I was almost afraid to wake up this morning, but I’m happy to be able to say that my allergies are just fine. The question is for how long? Yesterday and the day before were just horrible. I even had the runs, but only once. Tom thinks it was just the congestion draining that upset my tummy. Sure felt like my head was going to explode too, and I had scattered sneezing fits throughout the day. I was only able to get just some of the things done that I wanted to do. Maybe I can finally work out today. Plus I want to clean the bathroom, wash sheets and towels, make up the grocery list, and hope that Tom doesn’t have to work tomorrow. We really want to start calling some people about some of the places that look like they might be potential homes for us!

Tom got the results of his blood work. He’s in good health. :)

A friend of mine who’s about the same height said she has the exact same problem I have. She just can’t seem to lose weight no matter how little she eats, and she spends more time struggling not to gain more than she does trying to actually lose weight. But like me, she had a hard time telling herself to just stay fat, be happy, and accept it. I used to think that most of those who were fat either wanted to be or just didn’t care. But maybe they too, simply can’t stand the constant hunger and fatigue of damn near starving themselves day after day after day only to lose little to no weight that only comes back. Finally, I asked myself, “Would you rather spend the next 40 years hungry for little to no reason? Or would you rather look like shit?” I decided I’d rather be an eyesore despite the giant I know I will become.

Haven’t been able to post to Twitter in a couple of days. Only auto-posted stuff is showing up, so fuck it.

Andy insists it’s not him sending the anonymous comments. I think it’s Molly or Kim or maybe even both. I know Kim was asking about herself yesterday cuz no one else would care enough about her enough to ask if I think she still sends me things.

In fact, Aly just said: Kim swears she hasn’t been to ask in some time (yeah, she tweets that you’re mentioning her because a “source” told her about it) but yeah, wouldn’t surprise me to find out that she’s behind it! If she weren’t I don’t think she’d be mentioning it.

I told her: I KNOW it’s her. It’s exactly what she would ask and exactly how she would ask it as well. I can’t believe she doesn’t check this blog out. Could be going to the trackless one or disabling cookies and coming here, but I really wish she’d leave me the fuck alone along with the other troll. If you can feel sorry for someone who’s friendless for being the delusional liar that she is, fine, but I can’t. I don’t want a damn thing to do with her.

Later...

It’s going to be a looong night. I’m nowhere near ready for bed, I don’t feel like reading, and I can’t watch a movie in peace because the fucking mutts are going crazy tonight. As loud as it is down here when the sound machines aren’t on, I’d never guess they were nearly 200’ away. Honestly, they don’t sound more than 50’ away.

I have absolutely no respect or concern for this fucking cock and how we leave the place when we move. If it’s filthy, tough shit. If we leave stuff we don’t want, tough shit. He’ll just have to deal with it. It’ll be nothing compared to the shit I’ve had to put up with, unable to do this or to do that because it is so damn obnoxious that I’m forced to put on sound machines so they can go crazy for hours at a time without driving me out of my mind. I can’t watch movies or do anything that requires a quiet background when they’re going off. I can’t study languages, I can’t proofread with the electronic reader, I can’t do anything. After 4 years of this shit, I am so fucking sick of having to be put out and plan my time around whether or not that bastard’s home. I don’t give a shit how we leave this place, though knowing him he’ll get his sister to deal with it. Still, I don’t have an ounce of concern for this shitbox or any desire whatsoever to get rid of what we don’t want or to clean the place beforehand. Besides, that’s what deposits are for anyway. As it is, they or someone they know can probably use some of the shit we leave behind, and I know he’ll be thrilled to see nearly a full tank of propane.

Yeah, that pisses me off, too. We were wrong in thinking we wouldn’t need any more propane before we left. The propane people are coming next week and you can bet I’m going to be cooking up a storm even though it’s too hot for it because I don’t want the next people getting a complimentary tank on us. I hate this propane thing! I miss having normal utilities, though I’m not going to like having to have electric bills again. Probably water, sewer, trash and maybe even gas, too. It’s cheaper in the summer, so 100 gallons cost us $178 instead of nearly $300, but still, we’ll be at 60% when they fill us, and I doubt it will be under 50% when we leave. That’s a little more than what it was when we got here. It was at 40% then.

Since the dogs are down here every day, I asked Tom if he wanted to throw out some poisoned meat, but he doesn’t want to invite any bad karma on us. He’s got a point there. Enough bad things have happened to us simply for breathing. I swear to God, though, that if I have to sit and listen to hours of barking from whomever we end up next to when we move. I will kill the fucking thing. I swear I will. After 20 years of this shit, I can’t take any more. God, please don’t beat me over the head with other people’s dogs for the rest of my life! Then again, like He gives a shit, right? I’ll just have to take care of them on my own and I will.

Unless I knew they were assholes, I really feel bad for the next people in here. Let’s just hope that for their sake they don’t mind barking and aren’t into the Internet.

I just hope nothing else breaks before we get out of here! We’re really close now because we now have enough saved up to either negotiate a payment plan on something nicer or buy a place outright that’s not as nice if no one’s willing to negotiate and work with us.

Why is it so hard for some people to just let go, accept when a friendship is over, and simply move on? Especially when it was just a friendship and nothing more. Kim and some equally juvenile friend of hers (if it isn’t her pretending to be that friend) have been pestering me on Ask. Really, why does Kim care to ask if I still think she sends me things? Our so-called friendship has been over a while now, so why should she care what the hell I think? Why can’t people just let me go when I want them to, and why can’t I hear more from those I care about? Some of them anyway. It is just so damn easy to get what I don’t want in life.

I’m not going to bother with Twitter anymore. Too many problems. Pages not loading, tweets not posting, etc. Only the auto-sent tweets are posting (from my blog) so fuck it. I should’ve remembered why I left there in the first place.