So I’m chatting with Maliheh all the while the fucking connection is cutting in and out. I worried at first that she got offended by my asking her to share her personal experiences with attracting women. She said she wasn’t looking to draw the attention of anyone. I know that, I told her, but wondered if she had a hard time picking up women like I did when she was younger and dating and all that. Then she went silent. She usually signs off with “over and out.” At first I worried I made her uncomfortable, but I’m sure she thought I just wasn’t going to be able to get back online that night and that she would’ve either just not answered the question or told me if it upset her in any way, so I’m not worried about it. She knows we have a shitty connection. It took me damn near an hour just to reply to her, and some previous replies bounced back. That was stupid of me to try to initiate a chat after she sent me some cute cat pics as shitty as our connection is. We should wait till we have a better connection.

Anyway, I guess they’ve been treating her mother like a queen since they were careless with her and broke her leg. She’s going to visit her in a few weeks and says it will be nice to visit without having to spend half the time bitching out the staff where she’s living.

She taught me something really cool. I thought she was viewing my blog but she insisted it wasn’t her. But I knew that was her information showing up on my tracker. That’s when I realized that when I copy/paste from my blog, the tracking code is embedded in the email. So it’s logging her as a visitor when she opens the email. Way cool! I’m going to start copying and pasting from my blog into Andy’s emails too, and not from Word.

Maliheh says she isn’t going to any of my sites. Do I believe her? IDK, but I think she’s probably being honest about that if I had to guess.

Kim or Molly is back to pestering me on Ask. I had an ocean scene with a wave crashing onto the shore in the background at the time. They asked if that was the wave that would sweep all the losers away. I just deleted it. Andy still thinks that ignoring them will cause them to get bored with me and eventually go away, but as I’ve learned, people just don’t seem to know how to let go very easily. They just won’t always let you ignore them. But maybe, just maybe, if I give it enough time they’ll go away.

Then again, maybe it’s not them at all. Maybe some of the “questions” have absolutely nothing to do with them and I’m just jumping the gun and making false assumptions. I doubt it, though. Like I said, I’m going to just ignore them and not pull any pranks of my own. If I do Aly would only hear about it, then she would ask me if I was behind it. Well, as she unknowingly taught me, I’d have to lie to her and say that no, I wasn’t, because she’d only tell Kim and I don’t want that. It still pisses me off to think of all the things I thought I was sharing with her in secrecy that she shared with Kim. That really bothers me.

Maybe I need to bring back some of the old me. The person who wasn’t very forgiving, tolerant, and eager to please. Maybe I do too much for others and need to think of myself a little more. Maybe I need to go back to being hard to get as a friend but easy to lose. Less trouble that way, right?

The plan is still on to sever all ties with my sister when mom dies, even though I know I can expect some harassment from her and her brood for it. Not sure if I’m going to take the time to give her an explanation or if I’m simply going to disappear. First of all, I don’t owe her any explanations. Second of all, she’s not going to get it or even want to hear it anyway. I will, however, discuss it in my blog. But I will do so without being vengeful. Meaning that I won’t post her full name or any other info that personally identifies her. Being less eager to please and less of a softie doesn’t mean I need to go back to being a vengeful bitch cuz then I’m stooping as low as the assholes that piss me off in the first place.

But what to do with journal entries that may piss her off in the meantime? Well, I’m pretty sure she’s not reading my MD journal where I’ve slowly been posting entries from the '80s on up. But sooner or later she might, and if it’s sooner, mom will have to hear all about it and then I’ll have to deal with even more shit. I really don’t want to make any family waves till Mom’s gone and I find out for sure that I’m not getting anything. After she’s gone and all that and after I let Tammy go, then I’ll post entries pertaining to her that she would perceive as negative.

Tom’s going to check out 4 promising parks tomorrow. I’ll be sleeping most of the day, but he’s going to film things with the old Flipcam. Tomorrow we should have a much better idea of where we’re going and when.

I’m so excited about owning our own home again! To be able to pick out colors and decorations and decide what we want to change, upgrade and remodel is going to be loads of fun. I still would’ve preferred to move into an on-site house on a concrete foundation that was already tailored to my tastes, but this will be way better than remaining cramped in with the Jes pest and his mutts.

I’m still a little nervous, though, too. We’re going into a whole new experience and place. It’s been over 4 years now since we’ve lived in any civilized areas, though there’s nothing “civil” about the Jes pest’s mutts and motors. Barking may not be the issue it is in the mainstream where we’re going, but cars pulling in and out all day might be. I’m not going to be any less of a light sleeper there than I am here, so my biggest concern right now is people jolting me awake by slamming car doors. The vibration can sometimes override the sound machine. Hopefully, it won’t be a big deal. I did survive many months of motel life, though it wasn’t without its share of lost or interrupted sleep.

Today would’ve been my parents’ 63rd anniversary. Kind of a sad thought. I’m sure it will be a rough day for Mom.

I’m up two whole pounds today from yesterday. That’s a big jump even for me. I probably didn’t lose any weight in my sleep last time around and I sometimes don’t. I’m still not going to drive myself crazy with diets. I eat when I’m hungry and that’s that.

Later...

First we had to pick out what park we wanted to be in before we picked out the home. So Tom scouted out a few different parks. One had a locked gate he couldn’t even get into. That would be the one with the triple-wide I like.

The one with the single-wide that the park was selling for just a grand was too cramped.

Another looked potentially noisy as he saw park people out and about with blowers and a motorcycle parked by one of the places. I’m surprised they would even allow motorcycles in adult communities! Isn’t the whole purpose to escape loud and consistent sounds? Anyway, after being annoyed enough with living next to one for 4 years that’s 200’ away, I can’t imagine one just 2’ away!

I had assumed all the parks would be like most of the hotels and apartment complexes where someone would always be out mowing and blowing, but there’s actually nothing to mow or blow in most parks. Most parks just have gravel, plus whatever plants people choose to plant around their homes.

I want pink rosebushes!

Then he checked out a park that appeared gorgeous by satellite and it was indeed a beautiful park.

Lastly, he checked out the Stonegate Park and this one looks like our best bet as it’s a nice park. Not so cramped and only 6 miles from where he works instead of 18. They also do their own financing there at the park. We’re not sure how many they own, but they do have quite a few for sale.

I just want to find the right place and get the ball rolling! Can’t wait to give Jesse the bad news too, LOL. Tom’s gonna call this park tomorrow to line up a time for us both to actually meet with them and to actually look inside some of these places and not just pictures online.

I’m so sick of being cramped in here and with a connection that’s slower than a snail when there’s any connection at all to begin with! It’s been horrible. Still looks like we’ll be gone by October, though. That’s a great time to go, too. The weather doesn’t usually cool down till late November or early December, but October is still certainly cooler than August. As soon as it starts dipping under the 80s, out comes the Jes pest to build motors, hammer away at mufflers, saw trees for firewood, and a million other things. The dogs bark more then, too.