I’ve decided it’s about time I stop being so damn nice and worry about what others may think of what I say in my blog. After all, I don’t care what they think of me, so why should I worry about what they think of my blog? I have suppressed some of my views on some things, like the human killing machines in the Middle East despite the fact that millions of others have freely expressed theirs, simply because I didn’t want to offend this one or upset that one or whatever. Well, no more! It’s about time I stop being responsible for other people’s feelings because A, they’re not my responsibility. B, no one’s being forced to read this at gunpoint. C, I’m not threatening or harming anyone by expressing myself, nor am I breaking any laws. So, while I may come off as defiant and defensive if anyone so much as dares to think of violating my right to say what I’m going to say, I will sue you senseless. Really, I will be the first thing that comes to mind whenever you’re asked what you regret most in life. Forget about buying a trailer in a park. I’ll be able to buy the whole damn park when I get done with anyone that might try to make trouble for me simply because they can’t handle it or don’t want to hear it or they might feel they’re entitled to seek vengeance because I wasn’t afraid to “accurately rate” them on a particular site once upon a time. What can work in the past doesn’t always work in the future. Especially when that once naïve-to-the-law person ain’t so naïve anymore. Oh no, this one fights back and doesn’t succumb to any stupid traps or bluffs, nor to any lies, false promises or threats cuz she knows they’re all bullshit anyway.

Sometimes it’s best to just cut your losses, admit you can’t always get the last word, and let dead dogs lay. Besides, if you didn’t have a guilty conscience and weren’t guilty of anything you wouldn’t care what I said about you, right? Right? Yeah, you don’t think I knew about you lurking in the shadows as you have been, but I’ve seen your every move within my account. Again I ask the same question I asked years ago, who’s the real stalker? Well, mark my words – you do not scare or intimidate me, and trying to scam and or scare me on behalf of your buddies won’t do you any good either but get you in trouble if it happens again. You really need to grow up, get a life, and get over the past. You were fired with just cause and now it’s time to move on. If sales are where you’re really meant to be in life, why not go with it, make the best of it and stop trying to “resurrect” what can never be again? You had your chance once. You blew it. Now move on. You won for a while there and then you lost. You used and abused your position without a care as to how it may affect others. You took your anger over the past out on others, including me. You made mountains out of molehills. You read things in that weren’t even there. You jumped to false conclusions. You treated little, harmless offenses like it was murder. You helped make a lot of people miserable. The end result: No one feels sorry for you so get over it.

Just wanted to give any potential troublemakers fair warning, though I am probably being unnecessarily defensive in a way that only one who has walked in my shoes could understand. I don’t go out of my way to offend people, but I’m also not so willing to aim to please either. Not in my own blog anyway, that people choose to read on their own. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to agree with it. All you have to do is respect my beliefs, feelings and opinions, as you would want others to do with you. If you don’t want any trouble, don’t make it for others.

I’m not playing to an audience here. I’m not out to “entertain” anyone. I’m only out to share my experiences in life and the feelings and thoughts that go with them. If anyone happens to find any of it enlightening or funny along the way as a “side effect” to me sharing what I share, fine. It is also fine if someone doesn’t like my saying I’m sick of the shit these crazy, extremists in the middle east have pulled year after year, decade after decade. They really have a way of making other groups that can get rather feisty seem like pussycats. Their latest outburst over a stupid film after we have given and given to them while forfeiting our own has me enraged, ashamed and embarrassed as hell for them. They disgust and sicken me, and no, I don’t feel sorry for the kids there either. Those “innocent” kids are going to grow up to be the same monsters the adults are at the rate they’re going. They are like two-year-olds throwing violent temper tantrums. Why is it that some groups think the way to solve their anger issues or other problems is to riot and take it out on innocent people??? How can they possibly think that’s going to fix things or gain their acceptance? I’ve seen films and other things that have offended me plenty yet I don’t go around destroying property, setting fires and killing people. Oh, and one more thing – if they hate us Americans so damn much then why don’t they get the fuck out of this country?

Slept great on the new mattress. No backaches or anything like that. Just the usual slew of negative/weird dreams. As comfy as the mattress is, it doesn’t have much bounce for a coil spring mattress. It’s a very firm, rock-solid mattress. I’m sure I’d have complained it was too firm back in my skinny days. They’re amazingly quiet, too. Usually, when someone’s moving next to you, you can hear the coils creaking, but not with this thing.

Got a great idea for a night light in one of my dreams. In the dream, I was showing someone a huge screen saver I had that was the size of an average mural. Well, we certainly wouldn’t need one that big since it doesn’t take that much light to see your way around, but I think I may get one of those digital photo frames after the move and keep it in the kitchen or living room. Then instead of leaving the stove light on, we could use that.

I had dreams of Cousin Philip and his phony mother because they were on my mind after talking about them with Tammy.

Then I was in this strange room that was quite cramped. It had a lot of stuff in it. I guess it may’ve been a bedroom of sorts. I was supposed to sleep in the bedroom next to it but wanted to sleep in that one for some reason. I was about to block the light in the window since it was daytime, but as I approached it I saw a few people that seemed to be looking for me. I didn’t want them to see me so I tried to hide under the blanket.

Had a few quick dreams of Nane, but all we did was scream at each other. In one dream she asked to check out my pink iPod and accidentally erased what was on it, so I screamed at her for that. Then she got pissed at me because I forgot to bring over some donuts or cakes I had promised to bring over. I laughed and said I’d remember to poison them first next time and she glared at me for that one. Then she accidentally dropped my iPod and I let her have it for that, too. A split second later I was relaxing in her bed with a rat curled up by my side and she ran into the room screaming for me to “get that fucking thing off her bed!” LOL

I am so pissed off right now. The net’s been out cold for about 5 hours. I just might be ready to settle for a carbon copy of this dump in that cramped park just so I can have decent Internet service!

Maliheh finally picked up my email. But it says she made only 1 view, so does this mean she only opened one of them? Either way, she really hasn’t turned out to be a very good friend. It’s like she’s only a partial friend and a part-time one as well. It’s like she was willing to finally be my friend, but only if she could keep me at a distance by not talking on the phone or adding me on Facebook. Then there are the long silent spells too, though I’d still rather that than be smothered like Marie used to love to do.