Did some digging out of curiosity on the brother-fucker’s child-woman. Couldn’t find much cuz the two are apparently rather private.

I still don’t know if the “great-grandchild” mentioned in the obit was Jen’s kid or even if Jen really does have a kid, but I was wrong in assuming the brother-fucker and his child-woman already had a kid and were still in MA. The child-woman is “counting down the days till Larry holds their newborn” so she said on a site that suggests she is beyond obsessed with the idea of having a kid. Also, last fall they moved to the Ft. Lauderdale area south of my mother, which explains why he could spend so much time at her place. This was because it was “best for their relationship.” Yeah, I would think so if I’d been committing statutory rape for many years. I would think the child-woman’s family would be on her ass big time about being with someone nearly 30 years older and that would leave her widowed at around my age if they get married, not that he would stay with her that long. I know Larry, a happily admitted slut who’s had a million affairs just while he was with Sandy alone. As soon as she gets a little older, he’ll drop her like a hot potato. This girl is young and naïve in every sense of the word. If he couldn’t be faithful to anyone else, why would he be to her? Or is she just too stupid to realize just what a slut he is? And while we may not be able to help those we love, and some would rather take some time with them than no time, why would you want a baby whose father will be dead when it’s only around 20?

The child-woman looks eerily like a young Sandy; dark and plain. Her FB profile is almost all private with no method of contact present. This doesn’t surprise me as I really think the perve not only abandoned Sandy but his daughter as well. With the exception of sex, he’s always preferred the company of his own gender and I really think he favored Larry Jr. over Jen big time because Larry was a boy. So he would tell his child-woman to close all ports so Jen couldn’t tell her what a fool she is, along with members of her own family.

Even though I’ve only talked to Jen a few times when she was 10 and saw her a few times as a baby, I can just imagine how awkward it must feel to watch her father run down to Florida with someone younger than her and end up having a kid 30 years younger than her.

On the baby site where pregnant women and moms post things about their kids and all that, she’d comment on tons of pictures of baby furniture and accessories and the main highlight of her comments was basically, “I want, I want, I want.” And where does she think she’s going to come up with the money for all these things? The thought of a pervert and some naïve bimbo with a child living it up while my husband and I live like bums in a trashy old trailer really has a way of turning my animosity for God up a notch. They’ve no doubt got insurance while I can only dream of being insured and getting my sleep disorder officially diagnosed and my disability reinstated, but that’s another thing I have bad news about which I’ll get to later.

All this kid’s naïve and no doubt false ideas about motherhood (she seems to think it will be all fun and games) and all her aaahs and ooohs are going to turn to screams real fast when she’s up all night with the kid screaming only to find that the cradle robber she loved and trusted so much is out getting drunk and doing some male bonding at some bar while checking out kiddy ass…

She doesn’t seem to know the gender. Oh, I hope it’s a girl! I really do!

When I ran her name I was sent to a site that accumulates sites she’s associated with or that has info on her, some of which you have to pay for. While she has no blogs that I could find a tag cloud appeared and one of the names mentioned was Tammy. As in my sister Tammy?

The thought of that pervert and his mistress getting any inheritance really burns me up. Tom pointed out that it’s mom’s money and therefore she has the right to do what she wants with it and that we’re not entitled to anything and should see anything we might get as a bonus, but it’s not that easy to think that way. Technically he may be correct even though some would say I deserve it after the shit she’s put me through. I still think the money’s draining fast and that they probably owe money on stuff (why else would we have found online that they took loans out on some things?) and that we’re only going to get 10-20 grand each, but what if I’m wrong? I don’t think I am, but what if she does leave behind a substantial amount of money? Well, I’m sorry but I don’t like the idea of that child-woman getting some of it when she’s not only hated by most of the family and practically a stranger to it but when my husband and I are so, so needy so much of the time. Just because things are going well for us now doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way. I fear God won’t let it. But because we have struggled so damn much due to a combination of cruel fate and poor judgment call on our part, that’s why I’m all the more concerned about money even when things are going well, and they are. They posted 5 jobs today at work, 3 of which Tom is going to apply for. They’ll be taking apps through Friday. The only ones he didn’t put in for would be a serious demotion for him.

Either way, the thought of the child-woman getting a part of that money is almost as bad as if some stranger on the street got part of it. Tammy messaged me tonight and said she feels the same way and that he’ll be “six feet under” before he gets anything and that we’ll keep him away from it and she mentioned the courts but I don’t see how that would do us any good. What can she do, go to court and tell the judge, “I don’t want my brother to get anything because I don’t like him very much?” So unless she knows something I doubt I would think all it would do would tie up and delay things for years, but what do I know?

“What have you got against this unborn child?” Tom asked me, and that’s easy. The more grandkids, the less for us. I don’t care anymore how selfish I may sound, and maybe they only left things to their kids and not their grandkids, but I would think they’d leave all the grandkids at least a little something. So if the child-woman goes and has 5 more kids before mom dies, that’s less money for those of us who deserve it, even though I still don’t think she has much or that we’re meant to have much money through any source. Expenses are up, property values are down, and I highly doubt they got the store for the fun of it or just to keep active like Dad said. Everyone says that kind of thing. So, she’s not poor, but she certainly isn’t rich. Once you turned everything into cash and omitted taxes and what they owed money on, you’re probably talking 60K. Split between 3 kids that’d be 20K each. Add the grandkids and that could drop it to 10-15K. She still didn’t give me any details, if she knows any (she’s trying to get me to call her), so I asked if she could just give me a rough guess of an estimate. That and his job are going to determine when we go where.

The only thing she said that I don’t agree with is how she “tried” to tell Mom what he said to her and her grandkids but she didn’t want to hear it. Well, as even Tom agrees, 54 is a little too old to be running to mommy when you get pissed at someone. I have always HATED that with a passion when people would get mad at me and then drag others into it and get people involved that didn’t have a damn thing to do with it. As I would tell anyone, if I’M the one you’re mad at come to ME about it or else I’m gone. That, calling me a liar when I’m telling the truth, defending my perps, being a hypocrite, trying to change/judge me, being a liar or not doing what you say you’re gonna do is the quickest way to lose me. It’s ok to go to someone about someone neither of you are buddies with, but if I get pissed at Andy, for ex, I’m going straight to HIM. Not his mother, not his sisters, not his other friends, just to HIM. I just feel it’s best to operate that way so you don’t end up stuck in the he said/she said game or putting anyone on the spot and pitting people against others. I’ve been there before. It only causes more grief. A part of me wonders if I should’ve stayed away, though I don’t regret being in touch with my dad in the end. I’m glad we got a chance to catch up on life once again and that he got to read my last book.

Either way, I’m not surprised she brushed her complaints off. Most parents don’t want to side with their kids or pit one against another. I’m sure she’d have told me or the statutory rapist the same thing. As much as we may like to, one can’t convince their mom to dump one of their kids simply because her other kids would like her to and think it would be a wise idea.

Oh, and she also said the pervie thinks we’re fucked up. Gee, that hurts! Really, I couldn’t care less about what he THINKS. Or anyone else for that matter. It’s what people DO that matters. So he’s welcome to think I’m the biggest fuck-up on earth. :)

The only other thing she said was that her kids told Larry where to go. Yeah, I tried to warn Lisa away from Larry back in the 90s in Phoenix, knowing she was making a mistake but I also knew it was one she was simply going to have to make. Sometimes we gotta fuck up in order to learn our lesson and see things for ourselves. I’m sure countless people have warned the child-woman also, but she’ll just have to end up sorry she didn’t listen, won’t she?

sighs I wish they’d both get hit by a truck or something. Really, I can feel that old familiar rage vibrating within me towards Larry and just the whole damn family drama in general, reminding me of just why I walked away from it all in the first place 14 years ago. I wish to hell that cock would materialize in this room just for 60 seconds so I could knock every last tooth out of his mouth, I really do! But as soon as mom goes and I get my share, however small it may be, I’m walking away from the others forever. I simply don’t need or deserve this shit in my life. And if anyone wants to judge me for it, I don’t need them in my life either. I’m not looking at them as “family.” I’m looking at them as the people they are and I don’t like them at all, particularly the pervert and the drama queen. The rest I could do with or without, though I pretty much have to do without. It’s the only way to break the negative connection altogether. Keeping in touch with anyone else would be like being friends with the mother of the guy that raped you.

OMG, I want to attack Larry so badly!!! The desire is almost physical I am just so, so fucking enraged right now. Thank God I wasn’t there! Oh, I wouldn’t have minded the part where he went to the hospital. It’s the part where I would’ve gone to jail I’d mind. I have so much rage in me that it would be so easy to get carried away and end up killing the bastard if he were in front of me now, and well, I wouldn’t get any inheritance if I were in prison, that’s for sure.

Some would say I should feel this sort of rage for Tammy since she got me in jail, and I do and that’s the main reason I intend to dump her one last time someday. But guys have a way of getting me going easier what with their macho, I’m-so-tough attitude. IDK, it just makes a bitch like me more eager to take them down a peg or two and get a good laugh at their embarrassment, and I know I could hurt my brother despite the fact that he’s over a foot taller than me. Contrary to popular belief, size and gender aren’t what determines fighting ability. It’s all about fitness, rage and determination. I wish more women were like me. If women were the “angrier” sex instead of men, the belief that men are “stronger” than women would fade quickly. But that’s just life for you – people base things on gender, color, race and size all the time. They believe fat people are the filthiest and all kinds of other BS and false stereotypes.

Ugh! Just ugh! I am so fucking pissed at my brother and his child-woman. I just don’t know what to do. If the pervert was single or he was still with Sandy, I could live with him getting part of the inheritance. But it’s not. It’s a 21-year-old bimbo with a child he’s too old to be having and she’s too young to be having. Again, what the hell was he thinking at 58, that he could replace his dead son?

Where I was finally relieved to know that after all these years I wouldn’t have to deal with family funerals after all, now I gotta deal with not only money going to those it shouldn’t go to, whether it’s mine to decide on or not, but also me possibly not getting anything at all if someone should either try to screw me out of it or it ends up tied up in court for years and the court decides in the end that no one shall have anything. I hope I’m worrying for nothing in this case too, but I’d rather not have things pissing me off and stressing me out so badly. The possibility of the pigs and blacks still coming after me is enough. And the thought of him getting laid off even if that’s looking less likely. Still, I’m really worried about April. If we can get to May without the pigs and blacks harassing us, I’ll breathe a lot easier. This is still a whole 6 weeks away.