I hate both my uncles. Always have, always will. As a child, I tried to love them and I tried to find some good in them, but I couldn’t even like them. I did what most children do and tried to win their approval, though it was to no avail. Why they never seemed to like me, especially my mother’s brother Ronnie, was never anything I could understand. As a child, I felt hurt. As a young adult, I was curious as to what they could possibly have against me, though I assumed it had to do with my pranksterish ways and the labels my mom just loved to slap on me in hopes of gaining sympathy and attention on account of it. As an older adult, I didn’t give a shit. I only knew that had my uncles waited till I was around 25 to treat me the way they did as a child, they would have ended up in the hospital while I’d have gone straight to jail.

I remember being kinda pissed for Tammy when she said that although she ignored it, Ronnie would give her dirty looks every chance he got when they met up at Larry’s house when his son died in 1997. And all for something that might’ve happened what, 25 years ago? It’s scary how long one can hold a grudge over the dumbest of things. I know my cousin Polly, who I haven’t even seen since I was 19, still resents me for the prank calls I made to her bastard father Marty (my dad’s brother) in 1989. Calls that have long since been owned up to and apologized for. I regret apologizing, though. Am I really sorry for the few measly pranks I pulled on the bastard who once terrorized and threatened me as a 15-year-old child? Even his own mother who was living with us at the time was terrified out of her mind.

Is hanging onto Tammy really the right thing? Or should I just let her go and be done with the whole damn family forever? I guess only time will tell. But I decided to do what was best for me and not worry about how others may react. If I decide to let go and she has a hard time dealing with it and accepting it and feels she has to resort to childish harassment, that’s her problem, not mine. I’m not going to worry anymore about who can or can’t respect my decision to either stick around or go my own way, but as long as I am accepted as I am without being accused of lying and without anyone trying to push, change or control me, then there’s little else that could drive me away. Maybe if you pester me with 20 messages a day and then take a shit fit if I don’t reply to each and every one the instant you send them, or if you lie (and I don’t mean a little white lie as a joke) or try to rip me off I’d be tempted to split, but otherwise, there’s no need to.