I have some absolutely FANTASTIC news! First, I had stopped doing my daily please-keep-us-happy-and-healthy prayers cuz I got so damn mad at God for letting so many shitty things happen to us for so damn long. I was so, so angry that He could allow for not just such frustration but for what was sheer psychological terror at times. Then for some reason, I started praying like crazy during those desperate moments for him to get the job at the toy store. He did. Then I again prayed like crazy for him to get the job he went on an interview for yesterday. He did! Coincidence? I don’t know. But I do know that just when something was toying with us and pushing us further and further toward the edge of a cliff, something then reached out to save us. Although I am grateful to know we’ll survive despite life’s bad points and the fact that our lives still may never be ideal, I still hope we one day make it to Florida. Yeah, I can’t get that dream off my mind! It left me with one of those “feelings” that only we dream premonitioners understand saying it might’ve meant something. It was raining and we seemed to be near Miami.

Anyway, while he was out on the interview and I was multitasking here at home between eBay, writing, cleaning, and the job site I work at, all I kept thinking about was how the toy store might very well not be enough to save us even with our eBay store, Eileen, and other things we do. It was better than nothing, but probably not enough since it was part-time and shit pay.

Then he came home and I asked how it went before he even got inside. Instead of the usual, “ok” or “I’m not sure,” he said, “It went really well.”

This job involves working in the receiving department of a warehouse in Roseville and involves tasks that many people find too difficult but that he’s had experience with. They just had to let some people go who couldn’t handle it. When he applied online for the job they called him and told him to check his email because they wanted him to take some tests online on how to run some programs which he easily passed. Then they called him in for the face-to-face interview and Tom said the guy said, “We have more people to interview but I just want you to know that I’m really smitten with you.” This was the big boss. The big boss then turned to the little boss and said, “This is just the type of person we need here.”

It was around 10:30 when he returned from the interview and we didn’t expect to hear from anyone until the afternoon. But not even an hour later the phone rang. I nearly choked on the fish stick that was in my mouth. He grabbed the cell and ran outside for better reception. A few minutes later he came in to tell me his background check had been done and he got the job. In an instant tears of joy sprung forth as if they’d been contained by a dam, my half-chewed fish stick still in my mouth.

After we hugged and kissed like crazy, out he rushed for a drug test and new steel-toed boots with me laughing, crying and just totally flying as if I were on drugs. It was hard to believe we were the same people researching death by carbon monoxide poisoning by sealing ourselves up in a room and lighting charcoal, and that received that horrible, gut-wrenching fuck off letter from our lovely government last Saturday. I really thought whatever’s up there had that happen to lead us to our deaths and not because it knew we wouldn’t be needing those Unemployment checks anymore. And good riddance to them, too! Really, it was so like being forced welfare bums, not at all what we want in life.

What’s got us so ballistic with joy this time around is that this is a FULL-TIME job with GREAT pay at $13! This job also holds the most potential to become PERMANENT which would mean eventually having REAL insurance for the first time in nearly a decade!!! Woo-hoo!!! Yes, anything could go wrong between now and April when we’d be eligible for Unemployment once again, but this looks so much more promising not just because of how the interview went but because this is a company that’s still thriving despite the collapse of the economy and always has a steady supply of work. The other places didn’t. The other places also told him up front that it would only be for X amount of weeks or months.

And so last spring’s September job dream I felt was a premonition came true twice over!!! He’ll have to tell the toy store, thanks but no thanks, of course, LOL, and we’ll lose all our food subsidies in a few months. Yes, all of them. LOL, that’s just fine, though.

He wonders why they offered him so much money since he made it clear he’d be willing to work for the $11 stated online, but we’re just so, so thrilled and relieved! I really thought we were dead for sure. I’m still pretty emotional. The things we take for granted can sometimes take on a whole new meaning after we’ve been pushed so far into the dark with seemingly no way out whatsoever. Imagine the gut-wrenching horror of knowing your income has suddenly stopped and you have NO friends and family in the area to run to?!?! I’m no social butterfly who goes to clubs or anything like that and I never intentionally sought out cyber-friends that lived in my area, so I never had reason to have any friends around here. Also, Tom hadn’t worked enough to make friends at work and as we both agree, it’s better to keep friends and work separated anyway. You never know what trouble mixing the two may bring.

Just thinking that the main propane tank is going to be full soon enough is pretty damn emotional enough for me, as funny as it sounds. For too many months to keep track of we’ve had to fill small 5-gallon tanks so we could take showers, unable to afford to fill the main tank that holds 120 gallons. But soon we’ll be stuffing that sucker full as hell! When that incredibly loud propane truck gets here it will be like music to my ears. The whole place practically vibrates when that monster truck is here shooting that tank up, but we shouldn’t need them till next month.

I asked Tom if he thought I’d be right with the September job dream being a premonition. He said he did but was getting a little concerned as the month wore on. Yeah, I was getting a little concerned too, then I got a LOT more than a little concerned come last Saturday, and I really have to wonder how the hell one’s life can change so much so fast! How could we have had what was just about the worst day not just since we’ve been here but since we’ve known each other, to one of the best in less than a week?!?! It’s truly mind-boggling how I had the runs so bad from fear, stress and depression that my gut couldn’t have gotten much flatter if it tried, and now I’m so ecstatic! If we never again go through anything half as scary it’ll be too soon!

I hope to one day be able to go to a sleep clinic and have my sleep disorder officially diagnosed so I can get my disability reinstated. I believe that if you can’t work outside of the house, then you should be entitled to benefits. And while my symptoms are as obvious as a bleeding thumb, I will need it officially diagnosed to get the ball rolling as far as that goes. I know some people don’t get it and perhaps they don’t want to, but some things are just obvious. This kind of disorder (which worsens with age) is simple to diagnose, too. They just test your melatonin levels. That’s what causes this and narcolepsy, an even worse sleep disorder where you spontaneously fall asleep at any given moment, even if you may be driving. Other symptoms aren’t nearly as obvious like why I sometimes get lightheaded. That could be caused by a million different things and I couldn’t even begin to guess at a diagnosis there.

Anyway, sleep disorder or not, I’ll be here working on our sales, the job site, and my writing as none of it requires much of a schedule. And to deal with Jesse having to fix the heater’s blower when we finally stop having temps in the 90s. But these little nuisances seem like nothing after what we just went through. As long as things keep getting better and this state doesn’t try to kill us again, we’ll decide if we want to stay here, get into a rental in an adult community closer to where he works next summer, etc. I’m just glad we get to live to decide! Then again, if they want to eventually throw even more money at him, it just may be worth it to stick around till he retires. Just not in this trailer, although the dream clearly showed us moving from here to Florida.

This place may be too small and old (we’re still gonna sell most of our shit, though) but it sure is cheaper. I’m hoping that while we’re here we can save about a grand a month. I told Eileen to let me know if she changes her mind about the money she sent us. Really, she is a true friend! Not many would care to jump in and help us like that without being asked even if they were rich. Eileen said it was a gift not meant to be paid back, but I told her that if she’d like, we’ll try to make it without cashing that check (and I think we can), and if we do make it, we can send the check back to her.

I would always laugh at those who described life as “short.” It just never seemed that short to me for the most part. But then when you’re so sure you’re about to die, it does seem short. Even though I’ve had many of my online friends for years it just didn’t seem long enough all of a sudden, and the thought of not being around to get Nane’s postcard from Turkey or to write another story really pissed me off.

What’s funny is that they do food subsidy evaluations in 3-month increments. They just evaluated us, gave us a little more, and can’t legally stop them even if you win the lottery the next day until the end of the 3 months. I have to laugh at the thought of knowing that I will be as happy to watch them snatch them away from us as I was horrified to see the government snatch our precious little checks!

His hours will mostly be days, but they do work OT, evenings and weekends at times. One of the few good things about this state is that it does OT per day and not per week. He might even do OT today. I was teasing the hell out of him because usually, we’re opposites in what makes us nervous. Where I was a bundle of nerves over the stopped checks, he was calm, cool and collected, saying things would work out somehow. But now I’m all relieved and he’s nervous about the new job. Even if it’s in a good way I said to him: “Nervous” about the job? LMAO, once again it’s so nice to be able to transfer those nerves back to you! You can have ‘em! Enjoy them. They’re yours to keep; a gift not meant to be paid back. :)))))))))))))))

Relieved or not, I got a ton of stuff to do, so off I go now wondering about that rain that went drip-drop in that Florida dream. :))))))