I definitely do have sleep apnea. They're not making that up. I miss the days when I could flop onto my back in my sleep and not wake myself up snoring. Hell, sometimes I snore in other positions as well! 🙁 The weight's not coming off, so I need that mouthguard.

I slept poorly because I kept waking up. Sometimes I was hot, sometimes I was cold, and other times I woke up for no reason. Because of this, I was tired when I got up. A half-hour later, I ended up napping for a couple of hours. Taking vitamins every other day isn’t enough for me. I feel more hypo. So it’s back to every day. That’s what I wanted to see though, where my sweet spot was.

Curious, I stepped on the scale a second time after my long nap to find I’d only gone down 0.2 pounds. This means I only lost the water I drank before the nap and then peed off when I got up. My metabolism is simply not moving. This is another reason not to bother dropping my calories anymore. It just wouldn’t do me any good. No point in putting myself out for zero results. Besides, I’m barely 5 pounds heavier than when I came here and I can’t believe I’m only 5 pounds away from stopping snoring. If I was suddenly 120 pounds then maybe I would stop snoring, but I’m not going even remotely close to that, so I need to improvise, and that can only be done if my insurance company will help me. I wish we were rich so we could pay for everything I needed! They’re right when they say that money isn’t everything, but it sure is something and it sure helps.

I wonder how much yesterday's sugar spree could account for how shitty I feel today, particularly when it comes to being tired. There will be absolutely no more sugar relapses until I've had enough time to test my energy levels without it! I mostly wanted an excuse to get out. I don’t want to go back to having doctor’s appointments like crazy, but I really like to get out when I’m on days and that doesn’t mean just stepping outside. Going outside would be better than nothing, but it’s been hot and humid and we don’t have the bench yet. I could sit somewhere in the carport, but then I’m in the shade. The idea is to give me adequate sunlight. I just don’t want it when it’s 90 degrees and nearly 100% humid. Not only is that uncomfortable, but I burn easily. So for now, I’m stuck indoors.

Funny how I read in a journal entry of mine from over 20 years ago how my life was more adventurous even if many of those adventures weren’t good, but back east I knew the same people and did the same things. Funny, because that’s how my life has been for many years now, but it’s better to have a little stagnancy at times because whenever it’s been adventurous it’s usually not in a good way.

My TMJ has been bugging me. It’s been really bad lately and I don’t know why. Maybe I’m not using my nasal spray enough. I don’t think all of it is because of nerve damage from surgery but also because of my Eustachian tube having problems draining.

On the way to CVS yesterday, where I grabbed two pieces of caramel that they sell individually, a little container of mini chocolate chip cookies, and some wine, we saw a county vehicle parked across from Crazy Karen. We also saw a woman and a man walking toward the redneck’s place. My first guess is that either he and Julie or the couple across from the nutjob called in county code violations at the nutjob’s place. Just because you’re crazy doesn’t mean you should be able to get away with shit. The place looks straight out of some comedy skit or circus and is caked with tons of mold. I was hoping someone would mention it in the group but they didn’t. I’m sure I could ask the redneck about it, but I don’t want to get involved.

Since they wouldn’t call the county on account of the nutjob acting out (the cops have been here before for that) and were walking up the redneck's driveway, I have another theory. Maybe it’s revenge from the park. Joe said they refused to do any more home improvements because of the mess over there, so they could be retaliating. I don’t think that’s how they would retaliate, though. If they were going to do so, they would just do what Joy did to us at the other place and make some ridiculous complaint.

Society says we’re supposed to have compassion for the mentally ill. Why? With all the problems they cause in society, just why? Pedophiles can’t help themselves, but that doesn’t mean we should all feel sorry for them.

Not too long ago, I planted a couple of lemon seeds. When they didn’t sprout, I told Tom he could throw the pot outside, and one of them has sprouted. That’s what happened with the scallion plant I planted as well. They would definitely rather grow outside.

I finally had a good dream that I didn't want to wake up from but did. I had a dream I spotted Termite Tammy and went to tell her to try threatening and blackmailing me to my face, but woke up before I could find her. Such a shame. I would have loved to have seen what I did to her!

It’s been just like old times with my dreams. I’ve been remembering quite a bit, even if many of them don’t make sense. Andy was sleeping over again in one dream and we were talking about how cloudy days sometimes make us tired.

Then I shoved some older woman who might have been my maternal grandmother, who was a bitch, and then spotted both siblings at a house party. That was the one I was bummed out to wake up from. It was weird too because before I went after my sister, I told my brother that if I never saw him again, I loved him and I wanted him to know it. The truth is I’m indifferent. I haven’t felt much for him either way for many years now.

In another dream, I was with a woman and another lesbian couple was going to move in with us. But then they decided not to because they wanted to move around and do certain things. My hair was in a braid that went past my ass in this dream.

Then I was in a house that looked like the first house I grew up in. In the middle of the living room by the fireplace sat a huge black woman who was old and not well. She was propped up on a bunch of pillows sleeping. In the back of the room on a couch was Tom’s mother. She didn’t have long to live and Tom was making sure she was comfortable before going in the kitchen to scrub the stove, which I told him I would take care of.

I was still a smoker in the next dream and lived in a two-story house. I stepped outside a large window or door and onto a metal overhang to have a cigarette. Its surface was slick with rain and I slipped off and onto the ground, but I wasn’t hurt. Then I headed around to knock on the front door for Tom to let me in.

In the last dream, we seemed to be in a rather modern home that was larger. I was looking for the perfect shoe spot in the living room for when we came in and kicked our shoes off.