Feeling pretty yucky today. :( I was up 18 hours and only slept 6. So once again I’m tired and feeling kind of out of it. After 10 minutes of working my arms/abs, and another 12 or so on the treadmill, I had to stop because I simply didn’t have the energy to go on. I suppose I could’ve pushed myself if I’d really wanted to; I was just too run down to try.

Yes, the stress is still there. I’m still sure this is why I haven’t been getting enough sleep, why my heart is racing, why I feel dizzy and lightheaded at times, and why my stomach’s still a bit off. No matter how many times I try to tell myself not to worry until and if something happens on account of this obsessively hateful bitch, it’s not that easy. And no matter how much of a record she herself may have the pigs aren’t going to even look at that or care. All that matters, unfortunately, is that she’s black and she’s already nailed me in court once before. Now that she’s made her little complaint it’s out of her hands and in the hands of an agency filled with a bunch of people high on power play. We call this agency the police department.

I can’t just breathe a sigh of relief and consider myself safe if nothing happens by the weekend or next week or the week after. These things take time to play out. It can take months before I’m summoned and if for some reason they can’t get our address (though I don’t know why they couldn’t) that doesn’t mean they didn’t still issue a summons which would still be just as valid as if someone handed me the damn thing.

And I still can’t imagine what they think they have on me! They have no grounds for spam, slander or libel and this is why I’m greatly concerned that the bitch and company may’ve fabricated something threatening. I still can’t believe the pigs would subpoena Google if they didn’t think they had a case. But what case????? I’m not going to check to see if there’s a warrant for my arrest because the pigs are probably tracking my online activity. There may not be one, though, unless they send a summons I either don’t get or that I ignore. It’s anything federal I’m worried about because then if they pull us over on the road for a busted taillight and automatically run a check on us, I’m fucked. Same with if she successfully sues me even though I still can’t imagine what they have on me unless it’s fabricated. That scares me more than anything.

We’re also wondering why AT&T was here yesterday. Tom said they were parked by the fork when he got home. The connection’s been the best it’s been in ages and it still is, but we still don’t get what they came out for.

On top of the shit sickos in Arizona, Molly and what’s probably her friend Sarah P are bugging me again. They left comments on my blog yesterday and now Molly’s asking Andy questions on Formspring and following him as a way of forcing me to acknowledge her existence, so to speak. Now he too, will be stalked for years and maybe even the rest of his life, though he’s not into blogging or Facebook. Just Formspring, Twitter and Fleetwood Mac fan sites.

Sometimes I miss the days when the internet was little more than stores and email, but no social sites or blogs! I sometimes think of just deactivating and or abandoning my online life altogether but I don’t want to dump the good people that care. I could always keep in touch by just email with Andy, Aly, Kim and Christine, but IDK. Getting rid of my online life would get rid of some stress, but it would also get rid of some fun, too. The only good this stress is doing is that it’s knocking my appetite out and my weight down.

I also miss the days when my biggest stresses were noise or some shit like that. I was doing so much better till I had to get that message from Google! :( I was so much happier and it was so nice not having so much stress on us. But now I worry that this sicko’s going to steal my freedom and our money all over again while God ignores my prayers for protection. I just wish I knew what – if anything – is going to happen. That’s the only way we can know the best way to fight back. But if we’re ever taken by surprise, then we might not have time to fight. Or run.

Nane is still continuing to ignore me yet she’s added another picture and responded to other people who have posted to her wall. She seems to be ignoring Irene, too. I’d say I’ll definitely be dumping her at some point; the question is just a matter of when. A part of me wants to dump her right now, but another part is curious to see how long she’ll ignore me and what her excuse will be if I ever hear from her again. These days I like to surround myself with true friends or just acquaintances and not part-time, phony “friends” that appear to care one minute and disappear the next and back and forth and back and forth.