Now that’s something different. Maliheh now has her photo album viewable that contains two pictures of her two cats. Shall I use “Booty” and “Kiwi” in her story? LOL Anyway, one of the 3 people I friended accepted, and the one I sent the note to hasn’t replied. I’m kind of not surprised, but maybe I should send it to the one who accepted my friend request. I’ll think about it. I just went and friended about 10 more of her 50 friends. It’s interesting to see what she’s written on her friends’ walls. On the wall of the girl who accepted my friend request was a happy birthday wish.

She writes as spastically as I remember her to speak, drawing out words with extra letters.

Oh, wait! Now I can view 5 profile pics when I click on her ‘photos’ tab. I swear I couldn’t view anything before. Wonder if she’s feeding me info or something. Anyway, there were the two cats, one house and two of herself. One is the picture I’ve been seeing all along where a part of her face is blocked. The other is a good face shot. She’s still thin and still looks a decade younger. Probably weighs less than I do just like before. In 1991 I was around 100 pounds and she was probably around 90. But she does look older and kind of plain for that matter, and her hair is boring. I liked it long and straight, but now she’s wearing it shoulder-length and wavy. I would never recognize her, though, if we passed each other on the street, and I wouldn’t be the least bit attracted to her these days either.

Set most of my blogs private. At least for now.

Got a lot to do today, but what else is new? It’s cool, though. I like keeping busy. Never was one to just sit around and stare at walls.

Swapped messages with an old lady in Ohio and a black guy in Louisiana. Both had interesting things to say.

I forgot to say that there’s one other thing Andy and I talked about the other night, but it’s a hushable that can’t go online. What was funny was that I knew damn good and well it wouldn’t be anything we’d disagree on. He feels the exact same way I do yet it’s something most people would criticize us for even thinking about, LOL. I wish I could take his advice too, but it would only be a temporary fix.

I think he missed the questions I asked him yesterday. He left me a message yesterday but doesn’t seem to have noticed mine unless they’re questions he doesn’t want to answer, LOL. I forgot to ask how he can afford insurance with his own business. That shit’s expensive! Even if I had all the money in the world, I would never pay for insurance unless I had an existing condition where I knew I would use it regularly.

No matter what his faults are and my faults are, I still love the hell outa the guy. Always have, always will. We could scream at each other one minute, then in the next, I could say, “Give me a hug, you asshole,” and I know he’d smile and be quick to give me that hug. If he were suddenly at our door in need of a place we would take him, even if we had absolutely no room for him. And we don’t. He’d have to live on the floor.

His mom’s alive and well, he told me. I don’t know why, but for some reason, I thought they were both gone.

And Marie’s always gonna be a special one, too. Yeah, she’s still a part of my life even though I haven’t written much about her in the last few days. I just gotta keep a whip handy in case she’s a bad dog. :) I let her know I was alive so she wouldn’t worry. She said she woke up scared, but can’t remember the dream that woke her. I’ve been sleeping shittily too, and have had unpleasant dreams.

Oh, someone asked me what have I learned most by spending so much time broke. That’s easy. That it’s not always our fault. We don’t always have to be lazy, stupid alkies or druggies to end up this way. Those homeless people on the street – they didn’t all “ask” to end up that way. Some of them did, but some just fell prey to the wrong circumstances. It can happen to anyone. Anyone.

Couldn’t my parents at least pay to store our stuff and give us food and gas money so we could at least live in our car if we were faced with homelessness? someone else asked. I don’t know the answer to that with the way their medical expenses that aren’t covered by Medicare may be adding up, but I wouldn’t ask them to in the first place. My parents aren’t going to be around forever to run to, and I swore in 2007 that I would never again ask for money. Death would be better than the streets anyway. Either way, I have a few rules I like to stick by. I do not take sides or defend anyone in a fight. I do not ask you for money. You do not ask me for money.

I was also asked if I pray. Not too often. Most of the things I ask for don’t happen, and when they do, they seem to take forever, so I figured I’d be better off just trying to rely on myself and just do whatever I can possibly do on my own to get something I may want. I hate to say it, but it’s kind of hard not to give up on a being that seems to have given up on us. Guess some things just work better for others.

I can relate to a lot of the feedback I’ve gotten and have felt similar emotions as some folks have described. I have felt sorry for myself. I have felt angry. I have felt punished. I have felt like a failure. I have felt like a victim. Now I’m just trying to feel acceptance as to the fact that whatever will be will be, and not be so hard on myself. I have many skills and talents and I know that and it’s not like we have nothing. We have each other’s love and a lot of nice collectibles, clothes and electronics. If we didn’t have so much shit in here, this place wouldn’t seem so small.

Gosh, I sound so depressing, don’t I? I assure you, though, I sound more down than I actually am. It’s like me saying my grandfather died in 1985. Well, it’s sad that he died, but I’m not depressed.

To answer other questions, Andy is a family friend, not an old neighbor. I’ve known him all my life. He’s 4 years older. Sometimes we do Formspring live, other times we pick up messages when we can. Sometimes our schedules will clash and sometimes we’ll be busy, so we can’t always chat live. I should always be able to get in to answer questions at least once a day. We didn’t chat today, but that’s ok. It would keep it more special not to chat every day. I’m ok with once a week, even once a month. By then I just might have something new to say anyway, LOL.

Lastly, I probably won’t work much on my new story till I’m done with my current one, and yes, writing is loads of fun and one of my top hobbies. You won’t usually make much money in it what with all the writers out there unless your books are turned into movies, but it is fun.

Speaking of books, my friend/teacher/editor in the UK will be releasing his latest book soon after about 6 weeks of editing. Maybe someday I’ll set up a site and have my own books available for download for a small fee.