No Formspring abuse. IDK, maybe Maliheh’s been laid up in a hospital somewhere and hasn’t even been online for the last year. I doubt it, though. Whether or not it’s her who asked the “questions,” I’d say she at least got the email and Facebook messages that she knew I wouldn’t know that she got. With MySpace, though, I would know if she got the message. Yet it’s still marked as “unread.”

And today she’ll get one more email and a friend request on FB, LOL. Yeah, I know, I’m bad. I just had to send her a message claiming to have gotten an anonymous message on blogger from her apologizing for the past and the Formspring “questions,” and asking me to write a story with us as main characters, LOL. I “accept” her apology and apologized for calling her 19 years ago, even though it’s hard to be sorry for calling someone that went from sweet and sincere and kissy-kissy and talking about getting together the following Monday, to this mean, cold, rude bitch in less than a day. Still… there was just something about that girl.

I actually started a story too, LOL. Shall I send it to her if I finish it? LOL, I guess I’ll just have to wait and decide that if I do finish it!

Do I still think the questioner was Maliheh? Yeah, I do. I think she stopped once I started accusing her but hasn’t blocked me on Facebook because she wants to hopefully “get” me, just like a certain black bitch down in Arizona would probably love to. Ah, but I’m smart enough not to get carried away so I’m “getable.”

I must admit that a part of me is sorry they didn’t come back, whoever it truly was. Like I said, I love a good mystery and I wanted to hopefully learn for sure who they were at some point. But some of what they said was a little scary. Especially when they spoke of running out of money. Talk money and I get really nervous! I just worry about the checks. Then again, if they’re going to do anything serious, I doubt they’d warn me about it in print. It was stupid of me to delete some of those wonderful questions too, but some of them are still there.

Later…

“After I got my revenge on you, I suffered the next day from someone else’s abuse. Does that make you feel better?”

That was the last question on Formspring I received from who I still think is Maliheh. I mean, this pretty much stamps out Andy, Donna and Tom’s family because they never got “revenge” on us in any way. It pretty much rules out anyone associated with Valleyhead as well.

And it makes me wonder if perhaps I was wrong all these years in assuming God doesn’t take care of my perps.

They also said they once liked me, but now they pitied me. That would rule out Joely. Oh, believe me, she NEVER liked me. I was too Jewish to stand a chance on her “like” list.

But I didn’t think Maliheh ever liked me either simply because we never got a chance to know each other. All I know about her is that she was good-looking, she played the guitar, and she attended a sign language class with Kim.

If it’s Maliheh, I hope she’s reading this because if she is, I would like to say that oddly enough, no, it doesn’t make me feel better to know she suffered any kind of abuse. If her worst fault was being a rude mean bitch, then she certainly didn’t deserve whatever abuse befell her. Hell, I can be a rude mean bitch myself. Should I be abused for being a bit of a snot at times?

If God forbid the person is not Maliheh and is actually connected to those responsible for jailing me because of the city complaint, most people would probably say they wished you all the abuse and suffering in the world and that they could never forgive you. Well, I’m not going to say anything either way as to what I may wish for you. But I am sure that I could never forgive you. Or my sister. I know a lot of people are big on forgiveness (though I don’t know why since it seems that no one can forgive anyone for even sneezing on them), and that I’m wrong for it, but I can’t help how I feel and I don’t want to lie about it either.

There is fucking people over and then there is fucking people over. And some things are obviously easier to forgive, forget and move on from than others. What happened between Maliheh and me is nothing compared to the people in Arizona as well as my sister. So we made prank phone calls and said mean things to each other. It was wrong, it was stupid, it was immature, we both fucked up, we shouldn’t have done what we did, and while we may never fully agree as to what happened nearly two decades ago, I totally forgive you, Maliheh, and it would be nice if you did the same for me. You don’t have to, though. You’re not in any way obligated to forgive or like me, but for whatever it’s worth, I would invite you over for coffee or whatever right now. I mean it when I say I no longer have any hard feelings towards you and that I know what I did on my part was wrong. I still hope that you will contact me (other than on Formspring) and we can at least say hello every now and then, but if you would still prefer to remain behind the scenes that’s ok, too. You can even continue to hate my guts, but maybe we could compromise. Maybe you could accept the friend request but still remain in the shadows. That way I can know that yes, it was you sending the messages, but that we’re moving on. I don’t know what else I can offer you. If you want me to exclude you from now on from my online journal, I could do that for you, but you’d need to let me know.

Speaking of journals, I was reading back on the parts with Maliheh. Other than being a shitty writer back then, I was surprised I mentioned her being my height. Really? I remember her to be small, yes, but my height? She must’ve really been a hell of a hottie because I prefer tall women. Her image is fuzzy in my mind after all these years. I don’t even remember if she had bangs or not, though I think she did. I do remember enough to know she was hot as hell.

I’d forgotten that she first thought something was wrong with the phone lines too, when I first crossed her with others, but I’ll take my word for it, LOL.

Well, I don’t know how many times I can apologize for pranking her or for whatever else I may’ve done to piss her off, but I really am sorry and I don’t want her to suffer in any way.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve got more than one person playing with me. Sorry, but not even a sarcastic, smart-ass bitch like myself could have that many enemies, though I suppose anything’s possible.

Anyway, if one of you is Maliheh, I forgive you for your part, will be your friend if you ever want me to and make the past up to you as best as I possibly can, and would probably STILL be drooling all over you if I saw you right now, and you and I both would probably still be hard-headed bitches at times, too. But just please – send me an email, accept my friend request or both, will you?

Last night I swear I heard a car door at 1am. At night sounds carry better, and the sound of a car door could easily come down the mountain from up at Jesse’s place, though I doubt they could be heard from other properties. Wow, is he really staying out that late?

I forgot to say that while we were out yesterday we stopped at a nearby Petco that recently opened up. Do they have any brown rats in California??? All I ever see here are whites and markings.

We saw these really cool lizards, and also these ball pythons and corn snakes. The python looked way cool, but I couldn’t see myself spending $80 on an animal that doesn’t do anything but look cool and that needs to live in a temperature-controlled climate.

Still don’t know what, if anything, we’re going to get when this rat dies. Another rat? A dog? Nothing?

Other than having 3 bouts of the runs and an ex-friend of Alison’s trying to buddy up to me on Formspring, all is fine. The weather’s gorgeous!