Every now and then I watch random YouTube vids at the end of my day when I’m too tired to do anything productive yet not ready to sleep. I watched one vid sentencing two 25-year-old black girls to life for beating a 3-year-old girl to death that belonged to one of them. 

The reaction was classic. One fainted silently, the other hit the floor hyperventilating loudly. Both had to be wheeled out in chairs. 

Mama nigress screamed like a hyena and tried to push forth to one of the monster nigresses. “That’s my baby!” she screamed as she was led out of the courtroom. 

Yeah, well, her “baby” killed a child in cold blood. Just wondering how that must make her feel, but if she’s like most mothers, she probably believes the death was an accident. And if the killers are like most killers, they too, would believe, or at least say the same thing. 

As one who has always been curious and fascinated with the human mind, I just wonder if these people are even capable of feeling any guilt if they can at least admit to themselves, that they killed an innocent child. 

Later… 

It seems the only time I’m not dizzy these days is the first few hours of my day. It really sucks. While it’s nice that I read that only 5% of cases of dizziness are serious, and I’m pretty sure that this is related to perimenopause, I’m not going to rest assured until I see my doctor. She’s still 11 long days away. 

I didn’t take any lorazepam before bed and therefore I ended up sleeping shitty. I don’t remember having any hot flashes or my heart getting too racy, but it’s like I was “startled” awake halfway through my sleep. As Tom said, we definitely gotta check into the possibility of sleep apnea. After lying there a while, I finally took a lorazepam. If I’m going to need to take it before bed at least while I’m in the peri stage, fine. It’s such a low dosage. 

The only problem is that I’m still prone to side effects and don’t know if I’d have the guts to even take anything she may recommend to help me. I’m going to have to with the dizziness, though, cuz it’s just too frequent. I looked at some OTC stuff online (not that I want to take anything before seeing her) and they listed all the major symptoms except for dizziness. The only mood I saw mentioned on the OTC stuff was “irritability.” Nothing about anxiety or depression. Most just said mood swings, which I take to mean when one is being a bitch. 

We’re having the strangest weather in all the years we’ve lived here. Another cold snap along with rain. It almost never rains this late into the year. Every time I think summer is here to stay, we end up having to put the heat on. So here I am bundled up in socks and a robe when I would rather be barefoot and sleeveless. If all goes well we’re looking at possibly moving to Florida in about 8 years instead of 12 since Hawaii is almost certainly out of the question. 

They just laid off half a dozen or so people at work, so Tom should be safe for at least another year. 

The Bluetooth speaker still stutters when reading audiobooks, but does a good job with music. Since it was cheap, I’m using it in the bathroom rather than sending it back. Why not listen to music while I’m showering? 

Wish Tom was up. I’m a little lonely and depressed, but I need to learn to cheer my own self up. I may not be suffering like last year, but it still sucks. I’m dizzy. I have no energy. My ear’s been bugging me more. I can’t sleep. I’m borderline anxious/depressed at times, and tonight I’m cold, too. :( Is it really going to get better for me? 

Later… 

Who do I want for president? I’ve been asked this a few times. First of all, I’ve never bothered to vote because I’m just not big on politics in the first place. I do tend to prefer to see Democrats in power more than Republicans because Dems are less hateful towards women and gays. 

As a bit of a sexist, I’m inclined to want Hillary. The only woman I was glad to see fail was Palin because of her narrow-minded bigotry and her being all about family when her own family was a pretty pathetic example. Oh, the hypocrisy. 

To me, a woman should have the right to choose, and there are no “norms.” It doesn’t matter if you’re single with/without kids. It doesn’t matter if you’re married with/without kids. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay and single or gay and married with/without kids. All that matters is love, respect, fairness, acceptance, honesty and consideration. So… just because you may be straight and married with 2.whatever children, it doesn’t make you “normal” or “correct.” You’re just straight and married with 2.whatever children. Period. 

What I don’t support is the growing tolerance and favoritism of our more problematic groups. Therefore, while I don’t care for Trump’s hatred of gays, Jews and women, I do support his views on immigration and Muslims. The only problem is that there isn’t much he can do about these things. Presidents can’t just make laws. So how does he think he can keep Muslims out of the US? 

In the end, politicians are all the same. They’re all liars. They all fail to do what they say they’re going to do. And they’re all just greedy, power-hungry, self-serving little beings on the planet. 

Anyway, we went walking earlier but it was a bit chilly so we were only out there for 15 minutes. There were tons of little flies since it recently rained. I’m hoping that this is FINALLY it and summer is going to kick in to stay. It’s predicted to be a mild one, which is both good and bad. It’s bad for the solar-heated pool and could invite more outdoor activity, but it’s good for the electric bill, sleeping and working out. 

I’m not as dizzy today. The only bad thing is that Jackie’s house is for sale. Goodbye, quiet neighbor. Hello…? 

I just dread all the vehicle door slamming I’ll be in for as the house is shown and the newbies move in. That house is closer to us than the women who moved in next to them, which thankfully, have been nice and quiet so far. But can we get that lucky again with this house? They have no garage, but you can never know what you’re in for till you get it. I’m sure there’ll be plenty of people parked alongside our driveway till they get settled, too. 

What will be next to go up for sale? The house in back? Geri? Geri doesn’t seem that old, though, and I’m guessing next door has another decade or so left in them. 

Slept better last night, and am looking forward to a late dinner at Denny’s. Might stop at Walgreens after that, too. 

I swam in the ocean in my dreams, and then I showed off my new manicure to a huge woman. Pink flowers and green leaves adorned my nails. They’re blue with magenta glitter in reality.