I’m getting sicker by the minute of these part-time friendships I’ve got going with some people that I’m supposedly “close” to or at least somewhat close to. I don’t want to dump them, of course, because no one’s obligated to be my buddy full-time and because I’m sure they must have their reasons for staying away, but it gets old. It just gets so old.

I hardly hear from Maliheh anymore, and it’s been nearly a month with Nane. After a week of not being around on Facebook, her picture is back to appearing there which tells me she’s checking in today. But the fact that she can’t even drop me a quick hello a little more often than she does really annoys me. It’s time to give these people a taste of their own medicine for once and that means that when I do finally hear from them, they won’t hear from me for a month or so, so they can see what it’s like. Sadly, though, they probably won’t even notice much or care. But still, just like Molly’s degrading herself in a sense by seeking those out who don’t want to know her, I’m not going to belittle myself by jumping to reply to “friends” the instant I hear from them while they make me wait forever for their replies.

I posted a note to my wall about being sick of part-time friends and wishing they’d at least drop me a quick hello a little more often and customize it so only Nane sees it.

Decided to stop the hourly workouts. All it’s doing is building more muscle, not burning fat. My legs need a break anyway as they feel like these dead weights I’m lugging around. I’ve built up so much muscle in my legs that I’m losing flexibility. Since I can’t build my entire body up in the way that I could if I had weights, and since I can’t lose weight unless I starve, I may as well do just a half-hour every other day since all I can do is maintain my current weight. That’s all I should need to maintain my weight and keep my joints healthier so long as I don’t go eating like a pig.

My waist is fairly small now and I have a tiny tight ass, but my legs and hips still seem huge. I can’t even get my stomach as flat as I used to be able to get it, though it’s close.

I still wonder if something’s going on with me. I’m thirsty all the time, peeing all the time and nothing I do seems to jump-start my metabolism. I’m sick of the backaches too, but we’re pretty sure it’s my sagging mattress. When we’re younger we can get away with the lack of support, but we need more support the older (and fatter) we get. I kind of miss coil spring mattresses. Waterbeds are the most comfortable but they’re a pain. Foam breaks down and causes sagging and air mattresses can leak.

Got a little nervous yesterday when I saw there was a message from a local area code. Not sure how to retrieve messages from that phone, all I could do was hope it wasn’t the temp company calling to say his job had ended, even though he was currently at work.

But all was fine when he got in. In fact, he said that they’ve been training him to do work done by regular employees and not by temps. So I’m trying to stay positive but don’t want to get my hopes up knowing how many times in the past we’ve had the carpet yanked from under us.

I also don’t want to spend money on things unless we really need them. An occasional treat like going out to eat and getting some incense made up that I’m still addicted to every now and then is ok, though. Since it’s been so damn long we’re going to go out to a diner this weekend we really liked that we first went to right before he got laid off last March.

Anyway, the call turned out to be another job offer, LOL, and he called to let them know he was unavailable. They said to let them know if he ever needed a job.

Two grand in savings would bring comfort because then if one of the computers went out in a way that wasn’t worth fixing, we could get a new one. Same with the car. We could get some old used junker if we had to with 2-3 grand. Tom usually fixes whatever goes wrong with the car which has been good to us so far since we got it a few years ago, but if God forbid there was ever an all-out engine failure, we’d be screwed.

Ten grand would be the ultimate comfort in security because that’s a year’s rent. I just can’t see even two grand happening right now, though, even though they’re talking at work about overtime that has the potential to bring in 45K a year.

I’d love to snap my fingers and be in a REAL house in a Florida retirement community where it’s always summer, but it may have to wait and it may be worth waiting for depending on what happens with the job. Yes, I hate the cold, but we don’t have real winters here and we don’t want to throw away opportunities that may never again come knocking.

For now, it’s nice to know our worst problems are a new family of mice to have to deal with (yeah, we still gotta deal with trailer life and the bum living that goes with it), and whatever racket I gotta hear from Jesse today. He wasn’t too bad yesterday, but I still heard things besides whatever landscaping, renovating or building is going on in back – ATVs, motorcycles, barking, etc. Of all the lazy cocks in the world we just have to live with one that can’t sit still for long. The daily saw ritual is about to start any minute, too.

Later…

Jesse left in the truck as soon as I posted my last entry and he just came back. Let me guess… now it’s time for engine gunning, bulldozing and maybe a little running around on the ATV or the dirt bike, right? At least there’s been no sawing yet.

You know you’ve had it rough when you’re excited about getting your main propane tank filled! Yes, they’ll be here to fill it anytime now. :) And from the sound of it Jesse’s chosen the ATV. :((( Just what the fuck is this guy doing so damn much of the time??? I hope it rains like crazy this winter but that’ll just cause more bulldozing and more of his little truck dance. He sometimes runs the damn thing over his driveway to smooth out ruts and his going back and forth in it can get just as annoying as all his other vehicles I have to hear.