Ugh, as soon as I return to PB, the tech issue starts up again. Josh took over for Simple Mind who didn’t know what he was doing, then Buffy took over for Josh who didn’t know what he was doing. So I’m just wondering when and who is going to take over for Buffy who also doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing.

From now on, I’m only doing monthly updates over there. Or maybe weekly, I don’t know. All I do know is that the site is not reliable enough to use every day. Also, I was never there to make friends but to drop another copy of my stuff on, so I don’t want unwanted attention, positive or negative, or unsolicited advice. Since I can’t allow comments from friends only, my only choice is to be all or nothing where that’s concerned. Since I’m only going to update in chunks, I’ll probably allow them.

Once again, I’ve been inconvenienced by someone I don’t even know, while I couldn’t inconvenience anyone else if I tried—not that I want to. I had finally gotten my allergies under control and was on track for a good night’s sleep until I woke up on my own. But then, at 4:30 in the morning, there was a power failure. The first time, it only lasted a minute. I eventually got back to sleep, only for the power to go out again at 7:30. This time, it was out for nearly three hours, and I was woken up from a deep sleep, right in the middle of a dream.

In the dream, I found myself in some sort of group home, assigned to a room that already had a woman in it. The room had bunk beds, and the top bunk was so high I couldn’t figure out how I’d manage to climb up there since the bottom was already taken. I left the room and started writing a letter to Tom, explaining that I thought I might be there for six months—a huge chunk of a rat’s lifetime. Strangely, in the dream, we had three male rats, not just one. When I went back to the room, the bunk beds were gone, replaced by two full-sized beds side by side with a small nightstand in between. I was relieved I wouldn’t have to worry about getting into bed anymore.

Later, when we went out to pick up my prescription, we saw them working on a pole in the opposite direction, so we assumed the outage was caused by an accident, as is often the case around here. There hadn’t been any storms, just some rain the night before, and I was surprised there was no thunder to add to the list of wake-up calls.

I swear, I’m damned if I sleep at night and I’m damned if I sleep during the day. It’s like I can’t win, no matter what. That's three fucking times I've been woken up in four days. Three times! It's like I'm back in CH. I’ve started to wonder if my only option is to train myself to sleep in chunks or try some kind of spell to help me get better rest.

I researched polyphasic sleep, which involves sleeping in segments, but I don’t think I can do it. It still requires a certain level of regularity, which I can’t achieve with my sleep disorder. Plus, I can’t make myself fall asleep on command. So even if I planned to sleep in chunks, there would be no guarantee I’d be able to.

AI recommended five different spells, most of which involve lavender, lavender oil, and blue or purple candles. I went through my witchcraft kit, and I have all of these items and more. I also have various crystals hanging above the bed on colored strings (or rather, a chain). I don’t usually believe in magic, and I’m not sure any of this will help. Every time I seem to fix one sleep issue, something else comes along to disrupt it. It really feels like there’s something out there intent on cursing my sleep.

On top of that, my back has been aching on the right side, just next to my spine. This is the third day I’ve had this problem, and I’m not sure if it’s because my ab muscles are weakening or something else. I can’t stick to a new exercise regimen if I don’t have the energy to stay consistent. I guess it’s time to get the massager out. I was using it after the first power failure, and I actually fell asleep while it was working. But as soon as it shut off after 10 minutes, I woke up—the slightest change in sound, and I’m wide awake.

The black blackout drapes are back up. Poor Tom had a hard time putting them up because he’s gotten so shaky. Next year he’s probably going to go on medication for it. Black or not, they look great and really warm the room. They kind of give me an added sense of security, even though they block heat and light a lot more than sound.