They didn’t have those raspberry ketones at either Walmart or Raley’s but they have them on Amazon. I read some of the reviews and they vary widely. Some say it doesn’t do anything for them as far as appetite and weight loss go, some say it makes them feel ill or their heart race (there’s caffeine in it), while most say it’s wonderful. I guess it varies from person to person. This will be my last-ditch effort to try to stop myself from gaining what may be an average of two pounds a week because I just can’t do the 1000-calorie-a-day thing day after day after day. So we ordered a bottle of 60 pills (not the drink mix) for $6 and change.

Our connection is closer to dial-up slow than satellite slow, so Tom’s going to tell our provider to downgrade us to the slowest and cheapest connection since that’s what we’re getting anyway. Might as well pay for what we get, right? Then again, they’re not even worth their slowest speed that’s how shitty their service is, but if all goes well, we’ll be meeting with the park realtors next weekend. I’m amazed at just how many parks there are in the area we’re going to.

Here goes the daily spamfest. Still can’t figure out what I’m doing to draw these intermittent spurts of spam or how people are getting my email address. Is it the Facebook apps I sometimes sign up for?

“Stop whining.” That was today’s “question” from one of my trolls. It’s really sad and it pisses me off that these people just won’t leave me the fuck alone no matter how much I ignore them. Had I known for a minute that Kim was another Molly I wouldn’t have given her the time of day. Does Aly have any sane people in her life besides Dustin and I? Her family’s mean to her and the rest of her friends are crazy. So now I’m going to have these two trolls following me and pestering me for the rest of my life whether I acknowledge them or ignore them. Nothing I do works. I haven’t said a word to these people lately. I thought ignoring trolls was supposed to cause them to get bored with you. In the past, I have thought of so many different things to say to scare them off or get them sick of me, but they simply will not let go. They’re as obsessed with me as Nervous was years ago. I realize that as unlikely as it is, it may not be Kim or Molly at all, though “stop whining” does seem like something Molly or her mother would say. But maybe Aly’s been just as crazy all along. Maybe she’s two-facing me worse than Kim ever did. Maybe it’s someone I consider a friend. Maybe it’s an acquaintance. Maybe it’s a stranger that’s been lurking behind the scenes. Like I said, though, it’s unlikely that it’s not connected to Kim or Molly.

I started to run and disable anonymous comments, but then I refused, deciding that I wouldn’t let them win or control me. But I know them. I know not to think that telling them I want more questions from them would get them to stop out of determination not to give me what I supposedly want. Nothing I say or do or don’t say or do will ever make them go away! If I told them to go away, they wouldn’t. If I told them to contact me some more, they probably wouldn’t contact me anymore, but they still wouldn’t go away either.

sighs Why me??? IDK, it may piss them off more than it would me if I did deny them a way to question me anonymously, but I don’t know that. For all I know disabling anonymous comments may give them a good laugh while taking some of the fun away for me, so I’m going to leave things as they are for now.

When I saw their “question” my first thought was that they read my blog where I was bitching about our connection. But then I realized they could be saying that in response to my interactions with Andy for all I know. I still believe that Molly and Kim both read my journal every day, but are dodging my tracker. However, someone has been following both Andy and I closely. I can tell by the questions we’ve been getting, though we agreed to only answer those that aren’t obviously from the stalking trolls.

One thing that’s funny, though, is that I started to answer the question, then quickly deleted it. So if they have an account it will tell them that Lady Rainbow answered their question that they just can’t find because even if you ask a question anonymously, you still get notified that your question was answered if you have an account there. I probably shouldn’t have done that, but that’s the last time I’ll do it.

I also love how if you’re a last.fm member (my favorite online radio) you can click ‘detect’ on LJ when you go to post an entry and it fills in the song you’re currently listening to. It won’t play it when you open the entry, though; just provide you with a link to last.fm.

You can also choose moods for posts, and control the individual security settings. It always detects a different town within my area because our IP# changes so often. Right now it thinks I’m in Penryn. Earlier I was in North Highlands. Rarely am I in Auburn.

Although some people are aware of this blog, I’m not going to mention it to anyone since it’s just for fun. Plus I want to allow anonymous comments (though it will log their IP#) without the trolls butting in. I wonder if disabling cookies would beat LJ’s tracker, too?

Later...

Andy says to give it 6 months to a year and that if I ignore the trolls for that long, they’ll go away. I still doubt it, but we’ll see.

Aly thinks it’s likely to be Molly over Kim and so do I. Aly said Kim did open up to her more about what she does and how her hours vary depending on if there’s work to actually do. Also, her family supposedly convinced her that she’s to blame for me writing about her and that admitting she’s had “sources” check up on me is admitting to stalking g me. So they convinced her to stay away from my sites if they wanted me to stop mentioning her. That’s what I tried to tell her myself but she just didn’t get it. Meanwhile, I’ll hide any mention of her from public viewing, ignore Molly on Ask, and see if that eventually works.

Aly said she’s having less to do with Kim and realizes she’s happier without her in her life. Yeah, I knew she’d eventually see the light. But as I told her, better to just silently fade away than to confront and dump her like I did. As I learned the hard way, confronting and dumping brings the rage out in her and causes her to stalk and lash out like she has.

I mentioned Kim to Kathy and she was surprised. But as Kathy said, it goes to show that sometimes it’s those you least expect who go crazy on you. Well, I knew Kim was out of it but I sure didn’t expect her to turn into Molly. Even Aly admits that while it always fell apart no matter how many chances she gave her, a part of her misses what she had with Molly because, as I said, Molly was always just Molly and she at least cared. She may be just as bad of a liar as Kim is as well as delusional, but you can’t trust a goddamn word Kim says. Everything is a lie with her. Just one big fantasy and delusion. That’s part of why I dumped her. It wasn’t just the two-facing bit, but seeing her tell someone on Ask she was a tall blond who wanted to learn Spanish after she told me she was a short brunette who knew Spanish and French really got old because I just didn’t know what to believe anymore. Similar discrepancies like this were happening all too often. Life is too short to bother with those I can’t trust or who only bring me down. You can’t change people. All you can do is decide who’s worth putting up with and who’s not. I’m like some of my friends in that I have trust issues. I have a hard time believing a lot of what is told to me. An occasional white lie or softening of the truth, as some people refer to it as being, I can deal with. Not tons of blatant, obvious lies.

Mom tried to call yesterday from what I could see but didn’t leave a message. I’ll call her later on.

Lost the two pounds I gained, though it was definitely water. I got that Chinese oolong tea again and drank two cups yesterday. Even the soreness from the fluid build-up in my boobies is better. Without this stuff, I’d be in for a looong PMS this month.

The net is still running slower than slow, but Tom was too tired to deal with the assholes at AT&T once he got home from what’s been over 100° weather. Doesn’t look like we’ll be cooling down anytime soon, but I love it! Not looking forward to the fall at all even though the fall isn’t till late November or early December in these parts.

I told Tom I can call AT&T myself but he said no thanks cuz he wants some service instead of no service. In other words, he doesn’t trust me not to go off on them, LOL. Well, they certainly would deserve it. This is ridiculous. Just absolutely ridiculous. I can’t play the radio, stream videos; nothing. Just going from site to site can take forever, and that’s only when we’re connected in the first place, so I’m not spending much time online at all. I just post my journal and check messages once or twice a day.

He called the park he liked best that’s close to work but they said he had to talk to some manager, so he’s going to call back. Plus this woman selling her home in another park that claims her place is 65 x 30. Ok, I’ll buy old Harriet’s claim of 65’ long, but knowing the various widths of most modulars, 30’ wide seems a bit overkill. Maybe it really is a large triple-wide like that Skyline I liked going for 10K. She’s selling hers for 5K, so it’s got to be a total dump inside. We’ll hopefully find out soon and go from phone calls to actual visits! I’m getting really excited the more real this gets. The day we “go home” is going to be pretty damn emotional for me, especially since we almost went out in body bags a few times.