I slept elevated without the CPAP, but I don’t think it’s worth it. It’s too easy to twist onto my back, which I did twice, snorting myself awake each time. It’s not as comfortable, so if I’m going to wake myself up when I flop onto my stomach, I might as well lie flat where it’s more comfortable. I still say there’s a curse on my sleep, and nothing I do is going to get rid of it. I also don’t know how to stop what people call those 3:00 a.m. wake-up times, even though the time varies in my case.

I took melatonin and half a clonazepam before bed, but when I got up to pee, I not only had to take a couple of ibuprofen since I still have jaw pain from inflammation, but I also had to take another half of clonazepam to get back to sleep. I ended up sleeping a long time—9.5 hours—which is rare for me these days. I’m sure this means I’ll be up for fucking ever, at around 18 hours, and only sleep for 6. It’s like my body will only let my schedule jump so much, so fast.

Nonetheless, I haven’t had any lung tightness today, and I have a little more energy as well. I called it “mixed energy” in the app I track my sleep and energy levels. Sadly, bad energy is in the lead over good energy, just like old times. I kept hoping it would get way ahead of it, but if it hasn’t by now, it’s not going to.

If it weren’t my own damn body causing my sleep issues, it would be noise. One guy on PB said he’s given up on a good night’s sleep. Me too. It’s just not going to happen, and when it does, it won’t be very often. I just hope my sleep apnea doesn’t get worse.