Getting really sick of these random weeknight outings of Jesse’s. As I know good and well, the barking won’t stop, since it’s dark out, until he returns. Well, that could be anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours to the wee hours of the morning. Man, I’m sick of this shit! Getting hit with it on weekend nights is bad enough. So now I can’t even have peace at night during the week some nights?! I don’t understand why no one shoots the fuckers even though they’d only be replaced within days. The people up the hill on the other side of him have to be just as annoyed, right? Or are they doing the same thing and leaving dogs out to bark at any given time? Well, we’re not going anywhere anytime soon, so someone needs to do something. I just don’t want to be the one to have to take responsibility for someone else’s dogs.

Anyway, I feel so bad for Tom yet we’re loving the speed our savings is growing at. They are working the holy shit out of him with killer 12-hour shifts. Again, I don’t know what the hell they bothered adding a second shift for if they’re not going to let them take care of things once 1st shift ends, but not even Mr. Optimistic himself thought we’d ever have money like this. He gets paid biweekly and we can practically pay all our monthly expenses including food and gas with one paycheck and still have money left over! While we seem to be stuck in a serious rut, it’s great not having to plan or budget and things like that.

But this doesn’t change the fact that I have a bad feeling we’re going to be here for a long time to come. He realized before he called the park that they couldn’t send us anything by mail because they don’t have our mailing address. So he called there today, but still couldn’t talk to anyone cuz the phones were down. The person told him that if he had an emergency they’d get ahold of someone, but since it wasn’t, all he can do is call back tomorrow. I find it awfully hard to believe the phones have been out for a whole week, so why can’t they just give us the bad news and let us get on with our lives? It’s kind of rude to keep people hanging like that and if they’re going to be either incompetent or make ridiculous demands of us, I don’t know that I’d want to do business anyway.

Tom says now that we’ve got enough money to make them a real offer, he just has no time to do so cuz he’s always working so damn much. The guy’s barely got time to eat, piss and sleep. I don’t think it matters, though, how much we can offer. The lot the place is on still has to be rented every month. So if they have a problem with those with less than perfect credit as well as no credit, then why would it matter whether we got a place for a grand or a place for 7 grand? Yet he says it does.

We still can’t get that nice of a place, though, no matter how much we can put down or even if we can buy it outright, cuz then we lose our security. If our expenses are more than they are here, then we can’t save as fast. The last thing I want to do is go back to living paycheck-to-paycheck or only be able to save $20 bucks a month. Being able to save $500 - $1000 a month has a way of spoiling you, and I don’t want to give that up by having a nicer place that ties up most of our money. Yeah, I’m tired of old, ugly places. Yeah, I’m tired of being cramped in like a little sardine. But we can’t have our cake and eat it, too. I’d still rather pretty up an older, cheaper place that we know would be at least somewhat bigger than this.

But that’s only if anyone out there will let us. If all the parks keep rejecting us, what do we do then? Stay here or get a place in the mainstream where the barking will not only be worse but we’ll be back having to deal with screaming kids and blasting car stereos as well?

It’s hard to believe the sardine park we liked the least wouldn’t be willing to work with us if we were willing to take a place nearly as small and as dumpy as this one, but that’s just the thing – I’m tired of settling! Whatever’s up there may not like me nearly as much as it liked my parents and I don’t expect to ever live nearly as well as they did, but I think my husband and I deserve a little better for once. No matter how much money we have, we don’t need to keep living like bums.

The cock up the hill left at 8pm. It’s almost 10pm. If the barking is still going on at midnight, then I’ll know it’s not coming back tonight. Damn God above for siccing this shit on me in every single fucking place I’ve lived in since I left the East!

Nane wasn’t ignoring me, just busy. She messaged me yesterday. She’s filling in for a vacationing colleague, then said something about expecting a lot of trades that day.

With all the sexism that still goes on toward women, I’m really surprised most men aren’t gay.