Andy hits the big five-oh today! Wonder how it feels to turn 50. Well, I’ll be finding out in 4 years.

This rat is driving me crazy. While most rats are attention-lovers like any old cat or dog, this guy’s really gotten to be quite an attention junkie lately, constantly begging for treats, and attention and to be let out to run around loose.

His fur is starting to thin out a bit since he’s around two years old now, and he’s about a pound overweight. Most Fancy rats get to be around a pound but with the way this guy loves to eat, he’s closer to two. I never held back on letting my rats indulge. Their lifespan is simply too short for that.

I’m indulging right along with him. Yeah, it was nice to wake up to the new me today who eats when she’s hungry and doesn’t pressure herself with set amounts of food and times she can eat. Yeah, it’s a little sad to think of how huge I’ll end up but I’m through being hungry for nothing, and believe me when I say I’m quite anorexic now compared to how I’ll probably end up. But there’s really nothing I can do about it at this point. At this age, it’s either starve for nothing or eat and get fat. I am, however, continuing to work out and hopefully slow down the gain process till after we get moved. That way I don’t have to spend money on new clothes that we could use to move with.

I’m not as hungry or eating as much since the pressure’s off, but at this age, it doesn’t take much to gain weight and I still think there could very well be something wrong with my thyroid/metabolism. I’ve wondered this for years, but since doctors are a no-no for me unless I really want to never be able to save money, I can only assume. The only thing obvious enough is my sleep disorder. Everything else is just speculation. But I don’t know if I’ll ever have the insurance to get anything diagnosed. Even the few with permanent jobs these days often don’t get insurance.

Alison told me what she knew of Josh from when she and Molly were still friends. He knows karate, loves swords, and has a temper. I guess he locked her in his apartment once “for her safety” and she couldn’t get out, and he also threatened her with one of his swords once.

Hey, that’s what every woman needs! A man who can threaten her with a sword. How utterly romantic, huh? rolls eyes Two peas in a pod for sure. I guess they’ve been engaged something like 4 times, too. Anyway, when the troll isn’t busy reviewing restaurants and movie theaters in Aly’s area, she’s making Aly nervous with more talk of Iowa. Yeah, much to Aly’s dismay she’s saying she’s going up there for two weeks, then will decide if she wants to move in with her sword-wielding stud. Hopefully, he’ll do more than just threaten next time:) I’ve always been as anti-violence towards women as one can get and I pray for the day a man attacks a woman in front of me (if it’s the other way around I’ll just laugh my ass off), but this one could use a lethal karate chop for damn sure.

I filled Tom in as always, and he said he wouldn’t worry about her tracking her down at work as people aren’t allowed to get anywhere near military bases. Also, if Josh is working 2-3 jobs like he supposedly is, he shouldn’t have much time for Molly let alone drive her to Omaha.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have, but I went and “poked” Nane on Facebook. I doubt she’ll poke me back or respond in any way.

Later…

Gave the rat a bath. Sometimes I wish we’d gotten him a roommate to help keep him clean. Rat skin sure is a greasy thing - ick! I used Johnson’s Baby shampoo (as recommended) because I figure if it’s gentle enough for babies it should be gentle enough for ratties. As always, though, he tried to jump out of the sink I filled up. I just don’t get that one. Rats are excellent swimmers. I checked the water temp, too. We have a gadget - I don’t know what it’s called - but if you point it at an object it tells you the temp of that object. IDK, maybe it was too cold??? Your standard shower temp is 120°, but I figured that’d be much too hot for a rat, so I stuck him in water that was 90°.

I was reading another journal - very well written, too - about a lesbian who was also dumped by a woman, but she had it worse than me. For one, she was actually with the woman. Secondly, she was madly in love with her. So if I can be hurt and angry over being dumped in cyberspace by a woman I never met, I can just imagine how rough it had to have been for her. People like Nane definitely make me not want to have many friends.

Most people online have treated me just fine. But every now and then I not only get trolled, but various kinds of rudeness and abuse. I’m still a lazy, lying excuse queen who got herself into nothing more than a “bad habit” of being on a crazy schedule and could get right out of it if I’d just “set my alarm and get up the same time every day,” according to those who have never heard of - and certainly don’t get - the 24-hour sleep/wake disorder. Hey, when in doubt, just tell us we’re full of shit. :)

Oh, and of course there are always those who don’t understand how the hell I could possibly have the nerve to be an “old-fashioned” housewife in 2012. Yeah, I got a lot of nerve, don’t I, making Tom do all the “work” himself. It’s really the rat that does the cooking, cleaning, laundry and grocery lists, folks, not me. And I believe it’s Whiskey who does the book writing while Brandy sews on buttons and hems pants. :)

Me? I don’t do shit. I just sit here and dream of moving to Florida. :)

Later…

Although I try not to I still can’t help but think of the pigs at times. And worry. I have strange dreams at times and I’m not sure if they’re merely a reflection of my paranoia or genuine warnings. Have they forgotten about me and moved on to more important things, or are they waiting to jump out at me sometime down the road? If they can’t get me for one thing, can/will they get me for something else? This is hard to know without knowing what it is they wanted to charge me with in the first place. I just know that if they can fabricate whatever that was, they can fabricate something worse. As in something federal. I’m not as worried as I was a month ago, but still a bit concerned. If they go federal on me then I’m not safe anywhere.

I want to wait until April to check again for any warrants. I don’t want to check too often and draw attention to myself. Certainly, they’ve got to be watching who looks for what. It won’t do me any good other than just to know if there is or isn’t a warrant, since I don’t intend to do anything about it unless I’m forced to. It would be just to satisfy my curiosity.

God help anyone who may try to make me do something about it! Really, the black bitch and the pigs have a lot of nerve after all the shit they’ve already put me through in the past. A lot of nerve!

I’m afraid to think of the pigs as if somehow those thoughts will draw them to me, but as pissed off as the thought of them makes me, I still can’t help but wonder what’s up.

Tom doesn’t think so but I’d be willing to bet they went by the Maricopa house to see if by chance I was still there. I doubt they went as far as looking up relatives to see if they could get an address from them, but stranger things have happened. They once pursued me as if I’d killed people, so you never know just how far they’d be willing to go.

I still don’t get why he had to also email the black pig to let him know they were “casing” me, but that goes to prove I was right and Tom was wrong; that was the black pig in the picture I pointed out to him in Oregon. Regardless, that was probably some kind of bait. My guess is the Mexican pig emailed the black pig in hopes of me emailing the black pig with something they could either use against me or at least alter in some way. If that wasn’t it, then maybe the Mexican pig thought it would cause me to panic in a way that would make me more likely to want to call the PD and go on the defensive.

As for the invalid Facebook email, I don’t know what that was about. I just know that as much as I hate winter I wish I could jump to the end of the year. At least we’d be moved by then (hopefully) and if God can look out for me this time, then I’d breathe a lot easier and think that yeah, being out of their jurisdiction saved me. Maybe even having the Internet in Jesse’s name helped, IDK. But it’s only been barely over a month since the pig informed me at 4 of my emails (one long deactivated), the black pig, and God knows who else, that they’re after me.