Last night Tom was worried about the idea of me having a heart attack since my left arm hurt. I laughed at the idea, of course, though I took the aspirin he suggested I take. Today, though, it’s plenty obvious that the “heart attack” is definitely pulled muscles. I may work out, but it isn’t every day I lift and carry old mattresses around.

Today is cold, rainy, and definitely won’t hold a 4-hour sawing session for me to have to either listen to or drown out with sound machines. Just what the hell is it they’re doing up the hill??? They must be building something cuz even in this forest they’d have had to run out of trees to cut by now as this has gone on steadily for the last 6 months. Besides, I can tell by the sound of it that they’re not cutting trees. This is something they’re building. A stable for horses? A shed? Something else? I just wonder when they’ll go over a week without sawing. When we move?

No motorcycles today either. :) No guarantees on the barking, though.

I’m definitely not in the mood to work out today, but I’m going to anyway. I’m just going to run, though, and let my arms and abs rest. I’m now able to go a few miles in a half-hour. :)

I feel like it’s 50° in this room when in fact it’s 70°, so it’s the ideal temp for working out.

They asked him if he’d be available to work Saturdays. We’d take this as an encouraging sign if he hadn’t already been asked this a million times. March and April have me nervous. March 22nd was his last lay-off. April will mark 6 months of smooth sailing, the longest we’ve been allowed to go so far in Cali with things going well for us. Will we break our record?

Later…

My nails look kind of yucky and I can’t stand to leave them unpolished. Ironically enough, though, that’s part of what makes them look bad.

The new bed arrived and I will be sleeping in heaven tonight! Tom and I were setting it up a little while ago.

For a while now I was worried my computer was hijacked because I kept hearing this sound that I thought was the hard drive cranking away like crazy, but it turns out that one of the fans has gotten a bit loud. Tom installed a CPU temperature monitor on it and all seems to be running well.

I ended up hearing not one single sound today. I really thought I’d hear at least some barking and maybe the landlord’s truck, but instead, I heard nothing but the rain and the wind. I loved that much, but not the cold. Too many more days of this and I won’t mind going back to hearing chainsaws and other things. I like rain, but I despise cold with a passion! It shocked me to learn that Nebraska was in the 80s. I guess right now only NorCal is being picked on, but Mother Nature has a way of sweeping across the country. She’s just starting from left to right this time. :)

The troll must have been in the funny farm for the last week. There’s no way all of her accounts wouldn’t have some activity for this long. Besides, if she can’t harass people from home, she runs to the library to do it from there. Something’s gotta be up. Probably threatened to kill herself or her parents after being elbowed and dumped by Loverboy. I’m sure she’ll be back within a week to harass people.

Aly and I suspect that someone appearing to be in her account was a glitch. I think it was the mother, who on the 6th, deleted her stuff and looked in on my blog while she was at it. Then again, there’s been no sign of the troll on Thoughts since before the 6th. So that “last activity” on the 6th, which matches the date I suspect mommy peeked into my blog, was probably Mommy Dearest complaining to the Thoughts staff that she knows I’m talking about her darling daughter even though I never use her real name there. If mommy’s been reading anything after the 6th, then she caught onto TIP and disabled her cookies.

Why don’t you just toss your cookies, bitch! And keep that crazy kid of yours locked up! But as Aly pointed out, past experience has taught us that she always comes back. A part of me misses laughing at the utterly psychotic shit she’d post, but I’m loving the break from her, not that she knows how to get a hold of me at the moment. What I don’t miss is her trashing Aly in public with real names. Maybe she’s finally learned that she’ll get ratted out to Mommy whenever she does that. Then again, the mother’s just as fucked and Aly’s given up on getting any real help from her. Especially when she told Aly to let her know if she bashes her again, then when she does, she gets told the troll’s behavior is partly her fault. Argh!

Tammy messaged me saying that the reason she hadn’t written was that she’d been sick. She got sick in Florida, something I do every time I go there. I think it has to do with the sudden climate change. She said the flight back was bad that’s how sick she was, and even two rounds of antibiotics couldn’t kill her ear infection since she has no immune system.

Then it was off to bitch about how sick Larry is and something about wishing him and his fucking 21-year-old bitch, who wanted to be the first of her friends to get pregnant, nothing but the worst.

Ok, so let me get this straight. We live in an era when it’s not “hip” to be a mom as opposed to a career woman and while most men won’t even let their own wives get pregnant, my brother-fucker gets this child-woman knocked up??? But I thought the “great-grandchild” was on account of Jen. Either way, it’s sad. Just sad. Most people under 30 – make it 40 for the extra immature – are simply too young to end their lives in parenthood. There’s so much to learn, see and do in life before you bury yourself in diapers, sleepless nights, and babysitters. But it’s their lives to stunt and throw away. So what if stupidity usually breeds stupidity, and so what if it’s scary to think that these “children” will be running the world tomorrow?

She also said they have nothing to their lives and are nothing, but like I said before, he must be doing at least somewhat good in order to take that much time off from work to be with Mom. Besides, I know how God works. He blesses the assholes and lets the good people suffer from poverty or diseases and all kinds of shit. Yes, the brother-fucker lost a son way back when, but I can’t believe the guy has ever had any major health or financial problems.

Lastly, she said someday judgment will come his way.

Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking like how she says Dad is with us and looking after us. Again, how can we know this for sure? And if Tom were laid off again, does that mean Dad’s not looking out for at least me???

I haven’t heard back from her but I got up the nerve to ask if she knows what’s in the will. Right or wrong, selfish or not, I can’t help but be curious. I still don’t expect much. It would totally go against what has always seemed to be in our cards. We know we can have up to 10K because we’ve gotten/won around that much before. But why would we have spent so much time struggling if we were suddenly meant to have money? IDK, it just seems as odd as Tom one day waking up short and me waking up tall. It just doesn’t seem to fit God’s so-called “plan” for us. He obviously wants us to suffer most of the time. He has allowed us to be beaten over the heads with money so badly, so many times. Why would this suddenly be it, only to get even better after mom goes, if you could really call that “better?”

I also don’t think they have much money because of the store and medical costs they’ve had to deal with that Medicare doesn’t cover. I think they once had a lot of money, but since property values go down, that would reduce the will right there. Also, I still can’t believe they would be working in their 80s just for the fun of it, and I know how expensive medical costs can be, so I don’t think they have much anymore.

I still say “they” even though it’s just mom now.

I don’t think Mom’s poor, but she’s probably only just a little comfortable. Time will tell, though a part of me would rather both my parents have lived on despite the abusive history. It’s the siblings I could really do without!

Although I shouldn’t feel bad for her after the shit mom did to me years ago, the poor woman has had lung and breast cancer and God knows what else is going on with her. Then again, maybe she’ll be like Tom’s mom and just keep living on and on and on. Not likely, though, since there was only a 1-year age difference between my folks and not an 11-year difference.

Oh, and I don’t know what Tammy was thinking but she tagged me in a photo I’m not even in. It was this picture of her kids, her stepdaughter and Mark, which I’ve seen before. The poor girls are so huge they almost look like overblown sex dolls with bad hair.