Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Slept ok last night (without lorazepam) if you consider waking up 5 times and being restless 25 times “ok.” This is what Fitbit said, anyway. This is the first time my HR hit down in the 60s in nearly a week while I slept. Upon waking up I wondered if I went from having tachycardia to bradycardia when I saw the number 58 before I realized that was the number of steps I had taken between midnight and when I got up, and not my HR. 

So much for thinking returning to my vitamins would help with the dizziness because it’s back today. Well, maybe I’ll at least have fewer dizzy days. But WHAT the fuck is causing it? Low thyroid? Inner ear? An infection? Perimenopause? My guess is still the last one. My thyroid’s ever so barely considered low, Doc O doubted my ear is the cause, and so I’m going with peri unless I find out otherwise. I just want to hurry up and find out and do something about it (that hopefully won’t kill me along the way), but I have a few weeks before I see Doc A. 

She replied to my message and said that she’s actually testing my thyroid the week before since I’ll no longer be seeing Doc O, and then I have to be “evaluated” before I can have any other blood tests. 

I don’t get it. My thyroid was just tested less than a month ago, so why does she need to test it again so soon whether I return to Doc O or not? 

Met with a couple of unpleasant people from my past in Dreamland last night. First was Maliheh. I asked her if she ever figured out why she dumped me without even so much as the courtesy of an explanation. I mean even Alison, as cruel and as unwarranted as it was, told me she was dumping me. 

In a matter-of-fact tone of voice, Maliheh said, “No, but I think I’m on the verge of figuring it out.” 

Then Kim called. No, not the one in MA, but the crazy one in CT. It was funny too, cuz even though I never heard her voice in real life, I recognized it as Kim and seemed both surprised and happy to hear from her. 

Then I dreamed that I overslept for something important (a doctor’s appt?) and realized I’d have to make a point of attending whatever I failed to attend that day tomorrow morning no matter what. 

Next, I was running up and down a long corridor in a place we lived in with what looked like a miniature pony, only the playful animal seemed to be made of plastic. It was like a blow-up toy or something, haha. 

Then I heard Tom’s voice as he came walking down the corridor toward me with some (grocery?) bags in hand.

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