Thought I’d get some writing started as I lay in bed feeling shitty. I’m not just tired, but I feel like I either have severe allergies, a minor cold, or something worse. I hope it’s not COVID! I’m trying to find other solutions to nasal sprays and antihistamines since I don’t know how damaged my septum may be, and antihistamines make me drowsy.

I’ve been having headaches and lung tightness as well. Just in case the lung tightness, along with the weight loss, means I’m still over-medicated, I cut my waiting time in half again. It was horrible because every time I would fall asleep, I would wake up needing to suck air in through my mouth because my nose is stuffy. Even when it’s not actually running, it’s dry and stuffy toward the back, narrowing the passageways.

Nasal sprays, Benadryl, and eucalyptus oil in my diffuser haven’t helped as much as I’d like, any more than my saline spray. I did take a hit off my inhaler before bed, and it helped relax my lungs a little. He thinks it’s a combination of stress and allergies, but I don’t know, because I’ve never reacted this way to stress. I almost wish it was a cold because it will pass. If it’s allergies, then for them to get this bad means I’m going to have a rough life as long as I’m in Florida.

I’m just so fucking frustrated because I can’t get in to see any ENTs here. There is another group, but there’s a six-month waiting period. It’s absolutely ridiculous. Damn, do I miss my old ENT!

For now, the next step is to look into a decongestant that I can take with high blood pressure and my thyroid meds. From what I read, I need to stay away from Sudafed. That stuff makes me drowsy as well. Even the non-drowsy stuff makes me drowsy. I can’t win either way. Maybe saline sprays are my best option.

It’s very frustrating, and I’m worried that I’m so allergic to Florida that I’m going to suffer for as long as I’m here, which is almost certainly going to be for the rest of my life because I don’t see us ever in a position to move.

I found that I could buy a refurbished CPAP and headgear for under $500. I’m actually considering it so that I don’t have to deal with insurance companies and having to be by the phone periodically when suppliers call me to see if I still need supplies. It’s more money this way but more convenient as well. I really, really regret not forcing myself to get used to wearing the mask! Especially since I don’t know that I can get my weight down as low as it was before I started having heavy fatigue, or if it would change anything even if I could.

The only thing I question regarding a CPAP is that since I, like most people, breathe out of my nose only in my sleep, how would a mask help? I know the nasal pillow is not recommended for those with a deviated or collapsed septum or allergy issues but I still breathe out of my nose only.

Funny how I mentioned in my 2014 journal not having fatigue until I started the thyroid meds, and I did read it could cause that. I doubt my problem is from that though. I sure hope not, anyway!

So, Hurricane Helene turned out to be a little more than no big deal. Right after my last entry, we got slammed with tons of rain and winds close to 50 mph. We knew we didn’t have to evacuate, though, and that this house could handle those winds because it handled more just going down the road when it was brought in here in 1990. There was never any thunder with it as I saw forecasted in the hourly weather.

Then the real fun began when we lost electricity for 5 hours. We could tell it was a downed line by the way it went in and out before it stayed out. We decided that before next hurricane season, we’re going to invest in one of those thousand-dollar batteries where we could run fans and things like that. It only got up to 81° in here. That would be more tolerable if we were able to blast some fans.

We’re not as cursed as it seems at times because some people in the park are still without power, and when Tom went to donate, he turned around and came back because power was out all along 19 and many of the stores. Walmart says they’re not doing deliveries until Thursday, so we may have to go get our stuff, which would suck because Walmart would be a complete zoo. Maybe we could just grab a few things at Publix.

I really hope we don’t get any more hurricanes this year! The wind was fierce—you could really hear it and the rain on one side of the house. When I was in the bedroom, it almost sounded like it was going to tear the laundry room from the house.

I’m just so fucking sick of suffering. I really am. It’s darkening my thoughts more and more. I swear if it wasn’t for him, I would have been dead years ago. I just can’t get a break. I always, always have problems.

He was up over 18 hours, slept for five hours, and was fine. So this reinforces that there’s something going on in my sleep because when I’m up that long, I’m more tired the next day.

Like I said, I would have fallen asleep a few hours before I did if it wasn’t for the breathing issues, but I didn’t fall asleep for good until I had been up for 18 hours. I slept for six and a half hours, though. I still woke up a few times toward the end. I’m just not able to handle things like I could when I was younger.

In my ’90s journals, I was complaining about often being up for 18 hours, but it didn’t leave me totally exhausted the next day. Everything is so hard on me now, it seems. It’s even more frustrating when you’re not 100% sure what’s causing what since so many different things can have the same symptoms.

Right now, my nose isn’t running, but it still feels blocked, like there is dried-up congestion toward the back of it. My lungs aren’t too bad right now. The ibuprofen I just had to take helped my headache, but nothing seems to boost my energy. I don’t even have the energy to proofread this entry right now and post it, so I’ll just leave the draft sitting here for a while. I just need to close my eyes and rest.

Later…

Took a little nap but I swear I still feel like I have something. I’ve never had this feeling in my head before from allergies, even though allergies can indeed mimic the common cold (I just thought that was the sneezing aspect of it). Who knows how long it will be before I have the energy to hit the road and work on my story or my bio? Right now, I’m cooking chicken wings and veggies.