Between things breaking and things not working, we just can’t get a break! Working on Prolific was supposed to be for buying fun things and household upgrades; now it’s for things that need to be repaired or replaced, along with my health needs. There’s just no getting ahead. 

I warned Tom that iPhones suck and he would hate it, and sure enough—not that this is a crisis that needs to be replaced right away—but it somehow broke his Fitbit. I guess he went to set something up, and now it won’t work at all.

What really sucks is that we’re trying to switch back to Spectrum since Frontier is spotty and slow, yet the modem they sent us doesn’t work. He couldn’t get their live chat to work, so he finally had to call to schedule someone to come out. As if this isn’t bad enough, they’ll be coming when I have to sleep, which means I’m likely to get woken up. He’ll tell them to be quiet, but most people don’t get the definition of the word quiet. If they just have to walk like elephants, as some people do, or if they drop something, I’ll be looking at another day of fatigue.

I’ve been tired all day today, not because I slept badly, but because I stupidly took Benadryl, hoping it would jump my schedule forward quicker. All it did was leave me groggy. I’ve never been able to control it enough to make it jump faster or slower anyway, so it was stupid for me to even try. If I could do that, I wouldn’t have this problem, and I would always be on days. I still may have some degree of CF coming and going, and who knows where my thyroid is at the moment? I’m also adjusting to my partial Atkins diet, so that may be causing some of the fatigue as well.

I’m a little stressed about my upcoming appointment because it’s going to be a very long day for me. I hope that won’t affect any of the tests they do. My eyes are still annoying, and the only time they don’t seem overly watery is when the tear ducts crust over.

Between having ADD and frequent fatigue that makes it hard for me to be consistent when writing full-length novels, I was thinking I might just switch to doing random scenes. I’d write whatever came to mind whenever I felt like writing—sort of like journal prompts, only I’d be making things up instead of writing about an experience or feeling I had. I probably wouldn’t share them, though, because they’d be hard for people to follow. That’s okay. I don’t have to share everything I write.

I deleted Adonis today. He just doesn’t seem to be around very much, and I almost never hear from him. If his heart isn’t in a friendship, why have him on my friend list? I don’t care who I’m connected to on other sites, but when it comes to Facebook, I prefer to keep that confined to people I actually interact with, even if it isn’t every day.

I found myself missing Marie the other day, but I won’t dare ask Becky to have her email me. I won’t reach out to anyone who obviously wants nothing to do with me or who’s crazy—in this case, it’s both. I still don’t know what the perceived slight was about. I deleted the conversation thread years ago, so I can’t go back and read it, but even if I could, I’m sure it still wouldn’t make sense. I have no idea what I did to upset her and cause her to block me, but that’s just the mentally ill for you. She was always very paranoid and accusatory, even when she could be a sweetheart the moment before. I can’t stand people like that with constant and drastic mood swings. A part of me will always care about her and hope she’s doing well, but people don’t change. I’m smart enough to know that, and I’m not going to try to reconnect with anyone who’s been a problem in the past. 

I thought about once again allowing people to message me and send me friend requests on Facebook, hoping I’d hear from someone I actually want to hear from, but I know if I do that, I’ll get the opposite. Even if I don’t hear from anyone connected to Andy or Tammy, it’ll just be someone from the park I barely know who ends up sitting silently on my friend list until I delete them. Every time I open the door for something good to come through, I end up with unwanted stuff instead. Besides, anyone I’d really like to hear from isn’t going to message me anyway.