I’m so fucking pissed right now, so you might not want to read this if you can’t handle foul moods very well. It’s like something up there is determined to punish me for having such a good day yesterday.

I was hoping I could go one week – just one lousy week – pain-free. But now my ear is acting up again. It’s like God decided years ago I must, must, MUST live most of my life in pain. Why can’t I just be as crazy as Kim and have MPD instead? Crazy doesn’t hurt. Then I could have fun being all these different people and do it without the pain.

First it’s my ear acting up again, then it’s Kim, then email issues. Tom suspects Hotmail may’ve blocked mail.com on account of spam. This wouldn’t surprise me since they do get kind of spammy. Believe me, it’s frustrating being spammed by your own email provider! So I created a Hotmail account, which I’ll use to send stuff to Andy. I couldn’t even send one from mail.com to my new Hotmail account.

So I still have to deal with my ear, get new glasses, and I feel like we’re NEVER going to get out of here. If I have to keep going to all these doctors it could really eat up our savings. Most things are covered by our insurance, but still, things add up. We’ve already had to get a lot of shit we needed, and then there were the dental expenses. This was enough of a setback as it is. I’m back to thinking our best bet is to just settle for an old expando which will give us 200-300 more square feet and an extra half-bath, rather than wait till we can get a newer doublewide. Again, life isn’t about getting what you want. It’s about making the best of what you can get. I just don’t want to be here another year or two and I know the bastard above is going to see to it that I don’t get shit from my parents!

The new antennae will be here soon so we can use the hotspot when they disconnect us at night and early in the morning like they won’t stop doing.

Then I check in on Ask and get: You recently added me on Facebook, can I ask your advice on something?

Even though the “question” reeked of Kim I thought I’d go and check my friend list just in case it wasn’t to see who I recently added. Sure enough, the skitzo is on my friend list!!! I quickly went from annoyed to seriously creeped out. I did NOT add her. Then I became angry to think that she had full-fledged access to my profile for God knows how long, including my friends. I tried to remember the last time I viewed my friend list. It wasn’t too long ago, but not too recent either. That was when I realized that she probably reactivated an old account she had deactivated to keep an eye on me. This is someone who’s created dozens of accounts both in her name and in the names of the celebrities she impersonates. Thank you, Alter So and So, for being dumb enough to tip me off like that! It was probably an alter that also tried to tell me about a week ago that she created an account to spy on me and how Kim is such a bad person and all that. So the nutjob has this alter that tries to protect me from her real self, and well, it’s crazy. Just crazy. I looked up her name and deleted any suspicious accounts I found, including one that was created 19 hours ago.

I also found other friends I’d long since deleted. Some of them anyway, and I wonder if a Facebook glitch could be involved as well. I’m so sick of issues with Facebook that if it weren’t for Nane I’d shut down in a heartbeat. In fact, I’m thinking of shutting it down, then recreating a new account that can’t be looked up. Then I could just re-add my top friends. I try to keep my friend count down there so that’d be easy enough to do if the account was ever hacked, and it also makes sharing posts easier. It’s easier to sort through a list of 50 friends as opposed to 150 friends if I post something I don’t want to share with everybody. She’s still on a mutual friend’s list, though, from what I know. So if I re-friend that friend from a new account, the troll will see me on her friend list. I’d have to create one with a bogus name and I hate the idea of that. I really don’t want to be anyone other than who I am.

I was remembering back on how a friend and I would get so annoyed when Kim would ask us the same damn questions on Ask that we knew had already been asked and answered. Back then I took it for her not caring enough to pay attention. Now I wonder if it were in fact her alters that would ask the questions, and then she, the real Kim, would fail to remember it.

“But how could you be all these different people and not remember them?” I had asked Tom. “It isn’t an act or them just pretending?”

“No, it’s a mental disease,” Tom told me, and when I think about it – really think about it – no actress is that good. Especially one who seems as dumb as Kim.

Kim’s behavior highly suggests she has MPD, but I’m no expert and I never met the nut in person. I have no idea what her childhood was even like, though I’ve read that MPD is often the result of childhood sexual abuse. This doesn’t excuse her behavior, though. She needs serious help. But what’s scary is that I don’t think there’s anyone to take charge and put a stop to her behavior like there was in Molly’s case. Yes, Molly’s parents were enablers for a while, but they also have custody of her even though she’s an adult, and finally realized she needed more than just a few days in the funny farm. But who’s got custody of Kim? No one, I don’t think. Therefore, there’s no one to control her actions as far as I know. Kim and her many alters are free to harass anyone they want, whenever they want… until her “innocent” questions become actual threats.

I’ll be waiting when they do, Kim, Janet, Millie, or whoever the hell you are right now when you read this.

I slept forever. Something like 13 hours, though I woke up several times along the way, once to go pee. I needed it, though. I was pretty exhausted. Then I get up to find yesterday’s Chinese feast put me up not 1, not 2, but 3 pounds! It’s scary to think I could gain 20 pounds a week if I ate like that every day of my life, but I will lose it over the week. I’ve decided that losing a lot of weight isn’t worth giving up my Sunday pig-out sprees, so like Tom said, I was never that big anyway. I’ll stay where I am. Then if I find those sports bras I love so much at Target, I won’t have to turn around and get a smaller size 6 months to a year later. So I shall eat on weekends, run it off during the week, and back and forth.

Nane apologized and left a nice photo on my wall wishing me a nice day. I told her I forgave her cuz I knew she was busy cleaning up the soup I spilled, hahahaha.