What a shitty night and a shitty day! The storms woke us both up, and it's storming again now. It's just getting started again, so hopefully it won't go too far past when I want to sleep. Most of the storms may come in the afternoon to early evening, but not last night. It was a massive 3-hour storm that went from 11:30 to 2:30! It just went on and on and on, and the power went out twice.

I was on track for a decent sleep, too. This isn't just frustrating, but it's really starting to scare me. Almost every single fucking time I sleep, something wakes me up. It's just that these days, it's usually my CPAP or my own damn body instead of outside sources. I may be in good health now, other than the ongoing thyroid and CF issues, but how long before all these years of sleep disturbances break down my body? I'm okay with it and accept it if I were to die suddenly, but I don't want a long, slow, torturous death. Yet this just can't be good for my brain or body. Every fucking time I sleep, there's an issue. Every fucking time. Well, close enough, anyway.

My brain is barely functioning now. Just cooking and taking care of the dishes has been quite a task, on top of scheduling the appointment with my new endo. There's both good and bad in that. My worst fears of having to wait nearly half a year weren't realized, but the shitty thing is that because I stupidly asked Rhonda to mail me the referral rather than fax it, I can't get in Monday as I could have if I'd received it already, as they had a cancellation then. But the endo's office requires a referral, so I have to wait until October 27th. Better than 4-6 months but still seems quite a ways out.

I worry I won't be in good hands and that this guy will be worse than all the other endos I've seen because he and his staff have shitty reviews. Several people complain the staff is rude, and they are. Whatever bitch I talked to came off as impatient and defensive at times, and at one point she said she didn't understand why I was being snippy. I told her it wasn't her; it was just the whole situation, and I apologized if I came off that way, although I think I handled myself like I handle every other appointment I schedule. Nonetheless, I get why some reviews said they were rude. She was not a friendly person. I've talked to much friendlier people, even when I was a lot more frustrated than I am now.

The doctor was also said to be rude and impatient by some people. Tom said they mostly specialize in diabetes and that diabetics can be very unpleasant patients to deal with, and that may be why, but that's no excuse. I think if you're a rude person in general, you're going to be rude no matter who you're dealing with.

I'm sure he'll deny the medication can make you anxious, but I'll be quick to point out that I understand it's not the medication itself that can make me anxious, and luckily, I'm not going through perimenopause. But I can't increase my dose suddenly all at once. My body simply can't handle that. It has to be done slowly. I also can't quite get in the target range. A lot of these doctors just don't get or want to accept that one size doesn't always fit all. But I would like to get my TSH back to a five or six and keep it there. I also want to find out why it keeps yo-yoing, whether it's dying or absorption issues or what.

I messaged Rhonda and apologized for biting her head off and realized that she did make the right call by sending me to an endo, and told her I increased my 50 mcg selenium supplements to daily instead of every other day. I then asked if I should add half a levo pill a week or not.

At this point, I definitely want to keep my lab appointment so I can have recent numbers to give the endo. I assume Rhonda still wants to see me virtually as well. If I don't have any luck with this guy, then I might have to trade Rhonda in for an MD, which she mentioned as an option since an APRN can only do so much. One of the docs I saw one day when she was out was nice, but I don't know the other one. I think there are at least two doctors in that office.

Anyway, that's the least of my concerns right now. One step at a time. Tom is out now getting new tires nearby, so hopefully that goes well, and they're still available, and at the price they were listed at.

I am horribly, horribly tired! I mean beyond exhausted. If it weren't for speech-to-text, I doubt I could do this entry. I've had to sleep in segments, and I'm trying not to fall asleep too early and make my glaucoma appointment too long of a day; at the same time, I worry about storms keeping me up longer than I'd like. So, lots of stress going on lately. We still have another six or seven weeks of storm season, and who knows what we may get for canes. Still love the weather here, though.

Today and yesterday, I swear I heard the slam of a loud truck in back, but they haven't picked up any dirt piles yet. The Party Girl is having some project done too, but nothing too annoying.

Made tuna noodle casserole when I got up, and it came out good. So, as I said, I've been functioning here at home, but barely. I have to stop and lie down a lot because I'm so exhausted between the sleep disturbances, running on low thyroid, and PEM from all the walking I did yesterday.

I didn't take anything before bed yesterday except for magnesium and Claritin because I was outdoors. I remember fragments of dreams, but nothing that makes sense.

In one dream, we discovered a really clever way to paint our walls for next to nothing. I chose a yellow and orange color scheme that I would never choose in real life and thought to myself it would be nice to change colors every five years. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go with pink and purple next time or green and blue.

Then I was peering through some guy's ground-floor apartment window at night. He had his back to me as he sat on his couch watching TV. I somehow knew the guy, too.

Then I walked up to a sink, and the water pressure was low, and what water was coming out was dirty.

In the last dream, I slept with my pillbox right by my pillow and realized I accidentally took an extra levothyroxine. Because my thyroid was low, I didn't panic. I simply spit it out. So just bits and pieces of senseless dreams.