Tuesday, August 6, 2024

Finally, a day with decent energy! Why, oh why, can't it be like this most of the time instead of some of the time?

I was thinking earlier, and despite the fact that I hold firm in my decision to never forgive my parents and wasn't kidding when I said I wouldn't have anything to do with them if they were suddenly alive again, they did pull me out of the quicksand a few times. I'll give them that much. First, if they had never sent me to Arizona, I would never have met Tom. If they hadn't paid for a few nights at the hotel in 2007, we would have been on the streets a lot longer than 36 hours. Lastly, although it was material things, they also sent a lot of clothes and household items that were very helpful and came in handy.

I noticed my tinnitus is getting a little louder. It used to only be noticeable when it was dead quiet, but now I notice it with soft sounds. I really hope it's not something that's going to keep getting worse and worse!

I made another Temu order:

  • A set of 7 colorful thongs in a smaller size since the last set I got is a little big on me.

  • An electric foot file to buff off calluses.

  • Super thin socks that won’t make my feet too hot yet should help protect them from this evil carpet I'm likely stuck with for the rest of my life.

  • Plastic shoes for around the pool which we haven't been to in a while.

  • Cleaning sheets I want to try. You throw them in the toilet or on the floor and as long as you wet them, they're supposed to be good for cleaning.

  • Auspicious incense.

  • Eyelash serum I also want to try. I've always had long, thick eyelashes. As I've aged, though, they’re still long but not as thick. I want to see if this stuff is as good as it claims to be as far as thickening the lashes goes.

The fucking mowers woke me up even though it was only for a second and I did sleep better. Tom said they were unusually loud today and came right up to the house with a really loud edger. They were supposed to come tomorrow instead, so had I known they were going to come today, I would have set up the second echo. I don't know, though. They were so fucking loud that I don't know if it would have done me any good.

I had a dream that we were so broke and didn't own anything anymore and were renting a room the size of a hotel room somewhere. He must have been his real age because he was still retired, and I remember wondering to myself if our only hope of ever owning a place again would be to go to a miserably cold and snowy climate. But I must have been young and slim again because, at the same time, I was having an affair with a young woman.

While I was at it, I started to get excited when an older woman announced that she would be teaching a painting class. Expecting it to be a $10 class, I asked how much the class cost and she said it was $52, so that was out of the question.

I don't know why I've been having a lot of poverty dreams. We're not literally “poor.” We don't yet have the kind of extra spending money we had in Cali, but we'll get there.

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