When someone views my blog for 49 minutes through a proxy I can’t help but wonder if it’s someone I know. There were also some IP#s said to be reported as spam forums when I ran the numbers.

Now for something that kind of disturbs and even worries me. This will have to be kept private for sure, but it’s about Tammy. She wants me to help her spite Lisa and I absolutely refuse to get involved or take sides. She didn’t literally ask me to get involved or take sides, but as I’ve mentioned, the two things she loves to bitch about when we talk on or offline are her health issues and all the problems Lisa’s supposedly causing the family. This time she went a step further, asking if I could find out what nursing home she works at in Mystic, CT. She and the others want to get her in trouble. Something about her taking a picture of herself showing off her new heels after getting worker’s comp for a bad back. People that cheat the system piss me off too, and there are people that genuinely need things like welfare, worker’s comp and disability and the cheaters help ruin it for them, but this is her DAUGHTER for God’s sake! Am I missing something here or is it just plain wrong for a mother to seek what seems like a form of revenge on her own daughter AND pit her other kids and husband against her as well? Is there really no end to whom she will spite when crossed by them? Or at least when she thinks she’s been crossed by them?

I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know the whole story (she said she’d tell me if I called), and I got a taste of Lisa’s craziness myself a few years ago when we were all bickering. So I know for a fact that Lisa’s unbalanced. She’s lied to me, she’s made false accusations against me, and I saw a lot of Molly in her in just those few messages we exchanged. But how much of her craziness is Tammy influenced? And Bill, and maybe Mark, too.

Again, I don’t know the whole story, but what she said to me and what I saw on Becky’s wall shows that her vindictiveness still lives on, She spited me in 2000 and then again in 2009 with her vengeful evilness and apparently, she hasn’t changed a bit. Piss her off and she’ll do everything she can to make you miserable whether you deserve it or not.

All Tammy would say was that the last 4 days have been terrible with Lisa’s threats and harassment. Also, Sarah was especially hurt cuz she stuck by her when no one else would and they’ve come to the end of the road with her. She asked if we were Facebook friends, but we’re not and we never will be.

Again, I don’t know the whole story, but when I saw Tammy, Sarah and Becky openly bashing her on Becky’s public wall, it again made me wonder who I was associating with and if it was worth the risk to have her as a backup for the next poor spell.

I had decided to dump her as soon as both parents were gone, but then I hung onto her because she had been nice enough to deal with wrapping up Mom and Dad’s lives mostly by herself, all the while keeping me up to date on what was going on. Then she offered to send us some stuff and told me not to hesitate to call for help if we ever needed money. I’ll admit I didn’t want to burn that bridge too quickly. Not many people would help a little let alone to the degree she would and that wasn’t something I just wanted to throw away. She’d send us tickets and put us up in the basement apartment they had made for Becky till she and Sarah got an apartment together and give Tom a job working with Mark. How many people would do that much for us even if they could? Not many! So I’ll be the first to admit I was hesitant to just throw that kind of backup away, even if the LAST thing we’d ever want to do is run to Tammy of all people. Remember, she helped get me in jail, however indirectly it may’ve been, by exposing me to the welfare bums and corrupt pig that were after me. If she hadn’t defended her abusive husband, I never would’ve known there was a warrant out for me in the first place, but thanks to her flushing me out like that when they came to talk to me about threatening Bill (and I was truly guilty of that much), they routinely checked and discovered the bench warrant. No, she didn’t know about the warrant any more than we did, but that doesn’t change the fact that she still helped me lose 6 months of freedom and thousands of dollars, and put me through an untold amount of stress, depression, and anger. And don’t forget my husband. He too was affected by all the spite, legal or not. In seeking legal revenge upon me, they hurt my husband, too. I’m all for seeking justice but not revenge, and clearly what she and the bums/cop did was nothing other than revenge with a capital R. Going after someone who beat you up, burned your place down or stole your car, is totally different.

So… I’m not against getting justice, but I am against getting revenge. I know they don’t always let us, but we should really just try to ignore those we don’t like or have a problem with. Is it just me or does anyone else I share this with agree that a mother trying to get her daughter in trouble (even if she really doesn’t have a bad back), and openly condemning her on FB is just plain wrong? Lisa may not have been able to see it, though, if they all have her blocked. Still, aren’t mothers supposed to not take sides?

If I pulled back and looked at Tammy as just Tammy and not my sister, then asked myself if I would be friends with her, the answer would be no. She’s not my type to buddy with. We don’t have much in common at all. Never have. But unless things get worse, I’m afraid to dump her cuz not only will we have burned a possible safety net, it will then be my turn, once again, to be harassed by her, and God knows what she may do next time. If I do ever feel I have reason enough to dump her I won’t hesitate to do so as there’s only so much shit I’ll take from people, but I’ll bow out silently and not go off on her on my way out, cuz that’d really fuel her fire. I will admit a part of me is amused at the idea of simply going dumb on her.

Her: Where have you been? Why don’t you answer my calls and messages anymore?

Me: I don’t know who you are. You must have me mixed up with someone else.

Her: It’s Tammy, your sister, goddamnit!

Me: Who? I don’t have a sister. I’m an only child.

LOL, well, my blogs sure do say otherwise, but it’s still a funny thought. Right now, though, dealing with Kim and Molly is enough, and being annoying isn’t reason enough to get rid of the drama queen. There’s only so much I’d take from anyone, though, so if bad things start happening…bye-bye I go even if that means throwing our life jackets to the wolves, and there really isn’t anything to say we’ll never be poor again. What can happen once can happen twice, though it has happened thrice. Oh yeah, God loves to make bums out of us, but I promise Him and myself, I won’t always live like a bum. Regardless of what we have for money, someday we WILL have a decent home.

It’s true, though. Poverty can happen to anyone, anytime, including us. He could get laid off right now. In about 7-8 months we would run out of money if he were unable to find a job by then, and then we could be right back in the same boat we were in last year. My optimistic side says, “God doesn’t hate you guys that much.” My realistic side says, “The hell He doesn’t!” Seriously, if this happened, God would NOT be looking out for us.

Back on topic. I told Tammy that I wouldn’t know where to begin to find out the information she wants on Lisa (it’s true). I also told her I felt it best not to get involved for obvious reasons.

I don’t know just how messed up Lisa is, but I remember a part of me felt bad for Molly’s parents (until I realized just what enablers they are) after the way Molly wrote in an old blog of hers how she dreamed of stabbing them in their sleep and how she was funny farmed (even though her mother could’ve had her arrested), for threatening suicide and attacking them. Well, I don’t know if she just threatened to kill them or if she actually made an attempt to attack them, but I know her father had to subdue her, so to speak. She wrote of him pinning her down in a chair when she was supposedly out of control one night.

Well, just how out of control is Lisa??? She can’t be too crazy if she can hold a job and a long-term relationship like she is said to be doing. sighs I think the whole family’s just fucked up. It’s as simple as that. I’m the only one that came out so fluky but oh so normal at the same time, LOL.

I told her about the dream I had of her dying last June, but that I wouldn’t worry much about it since I also dreamed Alison died yet she never did.

Thinking of how these sisters have been fighting doesn’t surprise me. Lisa had told me she was close to them before going off on me a few years ago, and even Mom said that, too. Yet I remember thinking to myself that this might change in time. I got that one right, all right. Regardless, God didn’t love me enough to give me a good family, but he sure gave me a great husband and friends. :) That helps make up for it.

Later…

Had a busy morning, along with the usual annoyances from up at Jesse’s place. The loud truck, some barking, and who knows what else is to come. It’s still prime Jes pest time, so we’ll see. Maybe the motorcycle? I’m kind of surprised I haven’t heard it already.

Right now I’m bloated to hell and I have a bit of a backache, too. Can’t wait to trade these periods in for hot flashes. Especially when it’s in the 30s and 40s out there. It’s not even January and I miss the summer already, even though the cold is so much better for sleeping and working out.

Romeo, being the little devil that he is, likes to push some of the bedding out and make a mess on the floor around the cage. I don’t know what the reason for this is. Is he trying to build some kind of privacy wall? If he wants privacy, what’s wrong with the wooden burrow or the tube? He does spend most of his sleeping time in the tube while Sugar prefers the burrow, so who knows why he does the silly things he does.

Sick of cleaning up after him I added the wire mesh flooring that goes just above the bottom rim of the cage. That way they can’t actually reach the bedding. While I was doing this, the only place I could think of to put the two of them while still being able to keep an eye on them was in the kitchen pail, LOL. I removed the trash bag from it first, of course, but this way they were contained in something too high to jump out of.

I assured them I’d work as quickly as I could, peeking in on them from time to time. One time Romeo was looking up curiously at me as if to say, “What’s going on?” It was so cute! Of course they had to piss and shit the pail up, but it was due for a good rinsing anyway.

When I first sent them back home I had yet to add the burrow and food bowl. Sugar looked back at me as if to say, “Hey, where’s all my stuff, bitch?” hahaha, it was so cute.