Q10 is an enzyme that when lacking in it a person can feel rundown. Hopefully, that’s all Tom needs and so he’s going to check into Q10 supplements to boost his energy. It’s all-natural and is said to help prevent high cholesterol and diabetes, too.

Just like yesterday, we’re expecting temps in the 70s. I’ve got the windows open. Love bringing in that fresh country air! Today’s been quieter so far whereas yesterday consisted of the usual comings and goings up the hill and scattered barks. Heard some barking today too, of course, but I’m sure it’s nothing compared to the 6-8 hours of barking I’ll be in for either tonight or tomorrow night. For some reason, they bark more when left alone between early November to mid-April. Unless it’s at night. Leave them alone at night and they go crazy no matter what time of year it is.

What’s amazing is that they’ve got rain on the 5-cast for next Monday and Wednesday. Yeah, well we’ll see how long it lasts before they change it to just clouds.

Nothing from the troll since she left that one single-sentence post about being in Iowa and having “fun.” Hopefully, she’s locked in a certain apartment, unable to get to McDonald’s Wi-Fi so she can have even more “fun” harassing and bashing people online.

I sort of played with Nane through Irene by commenting after a comment Irene left in regard to a comment from Nane on Irene’s wall. They exchanged greetings from sunny München and Salzburg, LOL. Then I came in and rubbed in our warm, sunny weather. Then I just had to thank Irene for being such a good friend and standing by me through my good AND bad times and taking me at face value.

One of these days I’m gonna quit defending myself when people insist I’m lying or making excuses about whatever (though fortunately, it doesn’t happen very often) and just give in to them, give them what they want and just be like, uh-huh, you’re right, etc. maybe telling people what they want to hear/believe is sometimes best because you simply can’t argue with ignorance and stupidity. Some people simply don’t want to see things any other way anyway and are so steadfast in their beliefs that they won’t budge no matter what you tell them. It would be like a person telling me that using birth control is a sin, but no matter how many times they tried to tell me this there’s no way I’m going to believe it. We can’t make others believe certain things any more than we can make ourselves believe certain things just because we may want to. If I could I just might tell myself there is a good God, I deserved every bad thing that ever happened to me, prayer and karma isn’t just a bunch of cosmic coincidences, and there really is an afterlife better than this life, and I’d believe every word of it even if I may be kidding myself.

But Irene has simply accepted my friendship without trying to guess “why” I’m so nice to her. She hasn’t accused me of trying to get attention when I tell her about a bad day. She hasn’t accused me of lying, making excuses or playing with her head. She doesn’t ignore me for months on end. Can’t promise she won’t dump me in the future, but I will say it’s hard to imagine.

As for Maliheh, that girl is just so hard to figure! I don’t think she’s doing a “Nane” number on me, but I don’t get it. I just don’t get it. If it isn’t me (and she’s always insisted it’s not and I know how outspoken she is), then why have I been hearing less and less from her? Sometimes I wonder if something else is going on – something that’s got nothing to do with me – but that she doesn’t feel comfortable sharing with me. That still doesn’t explain why I don’t hear much from her, though.

Still have mixed emotions about old Pointy Nose who apparently just returned from another fun romp down in TR. Hey, at least this time her little vacation didn’t have to be “spoiled” by my “plans.”

Sometimes I feel so hurt over the way she so coldly and callously dumped me I want to cry, other times I wanna let my evil side shine and put all kinds of spells on her to make her life unpleasant, and other times I wish we could resume our friendship, while I really wish I could stop caring. Really, I don’t want to give a shit about people like Nane who could do what she did to me. But I’m afraid I’m a little more forgiving than I’d like to be. I wish I could be a cold-hearted bitch. I have the power, know-how and experience to place spells that could really wreak havoc on her life and the people in it, but I just can’t bring myself to be that cold. I’m a prankster, I’m a weirdo, I’m a pest, but I’m not mean. If I saw her bleeding on the street, I’d be quick to stop and help her regardless of what she did to me. I hate being so damn nice and forgiving! But I am who I am and there’s not always much I can do to change that.

But there’s also only so much we can do to change others. How many times can I practically shake Nane by the shoulders and scream in her face, “I was NOT playing with you! I really did want to die and I thought I had no choice and would end up dead anyway!”

But I know Nane knew better. She may blame it on the language differences, but Nane’s English is actually better than half the natives I know, and Nane was/is very smart. You can’t work Wall St. and learn languages without at least somewhat of a brain. Nane knew I wasn’t playing with her head. She was simply trying to turn the tables and accuse me of doing exactly what she was doing to me. She was everything she accused me of being – a head player.

Then why oh why do I miss her at times and wish we could be buds again??? What the hell is wrong with me??? Don’t I have more self-respect than that? What’s wrong with me that I would want people back in my life who clearly aren’t good for me? She may be smart and fluent in English, but Nane was mean. Yet I miss her more than Maliheh – WTF???

Nane posted more pictures, one of which she’s in. She’s standing by the sea and since it’s February she’s in long pants/sleeves. She’s wearing sunglasses and it’s not a close-up, so you really can’t see her face.