Another shitty sleep, but hey, what else is new? I only have so much longer to deal with this, though. If the doctor can’t fix this, I will. Still would have preferred to stick around as long as he does and actually live my life, but I cannot and will not accept a life spent in bed wishing I could do what I no longer can. I do feel a little better than I felt earlier.

I suddenly remembered that we hadn't switched the CPAP back from saying I was using a full face mask to a nasal mask, so we did that today. I don't know that it makes a difference in how it works, but there must be a reason for these options. Maybe it scores differently depending on what you choose, and maybe that's why my scores have been a little elevated lately. We'll find out.

Another thing that's been fucked up is my digestive tract. I haven't been stuck this often or doing wimpy poops so often either. I don't feel like I'm lacking in liquids or fiber, so I don't know what's up with that. That's the least of my concerns though, even though I feel slight nausea at times. I swear I woke up feeling nauseous at one point last night too. Well, I don't know if the nausea woke me up or if I woke up and then noticed I was nauseous. I'm guessing the latter.

Did some research to settle my curiosity as to why so many places in dreams seem so vivid and realistic, and now I'm even starting to doubt the multi-universe theory. I asked how we could dream of such places if no one we dream of is made up and is actually based on someone we saw at some point or another in our lives. Well, since memory is reconstructive and not photographic, those vivid and realistic-looking places are actually from various sources, be it parts of photographs, movies, or places we've actually been, etc.

I'm also more convinced that NDE experiences aren't real. They're very real to the person that experiences them, but they're not literally real. It's just the brain playing tricks on them, which would explain why so many of these experiences are similar, with the bright light and the tunnel and a supposed God, etc.

To confirm my ever growing doubts of there being a god, I even started a little prayer sheet on Google Docs just to see how it pans out. Keeping the prayers realistic and fair and reasonable, I've got a few prayers that are more long-term over the next several weeks and months, and then a daily prayer for better sleep and energy.

Before I crashed, I prayed for better sleep and energy and was definitely denied this. The three other long-term ones I've got so far are to get to my ENT appointment without being too exhausted, for Ray to finish his windows while I'm awake, and to get my energy restored in 2026. Not expecting the last one to happen, I was thinking I might go right when storm season starts. Why make myself even more exhausted for nothing?

There's just no way we could leave Florida without being forced to rent some dumpy apartment. At our ages, if we suddenly didn't have this house, we would almost certainly never be homeowners again. A part of me thinks it would be nice to rent and not have it be on us when a major appliance craps out, and since I can't sleep in a quiet place and I'm going to be exhausted anyway, we may as well enjoy the freedom of being able to move around easier—not that we could afford just any rental. But renting is more expensive and moving takes energy I don't have, and I definitely don't want to go back to the days of having to listen to people slamming doors and cabinets and blasting TVs and music while some of them walk like elephants.

When Ray gets his windows replaced in his living room, I wonder if this will encourage him to open them more and let his TV sounds out. I sure hope not. Although we suspect that some of the times we could hear the TV, he had the lanai open.

Kathy's in the hospital with her third round of COVID. I'm sorry she feels like shit, but that's what you get for having the initial two vaxes but no boosters. It will be interesting to see if she's learned from this.