What’s up with Nane? She hasn’t picked up my FB messages, but she was on my blog. I know she was on FB, though, since she “liked” some pictures someone posted. It could be a glitch in the notification system, but why do I get the feeling that she didn’t want to pick up my messages because she knew I would know it if she did? Yet she doesn’t know I know if she goes to my blog. This suggests she may have a problem with my rage toward my mother, but doesn’t want me to know it, and may figure that the best way to try to hide it is to not pick up my messages. Yet she’s still curious, so she goes to my blog?

Well, I hope she’s just busy and that my not hearing from her has nothing to do with the torrent of emotions that have been going through me on account of my mother. I know she can’t possibly relate to or understand since she seems to come from a very close, loving family, but still.

Sometimes, however, people are quick to shower you with all kinds of comments and messages when you’ve got good news to share. Get sad, mad or emotional about something that’s not good and ironically people seem to disappear. Some of them anyway, and then I’m left to wonder why. Are they really just busy or is it a coincidence? Are they just too weak to handle someone else’s emotions or tough times? Are they simply at a loss for words and just don’t know what to do or say? I wonder about these things at times. And it’s always, always those who are considered less attractive that seem to be around the most. Again I have to wonder, is this odd coincidence NOT a coincidence? Or am I just imagining it?

Nane once told me that she works hard for her money and that she doesn’t feel the least bit guilty or ashamed for it. She shouldn’t! She should be proud of herself. Well, just like she’s not the least bit ashamed or guilty for doing well in life, I’m not the least bit ashamed or guilty for how I feel about my mother (and some other family members) and I’m not about to let anyone tell me I’m wrong for it or sit in judgment of me, not that they have. I have a right to my emotions and I accept them as they are. If there are others, however, who can’t accept them as they are, that’s their problem. I don’t need, want or expect anyone’s approval about anything I think, do, feel or say.

Yes, it’s ironic that some people “happen” to not be around when we’re feeling down and could use more support from friends even if it’s just to say, “Hi, how are you? I hope you’re feeling better.” But until and if I hear otherwise, I know I shouldn’t jump the gun and assume the worst. Some people are just plain busy and we can’t expect to hear from them every day no matter what’s going on in our lives.

Now, onto more important things than why some people seem to disappear at certain times. The realtor blew us off completely. So I’m guessing that cheap doublewide either sold, something’s trying to stop us from getting a place, or we’re just meant to be in that other park. The one we completed and submitted our eligibility application to.

My allergies have been going crazy ever since I took back the old mattress and threw the plain foam topper on. Am I allergic to foam or something?

Despite the anger I’ve been experiencing over Mom’s shit, I kind of had to laugh when Tammy said she wasn’t sure which were journals as opposed to stories. I told her, though, that it would be pretty obvious. I don’t usually mix stories with reality, but if I do it would say Chapter Whatever and contain a lot of quotes, which represent dialogue.

She took the evil witch’s dog up to CT. Poor mutt. I may not be a dog fan but I know they have feelings, too. It must be quite a change for it to live half its life in a warm climate with an older couple in a condo, then to end up in a cold climate with a younger couple that has another dog and lives on 3 acres of land.

Anyway, it’s Aly I’m more worried about. I may be pissed as hell after learning some things I learned, but I’m still doing ok. She isn’t.