Living in different places has been fun and even educational, but I’m at the point in life now where I would really love to find the ideal place to settle down in and that I can consider our forever home even if it’s someone else’s. But is that meant to be for us? Is there even such a place? It seems there’s something wrong with just about every place we live in and we end up wanting out, though I will admit I’m pickier than most and I won’t put up with some things most people are ok with. Most people are ok with excessive barking (obviously, or else it wouldn’t be all over the place, particularly in the West), but that’s just something I could never get used to. I tried to adapt to it and I wanted to adapt to it, but even quick barking sprees that are frequent annoy the shit out of me. A few barks once or twice a day I could handle. But half a dozen or more “few barks,” or barking fits that go on for hours at a time is just not something I can get accustomed to. I wish I could be ok with any and all types of sounds cuz then I’d want to run out and just rent a 2-bedroom/2-bath apartment. That way it’s someone else’s so they have to be the ones to tend to the yards and spend the time and money fixing whatever breaks. Being sandwiched in with people above and around us would help keep it cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter. If only – if only – I could just be ok with noise and was a heavy sleeper!

Realistically, I can’t just snap my fingers and make myself this oh-so-noise-tolerant person just because I want to be. But I also don’t want to stay here – the dogs, the vehicles, the saws, the well, the lack of thermostat and up duct where the cooler is concerned, the lack of space, the lack of outlets, the DSL…enough is enough! On top of all this, I’m also not so sure Florida would be a smart idea for a few reasons. Yes, I’d like the warmer climate, and yes, I like the idea of living where most dogs are household pets, but I’m sick of moving every few months to a few years just to find out that it’s not quite all I hoped it would be and that we were wrong in thinking certain things would be better or easier somehow.

I know the economy was 99% to blame as far as how rough we’ve had it here, but that doesn’t change the fact that for reasons we can’t possibly fathom, something up there hates us. It “gets” us when we’re most vulnerable, and unless you’re rich, making a long-distance move puts you in a pretty damn vulnerable spot. It’s like leaping from one building to another. While you’re in midair is when you’re most vulnerable. Until you land on that other building, just about anything and everything could go wrong, and if things could go wrong for us they usually do.

Another thing to consider is that no climate is perfect and no neighborhood is 100% quiet all the time. So maybe I should aim to make the next stop the last stop. At least in an adult community, even if there is some barking and excessive company at the neighbors, we’ll have the convenience of the city without the circus. I miss being able to drink tap water and get mail delivered right to our door, and I really miss cable.

The last reason to make the next stop the last is the savings. Think of how much money we could have for other things if we weren’t trying to save 10-20 grand for another move!

Tom got an automated call on Friday where they wanted 20 people for a job in Roseville. Another sign that things are picking up should he get laid off, but we sure hope he doesn’t! Really we don’t want to keep having to start over and over again. Instead, we’re hoping they post those jobs they mentioned posting and aren’t just all talk where that’s concerned.

I have the PMS from hell and I feel like I jumped from a 40C to a 50D in just minutes. :( But relief isn’t coming till Tuesday. :( I gained a ton of weight yesterday, though I suppose some of it is water. But if I do it “right” and I get this water off and then continue on with my diet and exercise, I’ll lose the weight, right? Not! Obviously, something’s gone coo-coo with my thyroid. I just hope I don’t have to wait till I’m 65 to be insured and able to have a doctor run tests.

It hit me that my mystery subby may not be able to reply to me because I have my account set to accept messages and friend requests from friends of friends only due to the troll.

The freeloaders and pigs still worry me and I sometimes think of walking away from my online life entirely, but then I stop myself and say, “Hey, don’t let them control you like that! You’ve done nothing wrong. Don’t let them win or take anymore from you than they already have in 2011 and 2012, as well as from 1996-2003.”

At least they haven’t taken shit from me this decade as opposed to the last two and I intend to do everything I can to keep it that way by not giving them a foundation to build any shit. So I still have to lay low at least somewhat for our protection. If they’re gonna pounce though, next month is most likely since they seem to do something every quarter starting two quarters ago.

Tom reminded me that we don’t know for sure that that was a real cop who emailed me. That’s true. How are we to really know who’s on the other end of the computer? It probably was and I don’t doubt the black bitch went wailing to the pigs because that’s what the vindictive, vengeful hater does. But again, he has a point. What if the Google investigation messages and then the one about making a case were nothing more than a clever scheme devised by her and her friends, particularly her little pig pal? After all, his was a couple of the addresses the second message was sent to. And what if they got a cell phone and opened an email account just in hopes of me contacting one of them? And what if the plan was to eventually try to distort money maybe through some kind of threat like demanding I pay up or get arrested? Still wouldn’t explain how they got the email addy I opened for Paula, but then again, if it was a real cop, how’d they miss my Hotmail addy? Perhaps they sent messages to all the addies associated with Google only since the blog was powered by Google. But the old feistydawn addy I had in Maricopa wasn’t connected to Google at all, so it might have or might not have been a real pig. At least one other than the black pig. I don’t know and I don’t want to know. In fact, any more messages I get from them won’t even be opened. They will simply be marked as spam. I am not going to play their games and I am not going to let them seize control of my life, freedom, and bank account as they did in the past. Ever! I shouldn’t have even opened the last one much less messaged Tom about it. I should’ve been smart enough to know they’d know the message was opened if it was some other pig, and that they’d be tracking those email accounts at least for a while.

Again, it’s pretty sad that they would put their time and resources into me, but you know what? It’s their time and their resources! As long as they don’t fuck with me, they can waste time legally stalking and following my every move online. I’m not going to let that feeling of being “watched” stop me, though I do still have it very much.

But what the hell is going on with Molly? No more views or posts. Not even any reply to Aly’s trollicious message/comment. I was surprised when Aly told me she didn’t peak in on her yesterday. Why me instead? Because I write more than Aly does? Maybe it’s not really her after all but the mother hoping to “trap” us somehow, though I agree more with Aly’s theory. She thinks the troll’s mommy is just really watching her really closely lately.

It’s almost eerie just how much the child-woman looks like a young Sandy. Yes, I’ve seen pictures of little Miss Stefanie H. Didn’t contact her, though. What could I say? That she’s made the dumbest mistake of her life?

It is sick, though, thinking of my brother with a 21-year-old who was supposedly 14 when they met, and a kid 30 years younger than his other youngest. What the hell was he thinking? That he could replace Larry Jr.?

Most people use the cops to spite those they’re pissed at, but my attitude is why use a middleman when I can just go straight to the source? Besides, the cops aren’t always the friend some people would like to think they are with all the corruption going on out there, and well, running to them has a way of backfiring on people at times same as lodging city complaints. So unless someone was threatening to kill me, I doubt I’d call on the pigs. Probably not even then. My point? Well, when I was in the midst of my grief with learning Dad died and all that I contemplated flying to FL. But not just to help out Mom in any way that a person who doesn’t drive can help. No, I wanted to get the pervie alone and kick the crap out of it. But he not only has the right to fuck up his own life as well as the life of some young, naive little sucker, but he’s also not worth the money or the ticket to jail. I’m simply too much younger and in too much better shape and I know I could really hurt him badly, not that I don’t love the idea of him being sent straight to Comaland or worse.