Last night’s dreams are proof that only the bad dreams are the ones I can count on meaning anything, but not the good ones. The good ones are full of shit for sure! Not only has he still not gotten a job, and not only have I still not won anything good, but we’re not moving near Miami like we did in Dreamland last night either. :(

The dream started off really weird. Tom, myself and Jesse were sleeping on these wooden rafts attached to the side of a small but steep pond that doesn’t really exist on this parcel of land. It had something to do with us either having hard times or getting ready to move.

I said something (about the land) while standing on the bank beside the pond/rafts to Jesse as he came from the other side of the pond and settled onto his raft.

“Yeah, but it’s mine,” Jesse said along with something else I don’t remember. Then Tom came and got onto the middle raft. At first I was afraid my own “raft” would sink but when I saw they could hold what totaled about 500 pounds worth of guys, I figured mine would hold me just fine.

In the next scene, I was inside the place which looked nothing like the place really does, listening to Jesse’s bulldozer and thinking how I wouldn’t miss hearing it and that the only thing I would miss was the dryer air.

And then we were in Florida. It was raining and we were going to meet some woman somewhere. I don’t know who she was or why we were going to meet her. I was just glad to be there despite concerns of things like my controlled but still existent asthma acting up, as well as my allergies/ear. But we were there!

Bullshit! I screamed in my mind when I awoke. I wanted so much to believe that too, was a sign of good things to come in the future and a premonition of sorts, but I wouldn’t let myself. If he got a job tomorrow and I won big the next day, then I could believe the dream meant something.

Anyway, what is this half-assed pain in the ass I’ve been having lately where I have this ache that sort of runs from my lower back down into my right ass cheek?

Do you ever play with spammers? Well, not spammers so much as scammers. You know, the usual ones claiming they need your assistance cashing overseas checks, or that you’ve inherited or won millions of dollars? I fuck with them at times before marking them as spam by dropping whatever’s in my paster on them. I copy and paste a lot, so unless it’s sensitive info I love to have fun fucking with them and confusing them with these baffling replies which sometimes consist of these journal entries. After all, I do copy/paste them in from Word.

I heard from Christine, which is always nice. She said she knows what it’s like to be depressed and has seriously contemplated suicide before. She also said she’s glad she didn’t do it, though, as things have changed and she’s so much happier now.

Are things ever going to change for us?????