Here’s something interesting, although I don’t dare get my hopes up. Not even close. I’ve gotten my hopes up way too many times in life about way too many things. Nonetheless, here’s a very interesting coincidence. I was horribly fatigued yesterday. So much so that I felt depressed. An hour or so after taking the NADH plus CoQ10 and D-ribose, I noticed a boost in energy. I thought it was weird because I don’t usually perk up when I’m that tired and the fatigue was pretty extreme. Same thing happened today. My sleep was a little better than the night before, although still fragmented.

As far as using the CPAP versus not, I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t. If I do, I have mouth farts and hissing when the mask slips, and if I don’t, I have the effects of the sleep apnea itself disrupting my sleep. So I decided that if I’m going to be woken up a few times an hour anyway, why not add a couple more times and turn the maximum pressure up to the standard 20, so I can at least get more air while having my sleep disturbed? So I turned it up, and we’ll see how it goes the next time I sleep. 

I’m a little worried the machine is broken, though, because it wouldn’t stop blowing. Normally, when I first remove the mask or disconnect the hose, it blows hard for a few seconds, then gently for a few minutes, then stops. I took it off when I had the usual break in sleep I can’t seem to escape, and when I got up a few hours later, I noticed it was blowing hard. Later, I put the mask on, inhaled to get it started, then took off the mask. It stopped blowing hard after a few seconds but it never stopped blowing gently. So now I’m going to have to unplug and replug the thing and hope it doesn’t break even more. Then again, I’m already considering giving up on it with all the fatigue I have anyway, though I would have to sleep elevated, which I don’t prefer.

Here’s where it gets weird. I woke up horribly exhausted again. Like horribly. I thought I was going to have a miserable day all day and that the simple acts of showering and cooking would be rough as usual. Then an hour after taking my second dose of the stuff, I perked up. It’s only been twice, so I don’t want to get my hopes up, although I did read that it is possible.

Weirder still is the fact that I’m not even quite taking it right. Because I have trouble swallowing large pills, I’ve been opening the capsules and pouring the powder into a glass. Then I add a little water and drink it down. From what I read earlier today, water degrades the NADH. I read that the best way to get capsules down is to tuck your chin since capsules float. People tend to toss their heads back instead. Throwing your head back is fine for heavier pills, I read, but not capsules. It recommended I wet my throat, place it on my tongue, take a swig of water but don’t swallow it right away, then drop my head down when I do. I have to take two of them a day, so hopefully this will work and the gel won’t stick to my throat. My throat itself is tiny, too.

There are some gummies I could try but they don’t contain the D-ribose. AI says that’s the least important ingredient, though. I just hope it doesn’t start fucking up my stomach, but if it’s going to give me my energy and my life back, it can fuck up whatever else it wants.

Again, though, I don’t want to get my hopes up too high. It’s early days. I just feel so hopeless at times. Like completely powerless. No one will give me a mouth guard and I can’t get the weight off either, so there’s no chance of reversing my sleep apnea. With my shit luck, though, even if I could lose weight, I probably would still have sleep apnea. I sure thought making other changes in the past would change things, and it didn’t. Change doesn’t always improve things. After all, the CPAP and nose job are definitely keeping me from suffocating awake but it hasn’t restored my energy. 

Got my new tank tops today. I wish I’d sized down but they’re still nice and comfy.