Got my first view from the troll yesterday evening. Just a quick visit to my MO blog, but hopefully she’ll be kept too busy to make more than just an occasional quick glance.

“What if you’re really dead, Jodi? What if you really did die the night of October 1st of last year, and what if the wonderful year you’ve had is nothing more than an illusion or wishful thinking from the afterlife?” some anonymous being in my dreams asked me last night.

I answered the same way I would for real; that I’d rather “think” I was living the good life before I knew for sure I was suffering in any way.

Regardless, I slept horribly last night. Another inner wall of the airbed let go, making its shape rather unsleepable. So I deflated the piece of shit and tossed it out on the porch. Then I folded the 4” memory foam topper in half along with the 1” plain foam topper, never more glad for my child-size body, fat or not, and slept on that while he slept on the original foam mattress.

So I settled in for the night and was not only immediately reminded of why I hate memory foam with the way it causes you to sag and overheat, but the whole ensemble was tilted for some reason. I guess that would be due to some parts of the foam being worn out. It’s a miracle I didn’t wake up with a backache, but the makeshift mattress wasn’t thick enough to cause my body to sag to the degree that it did when the memory foam was atop the original mattress.

Then it hit me that I had been stupid. I could’ve just blown up the airbed we got before the last two, and assuming no inner walls let go, that could be used until the new deluxe mattress gets here in about a week even though it does have a tiny leak in it. Yeah, we finally decided to do what we should’ve done all along and got a real quality mattress from Amazon. Shipping was free, but with taxes, it cost about $270. It should be well worth it. It’s a 13” independently cased coil pillow-top mattress. Even if it’s not quite as comfortable as an airbed, I shouldn’t be waking up with backaches like I used to, and it should definitely last a long time.

As Tom said, though, we were more stupid than I thought since we could’ve just thrown the futon’s mattress in there for now, LOL. Once the platform was bare I went and pulled up all the duct tape that we placed over the screw heads to protect the airbeds, then we threw the original mattress on and topped it off with the plain foam topper. Lastly, we threw the memory foam topper on the futon’s barely plush mattress. So I’ll at least not be sagging too much or feeling like I’m having hot flashes until the new mattress arrives.

We’re doing the paperwork required for the park and I tweaked some online settings too, assuming they’ll look us up online. You won’t find anything on Tom, but I did have the links to my blogs on Facebook set to public. Well, you never know what things people may judge you by, so I set those to friends only for now. Once we get in, assuming we really do, I can open that back up later.

He’s going to type up a letter about our ownership and rental history for the last 10 years. I told him to make sure he lets me read it before he prints it out, knowing what spelling and grammar errors he may make and that if he thinks it’ll take him 5 hours and 45 minutes to do it, have me do it instead. We also shot pictures of our IDs and other things.

His total earnings for the first year at this job are definitely going to be above average. It’s about fucking time, too! It was never those who got what they deserved I had a problem with. It’s those NOT getting what they deserve I have a problem with. I will never forgive God above, if there is one, for reducing us to such bummery and making such bums out of us cramped into this trashy old trailer for so long. I didn’t ask for my sleep disorder and my husband never asked to spend 28 months on unemployment. I’ll NEVER be His bum again and neither will my husband!

Speaking of work, I’m going back to my job as an artificial intelligence worker as soon as we’re moved and with a better connection, not because we’ll need the extra money but so I can feel like I’m working too, in ways that go beyond just keeping up the place. I’m also going back to sweeping, but don’t know if I can win the hundreds to thousands of dollars a month in cash and prizes that I used to be able to win. Psychic or not, there’s just too much competition these days.

I started to get pissed off when I saw I gained back the two pounds I half-starved off last week with just one day of pigging out. But not only did I realize it wasn’t all for nothing after all since I wasn’t two pounds above what I put back on, but it’s already backed off. I decided not to pig out again, though, until I’ve lost 4 pounds.

Really hope these views from Arizona are just random coincidences. First Surprise, then Maricopa, now Mesa.