she did, shouldn’t she have emailed me to say so? I don’t know, maybe she’s just waiting till she sees me again to tell me what happened, but she definitely doesn’t have a thing for me. When you like someone, you’ll use any excuse you can to make contact with them, whether or not you’re taken or they’re taken, and you’ll take advantage of any means available to you, too. Just like I used to tell Tom regarding sex; if he really wanted it, he’d have gotten it.

I got a letter from Mary. They moved her to a smaller dorm that has more beds, there are fights every day, she has no idea what’s going on with her case, and has been very stressed out. Her shit of a mother is trying to convince her to let Derek teach her to drive, but as she’s finally starting to see, reuniting with those who have abused her is definitely not a good idea. With the way her mother and Derek have abused her, I don’t see how they could possibly make suitable “parents” for her son Murphy. Then again, we don’t always treat everybody the same. Let’s hope that’s the case for Murphy’s sake.

The weekend turned out to be a shitty one. Tom’s been sick, so his coughing and sneezing have really disrupted my sleep big time, but it’s now going on just over a week since we’ve had any neighbors! It’s been deader than usual around here, though I’d like to think I can credit Michelle with having something to do with trying to keep people away from us, too.

It also sucks that none of the money I won was at the mail place the last time we were there, plus we had to pay so much to fax and overnight stuff that it left us too broke to gamble and test his new program, and we can’t tell what would’ve happened because you have to pay for the racing results. Now that we have to play “poor bum” again we may have to pawn the TV just to pay the rent at the storage place next week. Story of our lives, just pawning and pawning our lives away! It’s times like this that make me think I’ve been kidding myself by thinking anything up there gives a damn about us or that we’ll ever get ahead. It really, really stunts my faith in God or anything else. It’s like our only choice is to stay here or go where we don’t want to be, and believe me, I’d really rather not be trailer trash any more than a motel bum or having to live in apartments. Why can’t we live where we want?!?! I just don’t understand why year after year we have to live where we’re unhappy. Why aren’t we deserving of a decent home? I’m still trying to figure out why we’re less deserving than anyone else in that department. We’ve got to have done something along the way not to deserve a decent place to live, but what? What??? I would still prefer a trailer over an apartment, but I’d still hate to be cramped into one, and I still say it would be just as noisy as an apartment overall. I also wouldn’t be able to blast my music there either.

When am I going to learn that while I may win things here and there, even if we have to “pay to win,” we’ll never have money or a nice, peaceful home, so it’s best to just accept it and roll with the punches? Some prayers are simply never to be answered, and of those unanswered prayers of mine, they’re definitely the ones about finding a decent place to live, having a faster metabolism or the willpower to cut my calories, and the horseracing thing working out. He doesn’t want us having money or a nice, quiet place to live. Period. I don’t know why, but I know the facts. I might as well only pray for what I think He may grant me and quit wasting His time and mine on the stuff that obviously will never change, though it really bothers me that we can’t get a little more compensation in our lives. Take my schedule curse, for instance. He did this to me. He’s the one who gave it to me. So why couldn’t he at least compensate me with winning the amount of money I can’t work for? Then again, that’s obvious. So we can’t live where we want to. What better way to make someone struggle and keep them from being where they want to be if you make sure they can’t work in the first place?

When the housekeeper comes on Wednesday (hopefully), I’ll see if Michelle’s on that day. If she is I’ll run down with Netwinner’s address and ask her to register and use me as a referral if she’s interested. I agree with Tom, though, that she doesn’t seem like a computer person so much as a lay-around-and-do-nothing-but-watch-TV kind of person, but we’ll see.

Sure enough, we still don’t have the check. As I told Tom when they offered a cash equivalent before he even got a chance to ask for one, this is too easy so far. Nothing’s ever that quick or easy for us. Whatever’s up there is going to make us have to wait and work for this one. The travel voucher for Italy only came fast because we didn’t care. So now Nancy’s decided they need a W9 form first and said to “give it a couple of weeks.” So this means we could very well spend weeks, maybe even months, right where we’ve been for the last half a year – living like bums in a motel.

Anyway, Tom, who has a cold that he better not pass on to me, said he thinks it’ll be sent next week. Yeah, I’m sure he does. It’s just that he’s naively optimistic and I’m psychic. I doubt we’ll get it before mid-February. At that point, getting a new car will only take a few days, but who knows about a rental? It’ll depend on the horses and just how much freedom God’s willing to give us in that department.

Speaking of the horses, tomorrow he runs his newest test. I’ve just got to remind myself if this is yet another joke that we won’t be any worse off. We’ll be right where we’ve always been – struggling financially and living in wild “tooth” houses when we’re not stuck in motels, duplexes, trailers or apartments.

Thanks to the people who work here being so brain-dead, I was pissed to wait all day on Wednesday for the housekeeper just to have Michelle tell me we were on for Sunday, which of course makes no sense since we’re due to check out Saturday. We usually book Saturday to Saturday. But Michelle was kind enough to let me go down and grab some clean sheets and towels. She took one look at me when I walked in the door and said, “Wow, I didn’t realize how long your hair was,” and I sensed she likes me, even though Tom overheard her mention a trucker boyfriend once. Hey, she’s twice as fat and ugly as I am, so why wouldn’t she like me?! I’m just amazed she can get a guy looking like she does in the first place, the poor girl. She’s all hair and nothing else. Guys are so much pickier about looks than women usually are. She sure is nice, though, and she has nice long red hair.

The people in the end room left Sunday and both rooms next to us were empty till last night. For nearly two hours this morning, there was banging from both rooms, then they left. Hopefully, they’re not coming back either if they’re going to be that bangy.

My parents will soon get a handwritten letter from me, but I’m not sending anything else until we get either the printer that’s on backorder or something else. Besides, I don’t want to give them the wrong idea by writing too often. Sure I’m really grateful to them, but we’re never going to be buddies, so to speak. They’re still people I don’t like.

Tom got a huge chunk of dead skin out of my ear yesterday. No wonder it had been driving me crazy for so long! Ironically enough, though, the dead skin came loose right as I began praying for God to help Tom get it out. I swear, though, if it isn’t my ear, it’s my teeth! When am I ever going to be able to go more than a week in my life pain-free???

After being 3 months late, Netwinner finally sent an email letting me know my debit card was on its way. This one has a support number available 24/7, which is good.

The horseracing thing is still looking promising, according to Tom, and we’re going to test it out for real this weekend. I’m both dreading it and excited at the same time. I dread it because I fear it’s just another tease on us, and I’m excited because the test results he’s done on it have shown serious consistency for a change on higher-paying bets. His main concern is the weather. January’s the worst time for racing.

The people in the end room haven’t turned out to be as wild as I thought they’d be, but it still wouldn’t hurt my feelings if they’d check out. They still come and go enough to be annoying and I can hear the beat of their music over here. As long as it doesn’t override the sound machine, though, then I’ll live with it. I just wish the fucking car stereos that have been picking up lately would back off.

We get to be spared the misery of the nastiest peak of the year! That is Klamath’s winter peak. They’re going to have a few days in the single digits, which even Tom could barely stand.

I managed to open the passcard for the Clorox tip sweep, and sure enough, my tip was the short and sweet tip I thought it’d be. I simply said to “keep up on it and things won’t be so quick to build up.”

The horse thing still looks promising, but as I figured would be the case, there were no wins in yesterday’s mail. The owner there eagerly asked if we needed anything signed and notarized. He no doubt wishes all his customers were sweepers, and will surely miss us once we’re no longer getting our mail there.

Tom said the reason they’re all talk and no action about second shift is that the bosses fear being fired for fucking up lately. I’m not sure what the connection is, but anyway, that’s nothing compared to the HUGE scare he told me he had the night before last. Thank God I slept through this one or else I’d have been freaking out like crazy, and thank God it turned out to be only a 1½-hour nightmare and not an 11-day one! When he went to book the room for a week he got a message saying, “Your request is unavailable at the moment.” He thought it was a bit weird, but he tried again just to get the same message. When he tried the third time he got, “Your card has been declined.” Then it was off to play phone with both the card company and the motel to find out why. He never did find out why, though, and was told it was just a fluke that sometimes happens. It could’ve been because the motel was updating their rooms at that instant, or someone else booked rooms at the same time, but we’re just glad they cared enough to unfreeze the account, unlike the other company, who could care less that their carelessness nearly killed two people. What a nightmare it would’ve been had it been too late to reach them or they too, had taken their sweet time to do something! We’d have been back on the streets indefinitely, with no way to eat or buy gas to get him to and from work. Those damn debit cards can really be scary! This is why we wish Netwinner would hurry the fuck up and send the one they owe us so we can have another card as a backup.

Thanks to the holiday and lack of overtime, along with the schedule curse designed to hold us back financially, this week’s check isn’t very good. So after the room and gas are paid for, there won’t be much left for food, though at 30 pounds overweight, I’d hardly be starving, just feeling a lot of hunger. I’m glad the room’s paid for and gas too, but it pisses me off that we’re still struggling and still stuck in this room all these months later.

Tom’s going to check the mail today, but you never receive money when you need it, so I know none of the money I won will arrive this week. Well, I’m determined never to be reduced to having to pawn another thing again in my life if I can help it! I’d rather go hungry all week.

They’re continuing to play with his head at work about second shift. The last time they said that was to happen was next Monday, but now they want to wait another two weeks. Always two more weeks, just two more! The question is why they’re doing this. Just what are they getting out of it?

Even though I didn’t get up till midnight, it was obvious to see that we’ve got a repeat performance of a couple of weeks ago next door in the end room. They haven’t blasted the TV yet or fought, but they’re loud, they bang, and they’ve come and go a dozen times between midnight and 2:30. Just when I think they’ve gone to bed, out they come. I’d like to think they’ll sleep all day, but I don’t know about that. Some people just seem to never sleep. And it sucks too, cuz I know they’ll be here for at least a week. So not even getting up at midnight will necessarily guarantee me any peace throughout the wee hours of the night when the rest of the building, or at least some of it, is up right along with me. Was this what the dream with the blacks was warning me about? If they could be that noisy after midnight, it’s going to be a madhouse over there when they get up.

Sometimes I think maybe we should go back to the trailer idea. If we’re not going to be allowed to ever live in peace anyway, maybe we should get a trailer, sell most of our shit, and have the rent be $400 instead of $1400.

Hey, do you think I’m a good writer? Good enough to get paid for it? Clorox thought so! I won $500 from Clorox’s Clean Tips for a Healthier Home Contest plus a year’s supply of Clorox Disinfecting Wipes. My tip may be featured in an on-air tip by The Accidental Housewife, too. Not bad, huh? The funny thing is that I can’t remember the tip! I’m pretty sure it was something along the lines of keeping up with your cleaning regularly so dirt and dust don’t have a chance to really build up. I found the sweep, but couldn’t open the entry form to see what my Robo passcard had stored for it, since it was a daily. The form was taken down when the sweep ended. It only ran for a month and was a premium sweep, of course, but only a 1½ star since most folks hate to write. Anyway, it’s the first time my writing ability has made me any money! And no doubt way more than I could have ever gotten if that gay publishing company had published my books.

Today’s our day for housekeeping this week. Will they remember us this time around? I’ve been up since 7:00 last night, so I may call down right before 9:00 and have them do this room first. Or maybe I’ll wait till they come by at their usual time between 10:00-1:00. I’ll just see how I feel.

We’re going on the third day of having no one in the inside room (I think), but someone with a baby checked into the end room just before midnight last night, so I don’t know if it’ll be very peaceful once they’re up and about. I just hope the kid can’t walk and that it doesn’t go screaming on its way in and out. That’d surely override the sound machine and earplug when I finally do crash either late this morning or early this afternoon. Most people stay here a couple of days to a week, and even that can be an eternity with the wrong neighbor. The worst ones are the ones who are here all day and who know people in the area. Knowing the locals means having to deal with their company, too. I’d bet almost anything that fat tub of shit we had to ring the new year in with got evicted from wherever, no one would take her, and so she had to stay here till she could get someplace else. And if she was the freeloader I suspect she was, someone else would be quick to give her another place. We could’ve gotten rid of her a day sooner had it not been for that appliance issue I heard her mention during one of the many phone calls that had to take place outside our door.

I’m so tired of living with all these damn people! We did not come here for this. We just want a place of our own where we don’t have to hear from others. It’ll never happen, though. Never happen. Life is so what we don’t plan it to be! We agreed to see if we could get right into a house once we get the money I won, but I know we’ll be stuck with the hassle and inconvenience of being cramped into a trailer first, even if having a trailer may still be a good thing, just because a house is what I want. Believe me, I’m so sick of all the thumps, thunks, bumps and bangs in this place that I’m even ready to settle for a tooth house if that’s all we can get. But regardless of where we’re destined to end up if we live to escape this damn room, I doubt the check will arrive soon and that we’ll be able to cash it without any problems, cuz nothing’s ever that easy for us.

Neither is losing weight, though I have lost a little. My best guess without having a scale is that I’m down to the upper 120s. I don’t expect to lose much more, though, since I still don’t have the willpower to cut my cals low enough.

If I were naive I’d call this good news, but as someone who knows better, I’ll call it exactly what it appears to be – too good to be true. Even Tom agrees it seems that way, yet despite how many times he checked it out, it still told him the same thing and that’s that the number 3 horse almost always nearly doubled his money in all the tests he ran on it after getting yet another new idea. Why just the third horse and not those ranking first, second or in another spot, he doesn’t know.

Why oh why can’t this be for real and not some grand tease?! Haven’t we been teased enough? It’d be so awesome if this could not be a joke! We’d be filthy rich in no time! I’ll add it to my prayers and spells, but so far all God’s helped me with is seeing that Tom doesn’t get pulled over by the pigs, not that that’s not something we don’t greatly appreciate because we do! He’s helped with other things too, but not where the horses are concerned, or my lack of willpower in the diet area.

Someone’s up next door showering now. But are they getting up to check out, or to be out all day, or to stay here and blast the TV all day while they fight inside and outside of the room?

Later...

They both just left, and the baby, too. I hope they’ve checked out and that we can have another night or two with no one over there or on the other side. If they’re not coming back, then that will certainly be the shortest stay I’ve ever seen here. Given the time, it seems reasonable that they’ve hit the road to continue on their way to wherever, but they could just be going out for breakfast, and then at least mom and the animal may return for the day while daddy goes off to work if they’re here on some job, or to look for a new place to live if they’re moving, or whatever.

Meanwhile, I’m getting tired, so I’m going to call the office in 15 minutes and see if they’ll do this room first.

Today I didn’t sleep as well, but mostly that was due to Tom having to come and go when doing the laundry. It was noisy, too. I guess the housekeeper cleaned with a vengeance. From what it sounds like, both sides have checked out. I’m surprised they didn’t send a newcomer right up within minutes of their departure.

They remade the old series The Bionic Woman that I used to love in the 70s, but I have no desire to see it. Let me guess – half the characters aren’t white, they have babies every other episode, and all they want to do is discuss politics and loving thy neighbor, right?

Speaking of those who aren’t white, I had had a couple of good “house dreams,” as I refer to them, and even got a good vision of a 3-bedroom house, perhaps 30 years old or so. These were encouraging. What wasn’t so encouraging was the dream I had earlier. I was on what looked like the top floor of an apartment building, near the stairs leading downwards. There were 4 apartments on the floor and I knew that all but ours was currently vacant. Our door was right smack next to another door, while the other two doors stood more off by themselves. A group of loud-mouthed blacks came up the stairs and I was hoping they wouldn’t go to the door next to ours, but sure enough, they did.

Hope that one doesn’t mean anything!

We sure are being spared a lot of misery in Oregon! They’re really getting quite a bit of snow this year.

Tom said he read that the winters in New England are getting shorter, warmer and less snowy. Aw, too bad!

I slept surprisingly well today, even though the housekeeper came and cleaned the end room. Fortunately, our tolerable neighbors haven’t checked out on either side yet.

They finally updated the satellite picture of our old house in Maricopa. Even though there are now 5 rentals in back, one in which half a dozen or more cars were parked, it brought tears to my eyes anyway. I miss the house and having space, just not the lives we had that went with it. Let me guess, the house with all the cars must be a herd of bass-thumping, lazy, freeloading, always-home Mexicans, right? There are no other houses on our land yet, though it looks like they’ve fenced the area around our house. And using our posts that Tom started to put up. They got to do what we never got the chance to do.

We’ve had civilized neighbors on both sides of us for a week now, so I hope they don’t check out anytime soon. Especially since we may not be checking out anytime too soon ourselves. Tom called the woman and was told everything was all set as far as receiving our $9000 check goes, but since she’s not the one in charge of sending it, she couldn’t say when it would be sent. In other words, the sponsors, who are the ones cutting it, may take forever to do so, further trapping us in this little room we never seem to be able to get out of!

And to spoil my night even more, the browser the BOT was created to work in is down, so I’m losing valuable Netwinner time, too.

Everything’s such a waiting game for us! Even the housekeeper put our lives on hold for a while a couple of days ago. We waited and waited and had to call the office to get service because the bus stop housekeeper overlooked us. Thay started to do that once, too. Why won’t these damn foreigners learn to read if they’re not going to go back to their own damn country where they belong? I can see them coming here to escape their fucked up traditions but for opportunity? Well, that’s rather hit or miss, isn’t it? Or else we wouldn’t be stuck in this room for as long as we have been!

Anyway, the bus stop lady confirmed my suspicions, given how long it took her to do the end room when those assholes checked out; they trashed the place. Yeah, fat and filth sure do go hand in hand. I still don’t get why people who are huge and or poor think that automatically means they have to be slobs, but they do, nonetheless.

Tom hurt his back at work and said he felt flushed all day, though not sick. I hope he’ll be ok!

Oh, to be able to own a house outright in a nice peaceful place with him working from home! Or not working at all.

I still pray every day, though it still feels kinda weird. I don’t like the idea of knowing that if I don’t “behave” then God or whatever’s up there, will more or less get me for it. It goes to further my belief that God not only really does play favorites, but He also doesn’t love us all unconditionally either like I would think any good God would. But if praying a few minutes each day is what I have to do in order to keep things running more smoothly, then so be it. It won’t kill me to do so.

But we were nearly killed a few months ago and He just might’ve let it happen had I not turned to Him and that’s still a bit unnerving to know. I had to literally beg for our lives. If I get mad at Him for the things he’s allowed to happen to me, instead of any form of sympathetic compensation to help make up for it, I get punished. This just doesn’t sit right with me, but for reasons I’m sure I’ll never understand, there’s nothing I can do about it either. I hate the idea of “kissing ass,” but if that’s what I’ve got to do to ensure our safety, then oh well. There are worse things to have to do for a little less chaos in our lives.

Since I can’t get online right now, which totally figures, I thought I’d do a quick update. For once it’s all good. We have civilized neighbors, and we’re going to be receiving a cash equivalent to the ATV!!! That’s what the lady wanted to ask.

It definitely rains more here than in Arizona and Oregon. I hope that’s the only reason why I can’t get online and not because something’s going wrong with my antennae!

The assholes on the end finally left. I was getting worried they’d be here forever and that the office wouldn’t toss or move them no matter how much I complained, but they left today, thank God! From what I could hear during one of the many phone conversations that just had to take place outside our door, there was a problem with an appliance (I guess for the apartment she said she was waiting on). This was yesterday. They were just terrible, blasting the TV, slamming doors, banging, shouting, etc. I am just sooo damn cursed with assholes like them! Tom went to the office to get change to do the laundry and Michelle said they checked out and also said they could hear loud music over here. Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me. The fat tub of shit, who reminded me so much of the sicko we lived with in Phoenix, strikes me as just the type to counter-complain, too. I doubt very much they could’ve heard this little tinny speaker over there, and if it was possible to go through these walls, how could they have heard it over the TV blaring all the time?

Anyway, that’s the good news; that they’re gone. However, as soon as the housekeeper cleaned the room, in came someone new. They’ve only been here two hours yet already they’ve slammed in and out half a dozen times. What is it with people?! If that was luggage they were hauling up, then they must not be going anywhere for a while. I mean, that would’ve been a lot of luggage, judging by the number of times I heard that door open and close. I just hope they’re not as bad as the last people and that they give us a break sometime soon enough and stop always putting people next to us! I don’t know if there are just that many more people traveling or if it’s just us they like to sic these people on more and more because we haven’t had any vacancies next to us for about a week now. Most of the people on the inside room have stayed just one night, but the end room usually stays longer, so like I said, I hope these people aren’t as bad!

I’m sick of this shit. Really sick of it! Noise and pain, the story of my life.

We had a huge storm today. It was like a monsoon in winter, only without the thunder and lightning! We had winds of nearly 100 MPH that were whipping the rain against the door despite the roof that sticks way out over the walkway. It was as if someone stood outside hosing the door down. Water seeped in under the door a few inches and the doormats were strewn all over the place outside. The wind was howling so loud that Tom thought animals were fighting when he got up. I don’t see how the housekeepers could’ve worked.

Tom said that the people at work said they’d never seen anything like it, and I guess the storm was even worse there. He said parts of the warehouse were leaking and there were trees everywhere. It really added to the stress of what’s fast becoming a job he hates about as much as his last one. He said the people are not only stupid idiots that make the job harder for him, but abusive to him as well, cussing him out and calling him names. I hate to see him have to put up with it, and I don’t have to bother mentioning just what I’d like to do to these people, but he has no choice at the moment but to live with it. I just worry about him being fired because we know we can’t count on unemployment. I worry about that and the truck and wonder if we’re ever going to settle in somewhere. I feel like we’ve been getting nowhere the whole time we’ve been here! If he could just have a decent job where we’re both insured and a peaceful place to live that’d make life so much easier! Why are the simplest things so hard for us to get???

To make matters worse, there’s definitely not going to be a second shift. I figured as much with the way they’ve been talking and not doing. Sometimes I wonder if he’s become as cursed with jobs as I am with noise. He’s never worked with such mean people before.

Speaking of noise, despite the storm that raged on for over 6 hours, I had to deal with another day of the end room coming and going, blasting the TV, and gabbing on the cell phone right outside our door, but if they don’t leave tomorrow, I’ll just have them tossed. I’ve already complained and they said they’d let them go if they didn’t settle down. They’ve been quieter, though still annoying at times. When I heard her say on the phone that she was homeless, then something about problems with appliances, which I guess are in the apartment she’s supposed to go to tomorrow, I worried that she may not leave tomorrow. She sure will if she’s a problem tomorrow!

Satish, who was here after the second power outage when I thought the heater was broken, said not to hesitate to complain about anyone who’s noisy because they’d rather lose them than have their good guests driven out by them. I guess a woman got kicked out on the other side for door-slamming a few days ago. I remember that too, but thought it was coming from somewhere downstairs. I remember wondering if someone “botted” their door to slam every few minutes. People will do anything to make a racket. Even if it means getting kicked out of place.

I told Satish about the TV and ATV I won and that we planned to get a trailer. He said he was still definitely going to buy a house and that we could rent the one he’s in now, but doesn’t know when. Since there was no guarantee we’d have the same number, we swapped emails so he could see where we were when the time came for him to buy the new house.

Except for the lack of space, I totally look forward to being in a trailer rather than staying here, if we can’t just go straight to a house. Even if we could, though, we both agree that a trailer would be a good thing to have anyway. It would be a great place to experiment with some soundproofing material, too. Even if we did, by some miracle, end up in a quiet place like a retirement community someday, I still wouldn’t want anyone complaining about my own noise like when I blast my stereo.

A woman named Nancy called from the ATV place in Stamford, Connecticut, and left a message. She said she got the paperwork back and had a question, but didn’t ask it in the message. She’d left for the day when Tom called back, but let her know on her machine that he’d call back on Monday. Tom’s going to try for a cash equivalent, but we don’t expect to get it. She probably just wants to know which dealership we’d prefer to go through.

I’m so glad the people in the end room will be checking out on Saturday! If I didn’t hear the big, mean-looking, loud-mouthed bitch over there tell the housekeeper that, I’d be stressing and seriously contemplating calling the office. They’re still letting me sleep, but that’s only cuz I’ve been on days, thank God. But they’re really annoying me while I’m trying to work. The lady never shuts up, they come and go too damn much, they argue both inside and out, and they blast their TV.

She had just returned from paying for another night, telling the housekeeper that her apartment wouldn’t be ready till Saturday. I already feel bad for their neighbor, whoever they are.

The bus stop housekeeper, who’s really not from India like I thought she was, did the room. She’s from Fiji. In the past, she’d never been friendly, but not rude either. Today, however, I guess she decided I’d been here long enough to be friendly because she sure talked up a storm. Mostly just general stuff. She asked if I were alone, where I was from, that sort of thing. I told her we were hoping to get into a house because apartments are too noisy and she said her neighbors in her complex call the cops on her husband cuz he gets too loud when he gets drunk.

Anyway, between next door and someone else banging either room doors or car doors like crazy, I got out my wax earplug, as well as moved the sound machine over to this table. I’ll never live in peace! Never!

Tom checked Netwinner’s source code, and conceivably, they could detect a BOT by the way it clicks in the very same spot all the time, so he adjusted it. We also learned that they finally got their ecard problems ironed out and expect to get everyone’s ecards out in a couple of weeks (only GCs have been received on time), then they’ll be back to their usual timeframe. Hopefully, they’ll learn from this and the next time they try something new they’ll work out the details before presenting it to the people.

Age 42

Quite amazingly, I slept just fine as the new year rang in, even though we have people on the end who aren’t always very quiet. They came in a little bangy, then they were tolerable enough for a while. We could only hear them talking in the bathroom. But then yesterday they played musical doors like crazy. From what Tom could hear, since his recliner is right by their door, they took advantage of some New Year’s bargains they usually have and went shopping.

We’ve also got people on the other side, but they’re a little quieter.

The Armani card came so I ordered 3 tops and a pair of leggings. Hope they fit!

It’s unfortunate that it’s come to this, but I’m just about ready to turn Netwinner over to fraud.org for not fulfilling the $200 the two of us have accumulated in prizes. Like I said, it sucks. I really love the site and the BOT Tom created too, but fun or not, we’re not going to play for free!

The BOT works well, but the sucky thing is that I can’t do other things while it’s running, so I read or jog while it’s running. I still have to keep an eye on it anyway to enter codes.

Barely two days into the year and I’ve already got two wins! There’s a site giving away various beauty supplies over the next few weeks. Starting at 9:00 PT, the first 150 entrants win that day’s prize. I won lotion yesterday and shampoo today. It must be some shampoo too, valued at a whopping $26!